OT: Alligators Are Sensitive

Submitted by jonesie022 on
Hadn't seen this tidbit of pure gold posted here yet. http://www.moron.com/man-mocks-alligators-jumps-in-water-and-is-killed-…- If you can get through this portion of the story with a straight face then CHEERS to you because you are more mature than I... "There are numerous “No Swimming Alligators” signs posted around the bayou. Woodward even ignored several verbal warnings before saying “f**k the alligators” then removing his shorts, taking his billfold from his pockets, yelling “cannonball!!” and cannonballing into the water." The real question is: WWHD? (What would Harbaugh do?)

Don

July 6th, 2015 at 9:40 AM ^

CALAIS, Maine (AP) — A 22-year-old man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, killing him instantly, authorities said Sunday.

Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend's home in eastern Maine, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety.

Staples, 22, of Calais, a small city on the Canadian border, placed a reloadable fireworks mortar tube on his head and told his friends he was going to light it, McCausland said. But his friends urged him to stop.

"Apparently, he thought that was a great idea," McCausland said. "His friends they thought dissuaded him from doing it, and the next thing they knew, he ignited the fireworks and he was killed instantly."

Staples's brother Cody told the Daily News of New York that he was a few feet away when his brother lit the firework and was the first to come to his side after it exploded.

"There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there," said 25-year-old Cody Staples, who called it an accident.

"Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid. He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh," he said.

http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_28435918/police-man-shoots-of…

Everyone Murders

July 6th, 2015 at 9:49 AM ^

It's a tragic loss of life for senseless reasons.  No doubt about it.

I'll say this, though.  The young man most definitely did not die of lung cancer and I, for one, applaud his decision to continue smoking cigarettes. 

KRK

July 6th, 2015 at 10:13 AM ^

I yell "f@&k the alligators" all the time before I jump into water that has warning signs all around. Of course, I live in Washington state and those signs say "please recycle" but ain't no gator messed with me yet. F@&k 'em



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TheCool

July 6th, 2015 at 10:24 AM ^

Well, it's sad when people die in accidents or situations they couldn't change, but when a person does something ridiculously stupid, tests the fates and dies it's hilarious. Hopefully he doesn't have kids, but if he does they might be better off without an idiot father. There are over 7.3 billion people on this planet, many starving and living in deplorable situations, and this guy essentially killing himself is sad? Lol.

gwkrlghl

July 6th, 2015 at 10:42 AM ^

Without sounding too insensitive, I'm struggling to feel bad for this guy at all. Sign warning of the danger, verbal warning of danger, then declaring "F*ck the alligators" as you leap in? That is impressively stupid.

Thanks for making the human race stronger bro.

Honk if Ufer M…

July 6th, 2015 at 11:14 AM ^

While he was obviously a fool he did make the best "everyone should cary a gun and we'd all be safer" argument I've ever heard before he went:

Woodward pleaded for help “somebody shoot this thing! It’s eating me!”

It's kind of incredible that among several witnesses in Texas that nobody had a gun or wasn't willing to use it!

The only question is what would've gotten him first that way, the gator or the gun?

Also, not to be too harsh on the guy or anything, but I didn't hear an apology in there anywhere, maybe he should've started there when he realized his error?

In all seriousness though that's got to be one of most incredible things a human being has ever said! Being eaten by an alligator and still being alive and fully aware of what's happening to you and talking about to someone as it's happening? It's fucking unbelievable that it happened and unbelievable to have gone through regardless of how predictable it might have been! What must he have been thinking and feeling in those last moments? Jesus fucking Christ!