Open letter to Jim Harbaugh

Submitted by 1464 on

Jim,

I know that you scour these message boards in your spare time.  You were probably expecting a long winded and overly dramatic essay to woo you to come to Michigan.  That's what these open letters tend to be.

But I'm not going to do that.

Jim, I want you to look at these puppies:

 

 

Jim, if you don't come to Michigan, I'm going to turn these puppies into a fur coat.  

Now ask yourself... are you the kind of person that will allow that to happen?  I hope not, Jim.  I hope not.

MGoBoard
Football
puppies
Harbaugh

Salinger

December 4th, 2014 at 12:31 PM ^

Dear Jim,

Come to Michigan. Or don't. But please, do.

Love,

Everyone (except that faction that doesn't want you... no one knows who these people are. They keep their names a secret for obvious reasons)

Joined: 01/11/2011

MGoPoints: 5409

1464

December 4th, 2014 at 12:49 PM ^

I'd scale back both those assertions.  I found it mildly humorous, still do.  And I'm not getting negged to high hell over it, so obviously it is not as tone deaf as you represent either.  I felt like posting it, so I posted it.  I guess that it is simply not your cup of tea. 

Joined: 06/21/2010

MGoPoints: 37173

Danwillhor

December 4th, 2014 at 12:58 PM ^

people need to relax. I laughed really hard probably because I have a "no sacred cow" sense of humor but more because we're all crazy uptight about one dude. I day keep it, own it & don't apologize.

Joined: 12/02/2008

MGoPoints: 8609

Mr. Yost

December 4th, 2014 at 1:59 PM ^

Not because the threat is funny or the OP is a comedian. In fact, as an animal lover, it's a little "eeeh, not cool bro."

HOWEVA.

It's funny because if you know MGoBlog and those stupid Open Letters people write and REALLY, TRULY mean. This is an AWESOME parody. 

Because at least half the people in this thread clicked to go "Dude, STFU!" "He'll never read this!" or just "BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Those folks had to chuckle when they saw the joke.

So for those complaining, just move on...you don't get it. It wasn't what was written that was supposed to be the joke. If you thought so, well, that's why you didn't laugh.

Joined: 07/25/2011

MGoPoints: -9898220

NelzQ

December 4th, 2014 at 1:09 PM ^

Dear Jim Harbaugh,

 

Think about it. You're better than Bo was. Better than any coach this school, your school, has ever known.

20 years from now, it should be you being lauded as the best college football coach, ever. With the resources at your disposal and your ability to evaluate and develop talent, you already know you can build a band of bullies. There won't be an ass in college football that you can't kick through the uprights.

You'll end up the winningest coach ever at Michigan. You will live forever. In endless replays of your team's accomplishments.

The stage is set. It's perfect.

Come home.

Take care of your own.

You are in the cat bird seat.

Choose Michigan. Upgrade recruiting and academics. Set revenue records. Become the legend that you are destined to become.

Mend the fences. Unite the family. Awaken the sleeping giant.

You were born for this day.

Fulfill your destiny.

Go Blue.

Joined: 09/17/2012

MGoPoints: 562

NelzQ

December 4th, 2014 at 1:09 PM ^

Dear Jim Harbaugh,

 

Think about it. You're better than Bo was. Better than any coach this school, your school, has ever known.

20 years from now, it should be you being lauded as the best college football coach, ever. With the resources at your disposal and your ability to evaluate and develop talent, you already know you can build a band of bullies. There won't be an ass in college football that you can't kick through the uprights.

You'll end up the winningest coach ever at Michigan. You will live forever. In endless replays of your team's accomplishments.

The stage is set. It's perfect.

Come home.

Take care of your own.

You are in the cat bird seat.

Choose Michigan. Upgrade recruiting and academics. Set revenue records. Become the legend that you are destined to become.

Mend the fences. Unite the family. Awaken the sleeping giant.

You were born for this day.

Fulfill your destiny.

Go Blue.

Joined: 09/17/2012

MGoPoints: 562

diag squirrel

December 4th, 2014 at 1:53 PM ^

Why don't some rich alums take out a full page ad in the Chronicle? e.g. "Come home, Jim. -University of Michigan"

Full page ad is maybe $20k. Peanuts compared to the $6M-8M we'd have to pay Jim per year.

Joined: 12/03/2014

MGoPoints: -99952

Danwillhor

December 4th, 2014 at 2:04 PM ^

This hasn't happened. Really. I'm surprised that a group of big money alums haven't been doing it on the regular. Every other week you have a new design with the first being an old picture of Jim & Bo together with some Bo-isms. Then a general "come home" with a side by side of our record since Jim's Freshman year, etc. I mean REALLY go after his heart lol. Remind him that if Bo were alive he'd "have walked from the Bay Area", etc.

Joined: 12/02/2008

MGoPoints: 8609

Danwillhor

December 4th, 2014 at 2:14 PM ^

I was mostly joking above but it just hit me that the hireharbaugh site has raised about $20k. It's insane but ask the donors (assuming they get refunded) if they'd be willing to part with their donation for a full page ad in SF. Make it Super Nostalia Bomb levels as proposed above. Even if he doesn't see it directly it will be on the news, people will show it to him, etc. I'm really stunned this hasn't happened. No longer kidding.

Joined: 12/02/2008

MGoPoints: 8609

egrfree2rhyme

December 4th, 2014 at 7:04 PM ^

The only thing I can think of is that maybe there's already contact with Harbaugh and things are looking good (and the sort of people who would throw down the money for that are in the know), so the strategy is to keep things on the DL and not draw more public attention to our pursuit of Harbaugh since things are already looking good.  One can only hope.

Joined: 08/21/2012

MGoPoints: 2238

Danwillhor

December 4th, 2014 at 8:03 PM ^

and one has to hope that is the case (the laying low in general). I'm just surprised this didn't happen months ago and doesn't happen more in coaching searches. You take a rabid fanbase with cash, a guy they want and you'd think this sort of thing not only would have been done before (it likely has to a degree) but ALL THE TIME. You'd think SEC folk would do this sort of thing for their school and other programs countering with negative ads to keep them from landing their guy. I'm surprised it hasn't reached political commercial/media levels, ha. **this ad paid for by the Texans for Saban committee**

Joined: 12/02/2008

MGoPoints: 8609

Jim Harbaugh

December 4th, 2014 at 2:09 PM ^

I really do want to come home, but my wife loves in and out burgers too much.

 

Edit:

On second thought, I'll take some of that $8 mill and build one next to the stadium. Then we all win.

Joined: 10/30/2014

MGoPoints: 6678

The_Mad Hatter

December 4th, 2014 at 2:09 PM ^

come home, or we're putting wolverines in your house.  And car.  And office.  Dozens of them.  Actual live wolverines.  You'll never know how many there are, or if you've got them all out.

You could be taking a shower one morning, and BAM, snarling wolverine in there with you.

Just something to think about.

Joined: 12/01/2014

MGoPoints: 5945