OT - Alaskans Know Their Wolverines

Does Wolverine Ditka have a bratwurst lodged in the lining of his heart?

Human Ditka decides that it wouldn't be fair to shoot Wolverine Ditka, so he only swings at Wolverine Ditka with his rifle butt.  Wolverine Ditka is far more agile in the snow than Human Ditka (who doesn't even have snow shoes), and he grabs the rifle and rips it in two.  Wolverine Ditka then sinks his powerful jaws into Human Ditka's right arm and severs it.  Human Ditka is not done fighting, though, as he picks up his arm uses it to bludgeon Wolverine Ditka, who cannot help but respect Human Ditka's fortitude.

An hour later the two are exhausted and covered in blood.  Human Ditka has been badly bitten, and Wolverine Ditka is covered in bruises and cuts from being hit with Human Ditka's severed right arm, which, over the course of the hour, Human Ditka stripped of its flesh and fashioned into a spear.   At this point an eight foot tall man appears on the mountain and says, "Hey Ditka, are we going to eat dinner or what?"

Both Human and Wolverine Ditka turn to answer the man - Bill Brasky - and realize that they share the bond of being named Ditka.   Now aware that they are that special breed of being called Ditkas, they drop their guards and embrace (though Human Ditka has some trouble with this, as he has only one arm and has lost most of his blood).  Exhausted, they walk with Bill Brasky back to his cabin, where they eat Paul Bunyan's Ox, Babe, who Bill has soaked in moon shine and roasted over a giant fire.