Does anyone else think Al Borges is the type of guy who orders a salad to be "healthy" and then just douses it in Ranch dressing and bacon bits?
to play football, not to play trumpet
That's so funny. Your username is exactly what I exasperatedly uttered upon reading your post.
I did the exact same thing just reading the title.
Ugh, we need to get the voting working again.
OMG, you are totally so right! I knew there was something fishy about him!
This likely affects his ability to diagram plays, what with the ranch dressing spilled all over. I bet he even gets bacon bits lodged in the projector so he can't watch film.
It's not easy being Gorgeous. I think the OP should step off.
Worst. Post. Ever.
Edit, upvoting your own shitty post doesn't make it better.
It is hard to argue with the OP's content. He must have been thinking about this ever since Coach Borges was hired.
Considering the OP's handle, this is the most appropriate image I think could be mustered under the circumstances.
So THAT's the joke!
This is pretty comical. I lol'd.
I don't think he knows what a salad is, actually. Probably just thinks that shit is what people put on burgers and is confused as to why there is so much burger topping at the buffet.
so you are saying he is an american?
My bad. My first cat picture posting no longer works. Oh well, probably for the best.
the cats always win buddy.
I bet he gorges.
for even clicking on this post. I should have expected something like this.
Or a "confidential" report from a waiter who served him something unhealthy but doesn't want to say exactly what it was for fear of losing his job.
Ranch and bacon are encouraged on a salad. So there.
Someone must fill the "fat coach" joke void left behind by the firing of Charlie Weis.
I find this really funny.
Why does everyone take themselves so damn seriously? The fact that I was negged 26 points or whatever the running total is at now for making this joke is unbelievable. Everyone needs to lighten up. The man loves ranch dressing. I didn't think that was a major point of contention.
Because the post, and the poster, was stupid and added nothing to mgo.
The post and the poster ARE stupid and add nothing to mgo. If you're going to try and insult me and call me stupid at least use proper grammar. Go back to Wyoming.
you're omnipotent and clairvoyant and you didn't see this coming?
General rule of thumb: If you're going to make a joke, make sure it's funny. Because this is the result when it isn't.
The Hokeamaniacs don't wish to laugh at things because football is about tough and aggressive not laugh.
I agree with you, the commenters on this board have lost it.
How is this an example that people on this board have lost it? Regardless of who the coach is and how people feel about him, this post is stupid. There is no humor or cleverness or anything of value in this post. Your negative vibe is getting pretty annoying
Just let him be a miserable schmuck. His life is so hard! He's a junior in college!
You are a fucking retard. You know so little about me it's stupid.
I'm not a junior in college. I haven't been for a number of years.
Go back to your MLive shanty.
Being 20 would make your posts sort of understandable. Entitled and selfish, but almost expected. Instead you just come across as sad and angry. No one buys the "this is just a joke" line from you. Everyone knows your attitude on Hoke. You're secretly hoping the program crashes (further) into flames, just so you can run here and say you were right.
And no, I don't know anything about you. Judging by your actions, I'll consider that a positive.
You should really think twice about everything you think you know about me and my attitude. I don't have to explain myself to a random poster, but I don't hope the program fails so I can come on a website and claim I was right. That is the stupidest thing I can think of right now. In all probability I won't be coming to this site at all as I will have a job that will actually take up most of time with, you know, meaningful work. I come here now to express my opinions about the program because I have a lot of extra time with my current position and some of you are so fucking stupid you can't take a differing opinion than your own and degenerate to personal attacks. That is the action of a 6 year old. It really is.
Consider whatever you want, but first I would consider trying to allow your tiny brain to allow for a differing opinion without turning into a fucking child.
Is this your Bouje/McFarlin ad hominem filled meltdown for the week?
You tell him personal attacks are the action of a 6 year old after you call him fucking stupid? Pot meet kettle.
I thought 2008 was your freshman year?
Think of it as a riddle. What has a freshmen year in 2008 and hasn't had a junior year in a number of years?
or someone who dropped out of college after his Freshman or Sophomore year.
Dude, it's a joke. It's funny. This board is like a moron in the audience of a comedy show that sits there and says "that's not funny."
Get over yourselves. Al Borges is fat as fuck. It's funny. Shit Hoke is fat as fuck too. We have the stay-puft marshmallow coaching staff of the B1G.
It may be (mildly?) funny to you but obviously most people don't think it's funny enough to justify it's own thread. The negs have nothing to do with Hoke. If anyone's defensive it's probably because the thread is gratuitous and autofellating. The OP is actually shocked SHOCKED people aren't recognizing his genius and slapping him five for creating a thread for a joke that's as trite as it is juvenile. I'd seriously prefer threads created for yo momma jokes.
Really? Because there are so many wonderful topics to cover lately? We wouldn't want to clog up the board so we can make room for the 1,000th offer thread for some kid who will show us no interest whatsoever... in case you haven't noticed it's the fucking off-season. There is a basketball game tomorrow, but other than that and hockey updates there is nearly nothing to fill up the board. It was a fucking joke. I thought it was funny. Deal with it.
It's basically like (mgo) Jesus Christ is a professional comic and I don't think his routine is funny. Oh my God what is my problem???? I really ought to deal with this seriously.
How do you know he likes ranch dressing? You are jumping to conclusions. He might not even eat salads.
You should be thanking your father that the negs are disabled.
You totally forgot to end this with "Amirite?".
I thought some of my posts sucked!
Personally, Borges can look like Jabba the Hut and roll around the Big House on a throne carried by scout teamers if he can establish a decent run game and score some points, as far as I am concerned.
Who doesn't like Ranch dressing and bacon? I would take a bath in that shit right now if I had enough in the fridge to fill up the tub.
I once had poison ivy all over my body and a bath in ranch would have felt amazing.
Mark Mangino (Old U of Kansas coach) used to just slice up a live pig "Apocalypse Now" style and eat it. If he wanted ranch dressing, he used bull semen. And if he got thirsty, he just went right to the cow's teat and drank from the tap....
While I admit it adds nothing to mgo, I did find myself amused. And hey, it can always be worse than salad dressing...
I've resisted posting a response to you in the past but have noticed that a number of your posts have been less than worthwhile. I guess everyone has a different sense of humor, and it is off season, so you've got that going for you.
Having said that, your username is in phenomenal bad taste. It isn't worth being offended, so I haven't allowed myself to be offended, but I really don't understand you. There are some guys who get off on being offensive jerks. Movie Maker Michael Moore seems to be one. You are another. I don't know if you are a troll, but your M.O. isn't cute or amusing.
FYI, Jesus Christ had a better sense of humor than you do. He irritated many people, to the point they killed him, but he had has reasons. What are yours?
BTW, many jerks and bullies, when they are called on the carpet for their jerkdom, say something like "lighten up . . . it was just a joke." Saying "lighten up" doesn't give you a pass. You would have already learned this if the voting privileges were activitated.
As has already been said above, at least be witty or funny if you're going to joke. Jokes that aren't usually funny here:
Moderators, please restore voting privileges to the masses, and thereby allow us to self-police. Or, if that isn't possible, take a more active role in applying the banhammer.
is struggling. I can't imagine what April and may are going to be like.
I'm glad to now know what is allowed to be joked about and what isn't. If I'm not mistaken people have had plenty of fun poking fun at overweight coaches in the past [via Mangino, Weis, Crennel, etc.] but as soon as we have a fat coach (who for that matter hasn't even coached a game) we can't poke fun at ourselves. You need to grow up and understand that humor is completely subjective and that while you personally may not find some of the things I post funny, others do. I'm sorry you weren't amused by this irreverent post, I really am - as pleasing you was my M.O. I'm so sorry.
who are these people that find your posts funny? If your OP is any indication, you're a tool.
There are a mixture of people who find it "hilarious" and others who are deeply offended by the reality that our offensive coordinator is obese. You being a part of the latter.
I really don't think it has anything to do with offending people, but the fact that it was pointless, not funny and just a waste of space on the board. It was a good effort though.
Hope you don't mind me giving you a middle initial to help differentiate you from the original.
I can't speak for anyone but myself here, but usually, most derisive humor is directed toward opponents or people who have otherwise aroused the ire of Michigan fans in general or the posters in particular. Making "fat jokes" at the expense of a Michigan coach is never going to go over well here.
I really don't see how someone with your rapier wit and keen intellect didn't figure that out already. It's even more inexplicable that you would try to defend your position instead of just learning from experience, giving yourself a new username, and posting like someone who cheers for Michigan on a regular basis.
If you really need a target for "fat jokes," might I suggest Justin Boren?
Mary Sue Coleman stumbling upon Coach Borges dressed as Ethyl Merman, caught in an embrace with a female Asian-American Scientologist who had been making him a salad in Fishbone's kitchen is a no-go?
So Elton John, the Pope, Jesse Jackson, and Mary Sue Coleman walk into the Old Shillelagh where Al Borges is eating his favorite Rachael Ray cuisine....
until you came with the you not minding Detroit jokes. I guess it's cool to slam the "thin-skinned" SE Michigan residents as opposed the super sensitive religious peeps.
Thanks for clearing that up. I had a whole "What would Jesus do" topic ready to go.
The list you compiled could be used for the best kind of jokes. You sound like someone who farts in a wine glass and smells it (SouthPark). Get over yourself and this "Everything has to be PC" business. People like you are the reason tag and dodgeball have been banned.
After reading Mr. Kass's post, I now want more than ever, Michael Moore to make a movie about Jesus Christ. The reaction from people alone would be something not soon forgotten.
How surprising StephenRKass has "woman in the kitchen jokes" on his list at number 4. You have got to be the most whipped man alive, take the ball and chain off of you're genitals. If you can't handle a bunch of guys joking around about woman in the kitchen then you have a terrible sense of humor. Lighten up Francis.
Now, go make me a sandwich. I would ask your wife but I wouldn't want to offend you.
-Needlessly provocative username? Check.
-Aggressively unfunny OP? Check.
-Obligatory "Lighten up guys" responses? Check.
It's a hat trick!
Does anyone else think Jesus Christ should not start a thread predicated on a joke? If it's funny put it in a thread. Also, emphasis on if.
I, for one, found this post hilarious. First +1 I've handed out in ages.
This thread with all the responses is 5 times more funny than the OP hands down.
Who are the brave souls who are going to step up and claim these manly, exciting, and above all, provocative handles?
• Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Rosa Parks
• Ted Bundy
• John Wayne Gacy
• Richard Speck
• Charles Whitman
• Jeffrey Dahmer (or his soul mate, Idi Amin)
• Adolf Hitler
• Heinrich Himmler
• Adolf Eichmann
• Pol Pot
• Josef Stalin
• Hutu Machete Guy
Of course, this list barely scratches the surface—history offers so many more choices of the saintly and the satanic! And the best thing is, regardless of how inane, uninformed, or just plain dumb your comment or post is, you'll get noticed—because you're that Hutu Machete Guy! Or Allah!
...showing your tits.
I'm waiting for Barack Obama and Sarah Palin to show up (Raback didn't quite go all the way). Because there are at least 2 more people unoriginal enough to need that type of attention.
It's like a boring person getting a large tattoo accross their chest/back/face/scrotum - this thing will not provide you, nor stand in stead of, actual personality. Except to the dull-minded. Also, like a troll in that it's seeking reaction solely for the sake of reaction.
I blame the parents. If you name your child Hutu Machete Guy, you've pretty much sealed his fate as a machete-wielding madman. It's like naming your daughter "Porsche," "Candy" or "Destiny"... she WILL become a stripper.
Why do so many people respond to a post like this?
...same reason you just did?
Y'all need to move on. It was a joke that some found funny, and some didn't. Just like every other joke ever made in the history of the world.
The responses to the post are way the hell more popular than the post itself. But you need to move on from them. You obviously don't find them funny, but others do.
And if you don't like the responses to things you post, don't post.
I find everyone's reaction to this hilarious. Shockingly stupid, but hilarious. Al Borges definitely chooses Blue Cheese or Ranch Dressing when the waiter asks him what type of dressing he'd like on his side salad. That is a fact. You don't get to be that fat eating balsamic vinaigrette, that's just the God's honest truth. You just don't.
What's wrong with a salad with bacon bits and ranch dressing?
Negged for the self up vote.