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OT: Best Trash Talk Lines

61 posts / 0 new
Topic locked
Last post
February 10th, 2010 at 11:50 PM
#1
Hard Gay
Hard Gay's picture
Joined: 10/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1072
OT: Best Trash Talk Lines

Alright. My IM inner-tube water polo team is thru to the semis. I play goalie and every time I reject some fool's shot (which is 100% of the time) I say a one-liner of trash talk just to get in their heads and lift the spirits of my teammates. You know, stuff like "THIS IS A BRICK WALL" and "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT SHOT" and random stupid stuff. After two playoff games and enough shots on goal, I'm starting to reuse some lines and they're losing effectiveness. So MGoNerds, come up with some good lines for this MGoAthlete so that I can psychologically break down the other team. I smell an MVP trophy coming my way.

Brady...Hoooooooke!

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February 10th, 2010 at 11:52 PM | Denied! (Score:1)
aaamichfan
aaamichfan's picture
Joined: 10/23/2009
MGoPoints: 14217

Denied!

February 11th, 2010 at 12:23 AM | Or after a sweet block (Score:1)
maizenblue92
maizenblue92's picture
Joined: 01/01/2009
MGoPoints: 3669

"Man, get that weak shit outta here!"

"I tried to but a pencil in the light socket but it was too wide and didn't fit so I used a paperclip."-Terrelle Pryor, Future Rhodes Scholar

February 11th, 2010 at 3:09 PM | Variation (Score:1)
Eyebrowse
Eyebrowse's picture
Joined: 07/06/2009
MGoPoints: 1388

Weak shit = weaksauce. I've always enjoyed the weaksauce more than weak shit.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:00 AM | I could have been your Dad ..... (Score:1)
bringthewood
bringthewood's picture
Joined: 09/07/2009
MGoPoints: 444

I could have been your Dad if I'd beaten that bulldog across the street

"I knew Bo Schembechler and you sir, are no Bo Schembechler!"

February 11th, 2010 at 12:00 AM | you can give the Mutumbo (Score:1)
MGoPHILLY
Joined: 04/16/2009
MGoPoints: 1919

you can give the Mutumbo finger wag

February 11th, 2010 at 12:01 AM | You the punk, bitch. (Score:1)
rick55
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: 46

Now get out mah face, for i run yo ass over with my motacycle.

That one always works wonders for me.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:01 AM | Whenever I play IM, I scream (Score:1)
BlockM
BlockM's picture
Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 25313

Whenever I play IM, I scream "INTIMIDAAATIONNNNNN!" a lot. If you say it enough, it makes it true.

@pnbloem | Ultra-MGoBoard

February 11th, 2010 at 12:05 AM | maybe: (Score:1)
MichiganAggie
MichiganAggie's picture
Joined: 11/10/2008
MGoPoints: 640

"You'll have better luck trying to score with your sister"

February 11th, 2010 at 12:08 AM | *"I had better luck scoring (Score:1)
ShockFX
ShockFX's picture
Joined: 07/16/2008
MGoPoints: 3959

*"I had better luck scoring with your sister."

February 11th, 2010 at 3:12 AM | This. (Score:1)
Hard Gay
Hard Gay's picture
Joined: 10/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1072

This is exactly what i was looking for. Now i'm ashamed that i couldn't come up with it.

Brady...Hoooooooke!

February 11th, 2010 at 12:05 AM | In the words of Demar Dorsey (Score:1)
solo dolo
solo dolo's picture
Joined: 02/03/2010
MGoPoints: 848

In the words of Demar Dorsey

"no fly zone!"

"I think Hoke has changed the tide on the rivalry. Hell people in Ohio are starting to believe him. Never in a million years I would have thought that. Selling Michigan jerseys is a good start."

February 11th, 2010 at 12:10 AM | Mike Hart can tell you: (Score:1)
sedieso
Joined: 09/12/2008
MGoPoints: 526
February 11th, 2010 at 12:12 AM | All I know (Score:1)
Tshimanga Cowabunga
Tshimanga Cowabunga's picture
Joined: 08/09/2009
MGoPoints: 818

is I'd score on you every time. Nobody shuts me down in innertube Water Polo

February 11th, 2010 at 12:12 AM | BEN WALLACE! (Score:1)
antoo
antoo's picture
Joined: 01/30/2009
MGoPoints: 1424

BEN WALLACE!

"If they ever catch me, they can have 'em."

February 11th, 2010 at 10:43 AM | "BOOM WALLACED" (Score:1)
wolverine1987
wolverine1987's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 2928

"BOOM WALLACED"

"Everyone gets dumped Gabe. Let me give you some advice: a little coverup on your Adams Apple will make it appear smaller. Which will make you appear less like a transvestite." 

February 11th, 2010 at 12:17 AM | --- (Score:1)
Maize_and_Drew
Maize_and_Drew's picture
Joined: 08/11/2009
MGoPoints: 1622

You're a load that should have been swallowed.

Flush twice - it's a long way to Columbus.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:29 AM | super devastating line (Score:1)
jimgoblue
Joined: 01/31/2010
MGoPoints: 3

your mom's a terrible cook

i <3 michigan

February 11th, 2010 at 12:29 AM | Did your mama... (Score:1)
maiznbob
maiznbob's picture
Joined: 01/24/2010
MGoPoints: 163

have any children?
have any children with an IQ over 1?
know you're out tonight?
bath you before you came here?
say you could do dat?
pack your trunks?
give you lessons?
blow your tube?
let you score?
play goalie?
Tonight's Top Ten - Did Your Mama

"If this was an isocracy, you'd be in charge just like me." AIFM

February 11th, 2010 at 12:53 AM | I hear your mom's going out (Score:1)
steve89lx
steve89lx's picture
Joined: 09/27/2009
MGoPoints: 0

I hear your mom's going out with......SQUEAK

Edit: Much better if used during the shot

February 11th, 2010 at 1:14 AM | Steve Perry! (Score:1)
Tshimanga Cowabunga
Tshimanga Cowabunga's picture
Joined: 08/09/2009
MGoPoints: 818

Steeeevvveee Perry

February 11th, 2010 at 12:34 AM | when my brother an i play IM (Score:1)
umichzach
umichzach's picture
Joined: 07/01/2009
MGoPoints: 422

when my brother an i play IM we just scream/yell. mix it up with some low gutturals and then add in something different like a banshee shriek. it scares the shit out of people especially when they aren't expecting it.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:39 AM | If somebody isn't watching (Score:1)
KinesiologyNerd
KinesiologyNerd's picture
Joined: 02/10/2009
MGoPoints: 5974

If somebody isn't watching their elbows in beer pong swat it away and say "NO EASY BUCKETS!"

I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:49 AM | (No subject) (Score:1)
Bacari's World
Bacari&#039;s World's picture
Joined: 02/16/2009
MGoPoints: 1879
February 11th, 2010 at 12:55 AM | e-pinion (Score:1)
pontoon
pontoon's picture
Joined: 07/10/2008
MGoPoints: 785

I play goalie in ice hockey and I like to call the other team hosers but most of the time I won't say anything. I like to let my game speak for itself then when they get pissed or slam their stick against the ice you just smile and laugh at them. Seems to work for me.

February 11th, 2010 at 8:34 AM | Hosers or Cake Eaters never (Score:1)
bobobrazil
bobobrazil's picture
Joined: 12/10/2009
MGoPoints: 77

Hoser or Cake Eater never fails.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:56 AM | Right before he shoots yell (Score:1)
Fat Mike
Fat Mike's picture
Joined: 11/10/2009
MGoPoints: 438

Right before he shoots yell "Steve Perry!"

“The blue in our ribbons may fade, our trophies may become tarnished, the gleam of our medals lose luster, but the emotional experiences of joy and elation will never be forgotten.”

February 11th, 2010 at 1:07 AM | Bring your ipod and some (Score:1)
UMxWolverines
UMxWolverines's picture
Joined: 03/01/2009
MGoPoints: 5246

Bring your ipod and some speakers, play temptation, then have your teammates do the goalie-sieve chant they do at hockey games!

"Ohio is like a giant turd that Michigan just can't pinch off"

February 12th, 2010 at 5:32 PM | BONESAW! (Score:1)
scottcha
scottcha's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 100

"BONESAW IS READY!"

"HEY FREAKSHOW, YOU'RE GOIN' NOWHERE!"

February 11th, 2010 at 1:35 AM | I will..... (Score:1)
TomVH
Joined: 10/21/2008
MGoPoints: 16633

I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.

Tom VanHaaren I TomVH on Twitter I U Recruit I  Email

February 11th, 2010 at 1:53 AM | ... (Score:1)
bosox1519
bosox1519's picture
Joined: 03/18/2009
MGoPoints: 261

"Don't bring that cool aid to a gin party"

February 11th, 2010 at 2:00 AM | Your mother is a whore and (Score:1)
nightavenger
nightavenger's picture
Joined: 04/05/2009
MGoPoints: 55

Your mother is a whore and your father smells of elderberries!

February 11th, 2010 at 2:09 AM | try this??? (Score:1)
jaggs
jaggs's picture
Joined: 02/03/2009
MGoPoints: 2442
February 11th, 2010 at 2:18 AM | Non Hazardous Solid Waste (Score:1)
Rescue_Dawn
Rescue_Dawn's picture
Joined: 07/30/2009
MGoPoints: 4199

Non Hazardous Solid Waste is usually land filled or incinerated.

My self-esteem is directly related to my MgoPoints.

February 11th, 2010 at 3:08 AM | BAAAAAAAAP! or Uh, (Score:1)
QVIST
QVIST's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 695

BAAAAAAAAP!

or

UH, son!

or

"All sissies goin' to hell!"

February 11th, 2010 at 3:17 AM | Just don't pull on the goal (Score:1)
Shaqsquatch
Shaqsquatch's picture
Joined: 04/08/2009
MGoPoints: 3302

Just don't pull on the goal or jump in your tube! What team do you play on? I manage a team as well as coordinate the sport, haha.

February 11th, 2010 at 3:40 AM | actually (Score:1)
Hard Gay
Hard Gay's picture
Joined: 10/01/2008
MGoPoints: 1072

strangely enough, i don't know our team name. I played for the first time the last game of the regular season, and now i'm starting goalie.

can you coordinate us some favored calls?

Brady...Hoooooooke!

February 11th, 2010 at 3:47 AM | OOOHH (Score:1)
HAIL-YEA
Joined: 07/15/2009
MGoPoints: 1010

man I hope your girl didn't just see that

and

If I were you I would just get outta the pool

How can you kill that which has no life

February 11th, 2010 at 5:28 AM | This is slightly unrelated, (Score:1)
Magnus
Magnus's picture
Joined: 07/17/2008
MGoPoints: 27472

This is slightly unrelated, but I remember a story about John Randle, the old Vikings defensive lineman.

Mike Wahle, an offensive lineman for the Packers at the time, was playing against Randle. As they were lining up for one play, Randle just started chanting, "BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE."

Apparently Wahle was nicknamed "Beagle" in high school, but the nickname wore off and nobody used it anymore. Wahle had no idea how Randle knew that his nickname used to be Beagle.

Twitter - Recruiting Update: May 20

February 11th, 2010 at 1:08 PM | I was reading an article on (Score:1)
stankoniaks
stankoniaks's picture
Joined: 02/04/2009
MGoPoints: 1728

I was reading an article on Randle after he got inducted into the HOF. Apparently he would read the other team's media guide or do research on the players he was going up against in order to trash talk them.

February 11th, 2010 at 8:57 AM | As a former IM sport supervisor (Score:1)
Wolverine In Exile
Wolverine In Exile's picture
Joined: 11/08/2008
MGoPoints: 2147

I've heard my share of smack, but never a lot in inner tube water polo. Best line I heard in inner tube water polo was in a sorority final: "Good thing you're wearing waterproof make-up bitch, 'cause I'll make you cry"

Broomball was the best though... "Go put your moonboots on, get on the short bus, and get the fuck off my ice."

"So I come out of Ohio Stadium after we beat the Buckeyes, and right there on the hood of my friend's car, some one took a dump, in the shape of an 'O'. no shit. Oh, sorry, bad pun."

February 11th, 2010 at 9:09 AM | The best part of you must (Score:1)
MWW6T7
MWW6T7's picture
Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 1669

The best part of you must have ran down your daddy's leg

And

Your mother could have done us all a favor and swallowed!

"Tequila on the reg, chicks on the reg, fashions on the reg.  Living the life most men can only dream of" - Kenny Powers

February 11th, 2010 at 9:26 AM | This is my house..... (Score:1)
Bosch
Bosch's picture
Joined: 04/03/2009
MGoPoints: 4277

and I didn't invite you in.

All right Lemmings. Bring the heat.

February 11th, 2010 at 10:08 AM | Heard this at Yost, many moons ago. (Score:1)
Dave
Dave's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 79

It was after an LSSU player had rifled a shot into the stands and smacked a little girl in the face. The game was paused, the medics were attending, and the place was as quiet as I've ever heard it. Then someone roars out:

"Hey! Number XX! I hope you have better aim with your girlfriend!"

Place went crazy.

"I know where you're at, man. You had it all, and now it's gone. It's torn a hole in your soul bigger than my Escalade. So you turned to the drugs, the alcohol. Pornography, free-basing with OJ, human trafficking, dog fights / orgies ... darkness."

February 11th, 2010 at 10:09 AM | Take a Lesson from Bart Scott (Score:1)
IBleedMaizeNBlue
IBleedMaizeNBlue's picture
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 121

This is the most hilarious trash talking article I've read. Two highlights:

"He drew Cowher’s ire for calling him the Tick, a superhero with a super-size chin."

"Scott went so hard after Ryan Fitzpatrick last season when he quarterbacked the Bengals that Scott said Houshmandzadeh and Chad Ochocinco pleaded with him to stop."

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/sports/football/20jets.html

February 11th, 2010 at 10:41 AM | Say... (Score:1)
WindyCityBlue
Joined: 07/23/2008
MGoPoints: 501

...Fuck you with an AIDS dick!

February 11th, 2010 at 11:38 AM | I like to use lines from (Score:1)
Still in AA
Joined: 08/07/2009
MGoPoints: 808

I like to use lines from tombstone:

"I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'"

"You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all."

"Maybe _______ just isn't your game. I know: let's have a spelling contest."

Let's eat Grandpa.

February 11th, 2010 at 11:56 AM | One in basketball... (Score:1)
ggoodness56
ggoodness56's picture
Joined: 04/06/2009
MGoPoints: 1103

When a guy runs at you full speed when you are elevating to take a shot is just the classic one liner, "Dick in Yo Mouth!"
This would shut down games in college.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:06 PM | "Sack Lunch!" (Score:1)
Still in AA
Joined: 08/07/2009
MGoPoints: 808

works as well.

Let's eat Grandpa.

February 11th, 2010 at 12:00 PM | Man's game! (Score:1)
jsquigg
jsquigg's picture
Joined: 09/06/2009
MGoPoints: 1116

Man's game!

Hail to the Victors!

February 11th, 2010 at 12:04 PM | "get over here" "finish (Score:1)
ronmexico
ronmexico's picture
Joined: 11/19/2008
MGoPoints: 453

"get over here"
"finish him"
"flawless victory"
"whats the matta Dylan, the CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"
"Thank you Mario, but the princess is in another castle!"
"You're an inspiration for birth control."
"Thanks for playing Space Quest IV. As usual, you've been a real pantload!"
"all your base belong to us"

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