OT: A Board Divided Part 2

Submitted by 1464 on

Last summer I posted a series of questions meant to tear the board apart and further divided a very polarized fanbase.  From what I could discern, nobody lost any limbs - which made the whole experience a failure.  So I'll do what I can to provoke some sort of blood letting on the board.  What are your opinions on the following questions?

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?

2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?

3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?

4.  Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?

5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?

6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?

1464

May 23rd, 2014 at 9:29 PM ^

A cheetah of average intelligence versus a man of average size and stretch. Honestly, cheetahs are much bigger pussies than you would think, pun intended. Cheetahs are very frail. A fight to the death, both parties know this fact. One stomp and the cheetahs leg is splintered. If you protect your neck, cheetah is done. His claws dont retract which means theyre sharp but not razor sharp. A cheetah vs a coyote is a fair fight...

ypsituckyboy

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:32 PM ^

1. Yes. It's happened.

2. Stuffy alums. I'd rather have a gnarly-toothed, GED carrying fan who will scream his lungs out for the Maize and Blue than a guy who thinks it's beneath him to cheer for a school he supposedly loves.

3. It smells bad. Pizza will do that to one's BM's.

4. It smells worse than Brandon's. The diet of an average college football coach cannot be very good.

5. Pay the players, ditch the water polo. Few tears will be shed, and even the ones that are will be confused with pool water.

6. Kitty-corner and catty-corner are no synomyns. Catty-corner is adjacent whereas kitty-corner is diagonal.

Yeezus

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:35 PM ^

1.  Yes.  Unless that man is me.  Then the answer is, "No".

2.  I honestly hope our stuffy old alumni don't buy Wal-Mart stock.  That can't be a high-return investment.    

3.  My bathroom always smells like poop or farts.

4.  He probably feels at home, because I imagine his bathroom often smells of poop and farts.

5. It's like buying the prize pig so you can roast it, whole hog style.  Sorry, other little pigs that used to suck at the prize pig's teets.  No more milk for you.

6.  What is this kitty corner you speak of?  Is it a corner filled with kittens?  Why isn't anyone buying the kittens?

joby1only

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:40 PM ^

1. Yes, even Denard is not fast enough to get away.

2. ditto from yippy

3. Shit, from Domino's but he did market shitty pizza well.

4. He better shit or get off the pot this year.

5. Pay them all a little but I have no idea how to control it.

6. Catty corner is only one I have heard. I live in OH-IO (that has to be the stupidest chant ever)!

jmdblue

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:39 PM ^

Average male cheetah kills average man

Stuffy jerks owning wallmart stock are stuffy jerks

I disapprove of D. Brandon

I highly approve of B. Hoke

I will not answer a hypothetical that has zero chance of coming true

kitty corner

 

Cheers and Happy Memorial Day.  I tend not to get too caught up in things military, but I do love our country and, to those who served or have lost one who served, thank you.

BlueCube

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:43 PM ^

1.  It depends on if the cheetah cheats and draws his gun first.

2. The stuffy alumni is dependent on the farmer for profits which puts him lower on the food chain.

3.  You mean on the J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head?

4. Neither. Al Borges cleaned the bathroom.

5.  Ask the SEC how it works.

6.  Kitty Corner

 

umfan323

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:46 PM ^

1 I would run away from the cheetahs (yes I'm that fast)

2 the old stuff people who own stock

3 it would stink but he would have music blasting so I couldn't hear him grunting pushing out shitty ideas

4 mediocrity ,I tell him you got 1 more shot to stink it up  

5 basketball and football every other sport sucks

6 I don't give a fuck "smokeys voice" 

maizenblue92

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:51 PM ^

1. Cheetah, unless man is Charles Woodson (as he possess the speed to run away)

2. Stuffy old alumni, fringe fans are only possessed by big teams. Having them is a sign of strength.

3. Shit. Everyones poop smells like poop.

4. Shit. See #3.

5. You don't pay anybody.

6. Never heard of either and I live in Grand Rapids.

LSAClassOf2000

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:52 PM ^

I've heard both. Having grown up in southeast Michigan, virtually everyone here says "kitty corner", as you might assume, but going down South and out west - for a reason that I cannot fathom in my Michigan mind - "Catty corner" is actually somewhat more common among people who are not transplants. 

OHbornUMfan

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:54 PM ^

1. I would eviscerate a cheetah, but sadly it would outrun me.

2. The demographic that hurts Michigan's reptutation the most is (sadly) the football players from our biggest rivals.

3. Would you like to buy some Shinola? If you and nine friends all buy some, we can provide bonus experiencing possibilities!

4. I've heard that the farts smell like pizza, so I imagine the lingering scent in my bathroom is much the same.

5. I do not believe that other sports would go away.  I played intramural everything when I was in college.  Kids who want to play sports will have opportunities to play sports.  But in answer to your question, sure, I'd make it more fair for the revenue guys at the expense of the others.

6. It's kitty corner. 

His Dudeness

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:55 PM ^

1) cheetahs are actually quite small. About the size of a lab and only weigh around 65 pounds. Man wins
2) Walmart, no question. Rich guys pay bills.
3) DB wouldn't make it past the front door
4) Brady wouldn't make it up the driveway
5) I played polo, so no
6) neither one makes a difference . Nobody knows what it means anyway. Is it diagonal across? Is it strait across to left? To the right? You tell me. I don't fucking know.

Tommy Want Wingy

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:37 PM ^

1. Cheetahs are fast, and mean.

2. I'll take the GED dude anyday, at least he can party, and likes, you know, cheering at a sporting event.

3. Dave Brandon pisses all over the seat to mark his territory. It now has a gold encrusted plaque that reads "University of Michigan Athletic Director Dave Brandon's seat of champions.- Those who stay will get hemorrhoids."

4. Brady Hoke spends his whole time in the stall muttering about toughness, with little progress made, making me increasingly uncomfortable.

5. I think they can find money for both in the coffers, but I'd drop a few teams in the name of paying the people that actually make the money, if it came to that.

6. Catty Corner.

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

May 23rd, 2014 at 4:58 PM ^

1. I mean, pretty much obviously yes, unless the dude was armed.

2. The only people who even think we have "lightly-toothed farm dwellers" are Sparties, and they would hate us anyway.  Outside the state borders the concept of the "Wal-Mart Wolverine" doesn't exist.  And if such a demographic existed, it couldn't afford to go to games.  (On the other hand, let's not trash the filthy rich too much.  Part of the reason Michigan is so damn good at everything is because it has a lot of rich alums.)

3. As we speak DB is trying to find a sponsor for what he left behind, so the answer is "yes."

4. He's headed back in there right now with a new magazine to read that he paid like $900,000 for, so let's see.

5. FUCK NO.

6. Kitty corner.

ST3

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:02 PM ^

I give him my right arm to gnaw on (I'm a lefty) and then I poke him in the eyes, three stooges style. That would work, I'm pretty sure.

MLaw06

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:08 PM ^

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?

YES.  BUT IT COULD HAPPEN THE OTHER WAY AROUND TOO.

2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?

THE ONES WHO SHOP AT WALMART.

3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?

POOP

4. Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?

DON'T GIVE UP ON GOOD LOOKING FOR PERFECT.

5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?

NO CASH, BUT GIVE THEM A BETTER STIPEND.

6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?

KITTY

 

DealerCamel

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:08 PM ^

First off, I own a pet direwolf, so any cheetah would have that to reckon with.

Second off, everyone knows that the Michigan Image cannot be harmed, as the university is the paragon of perfection and anyone who says otherwise must obviously be somewhat slow.

Third, I would gladly welcome Brady Hoke to my bathroom, as my golden horseshoe collection needs expanding; I would invite Dave Brandon for the same reason, but only out of curiosity.

Fourth, you don't need to pay players if everyone's already a communist.

And finally, it's neither a kitty corner nor a cat corner - it's a camel corner, but nobody I mention this to seems to believe me.

bronxblue

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:20 PM ^

1. Absolutely.  

2. Tooth-farmers.  Because that's gross.  Also, I've never had a problem pointing to really successful alumni and saying "yeah, running Twitter totally sucks!"

3. He wouldn't be able to pee, what with that noodle watching me.

4.  I'd give it 15 minutes and then remember that he's only just now getting to the "bulk" of his doody.  Give him another year to really work it out.

5. The better question would be "Are you willing to pay football/basketball players if it means coaching salaries will still skyrocket and money will continue to be wasted on 'marketing' and they'll drop programs to keep those gravy trains running?"  I've seen nothing to make me think that major programs will struggle to give a little money to athletes generating a good deal of it.

6. Kitty corner.  Catty corner is for weirdos.

MadMatt

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:32 PM ^

1.  Who cares?

2. It depends.  Did the molar-challenged fan do something to embarass the entire fan base, like stalking a recruit, poisoning a rival's trees, or shooting another Michigan fan who was insufficiently inconsolable after a big loss?  Did the stock-owning alumnus close down your employer and ship your job off to the Third World?

3. It is not worth my time to try to figure out WTF that means to know whether I care.  BTW, it's not looking good.

4. Ditto.

5. Title IX, discuss.  Any proposal to pay players in "revenue sports" that fails to mention how Title IX affects your proposal is like asking which star system your would colonize first without explaining where the faster than light drive is coming from.

6. See 3 & 4.

Blerg

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:49 PM ^

This man took on a leopard and won, and by won I mean he didn't die a horrible horrible death at the paws of this leopard. A cheetah is child's play!

GoBlueGoWings

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:51 PM ^

If the man has a loaded gun

tooth farmer. they are the ones that talk the most smack.

it will be coming out of his mouth (like the South Park episode)

he will talk a good game, point to see what he did and then... basketball is coming

no

kitty

MGoBender

May 23rd, 2014 at 5:59 PM ^

 

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?


I'm betting yes.


2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?


The former.  Not because of their hillbilly looks, but because of their insistance to call into talk radio and represent our University with complete ignorance.  /michiganarrogance'd


3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?


Who are you kidding, Dave Brandon doesn't poop.


4.  Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom.  Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?


Complete mediocrity.


5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?

 

Absolutely not.  Otherwise, get rid of college athletics and dissassociate it from my school.

 

6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?


Kitty-corner.


 

gbdub

May 23rd, 2014 at 6:15 PM ^

1. Could? Yes. Would? Probably not

2. Neither. But the lightly toothed farmer is usually more fun to sit next to at the game.

3. Both.

4. Brady Hoke poops maize. Lots and lots of maize.

5. I reject the premise. Take money out of the palatial facilities and coach/admin salaries and you could have both. Or just let the players sell their image, which costs you nothing.

6. What the hell is catty corner?

drewz05

May 23rd, 2014 at 6:16 PM ^

1)  Yes, it's happened before.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDTaH0n8bmU

2)  What do West Virginian's have to do with Michigan?  Oh wait, is this a RichRod question? Was I just tricked?

3)  Michigan Wolverines toilet paper now for sale at your local Walmart!

4)  What exactly is it that you think happens in a bathroom?

5)  Yes, I have no problem cutting sports that don't even make enough to cover the costs of the sport, nevermind the free educations they give away with it.

6)  Kitty Corner (Of course, I'm not from Michigan, so I have no idea about the answer to this one.)

sadeto

May 23rd, 2014 at 6:44 PM ^

It's "catercorner" and it has nothing to do with cats.

Please clarify, is Hoke wearing a headset in the bathroom? And is he in there WITH Brandon? 

Darker Blue

May 23rd, 2014 at 6:50 PM ^

1. 3

2. B

3. I forgot what the questions were? 

4. The Tigers Are on 

5 . There was sometihng about a pussy in the OP? 

6. I really want fish for dinner

7. +1

MadMonkey

May 23rd, 2014 at 7:06 PM ^

  1. Cheetah aka Cheeta could flat-out lay waste to any adult male homo sapien; including that pussy Tarzan
  2. What's the difference?  They are both slaves to a failing consumerist economic model which will soon devolve into global Malthusian hell (to be followed by the rise of the Apes. I'm looking at you, Heston)
  3. Potpourri, I am not a savage
  4. It smells like teen spirit -- a bit funky.  Like Axe body wash and lube.  Weird.
  5. I am happy to pay performance bonuses if it means someone will block this year.
  6. We are talking about pussy, right?

HELLE

May 23rd, 2014 at 7:33 PM ^

1. yes

2. lightly toothed farm dwellers

3. shit (I think that's a good thing)

4. willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time

5. no

6. kitty corner

wlubd

May 23rd, 2014 at 8:00 PM ^

1. Depends. Does the adult have a tomahawk on their person?

2. The latter. Nobody that matters cares about the "Walmart Wolverine" thing. Alums wandering around Walmart yelling DOWN IN FRONT at people in the line is much more concerning.

3. A shitty marketing opportunity.

4. I'm alarmed at how easy people are gaining access to my bathroom without my knowledge.

5. Nope. Prefer allowing student-athletes access to agents and the ability to profit from likeness. The Manziel's would manage to get paid and non-revenue sports wouldn't die.

6. What weird-ass place says catty corner?

m1jjb00

May 23rd, 2014 at 8:23 PM ^

1. Only with something bigger than a .22 and the Cheetah knows that capping someone below the knee means you're not getting an attempted murder charge.

2. Depends on who's doing the judging.  If it's a rich guy, then the first; if it's a flower child the second.

3. Pretty sure his stuff doesnt stink

4.  Pretty sure Brady would blow it up.

5. I don't pay them b/c there'd be less for the rest of us.

6. Kitty corner unless I'm trying to impress someone.

ilah17

May 23rd, 2014 at 8:28 PM ^

1. Could a full grown adult cheetah kill a full grown adult man?



Yes



2. Which demographic harms the Michigan image more; lightly toothed farm dwellers who purchase their faux #16 jersey t-shirt at Walmart, or the stuffy old alumni that own Walmart stock?



The former



3. Dave Brandon just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like shit or does it smell like a marketing opportunity?



I'm hoping he just peed. We aren't close enough friends for him to take a dump at my house.



4. Brady Hoke just visited your bathroom. Does it smell like mediocrity, or are you willing to withhold judgement until he visits your bathroom one more time?



Withholding judgment.



5. Do you pay football and basketball players if it means that programs like track and field, water polo, etc. wil suffer, and possibly cease to exist?



No



6. And because I moved away from Michigan, and apparently people outside of Michigan look at you like you have a third ear attached to your forehead when you say it... kitty corner or catty corner?



Kitty corner

JTrain

May 23rd, 2014 at 8:42 PM ^

1). I saw a cat fend off a pit bull attacking a little boy earlier this week on tv so I'm taking the cat. No doubt about it.