COLUMBUS, OH-- The Ohio State University have chosen to embrace this latest chapter in their rich history of deflecting the guilt of wrongdoing, and have elected to carry this over into the school's primary athletic marks. Sources within the Athletic Department feel that the time is right to wear this reputation with pride both on the field and off, and are confident that if this is in fact the wrong decision, they will still be able to avoid taking any blame with some carefully worded legal prose.
And so, without further ado, The Ohio State University proudly unveils its new branding identity:
There is further talk of retiring the 'Brutus the Buckeye' mascot identity in favor of a feeble Catholic school nun who carries a soft, padded ruler, but no official timeline has been released at this time. GO SLAPPERS!