copacetic

September 23rd, 2016 at 4:34 PM ^

 

“Watching you guys carry on like this is extremely sad and, frankly, totally embarrassing to the rest of us. We really hope you seek out counseling or therapy, because you’ve clearly got some issues.”

 

“You need help—professional help,” Rowland added. “All of you.”

Reached for comment, the Penn State community responded to the nation by shouting “S-T-A-T-E! Go! State!”

 

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LSAClassOf2000

September 23rd, 2016 at 4:59 PM ^

Americans went on to say that it would take an extremely sick and troubled mind to read the findings in the Freeh Report and then somehow disagree with Paterno’s immediate firing, while furthermore still believing in restoring his 111 victories confiscated by the NCAA.

I've been saying this for a long time, but the Onion definitely said it better here than anyone has to my knowledge, and the whole article is gold, pure gold.

Well done, Onion.

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MGoPoints: 130561

Marvin

September 23rd, 2016 at 5:06 PM ^

I know of people with PhDs from Penn State -- otherwise politically savvy, responsible, highly functioning adults who for whatever reason believe that Joe Paterno's legacy should not be tarnished by his affiliation with Jerry Sandusky. It boggles my mind. And his name is all over that campus. It really does cast a pallor over everything there. 

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FrankMurphy

September 23rd, 2016 at 6:35 PM ^

Someone really needs to perform a detailed psychoanalysis of that fan base. I know otherwise sensible, intelligent, articulate Penn State alumni who, whenever the subject of Joe Paterno or the Sandusky scandal comes up, retreat into this alternate universe where the near-universal scorn of Joe Paterno and Penn State's handling of that episode (universal outside of Central Pennsylvania, anyway) is the product of a conspiracy/witch hunt against Penn State borne out of jealousy over Joe Paterno's accomplishments. They really, genuinely seem to believe this. It's totally bizarre. 

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drzoidburg

September 24th, 2016 at 3:08 AM ^

i don't think so, it's just their religion/nationalism would Michigan alums react different if god forbid that happened here? Probably, i like to think so, but that's because we have lives other than football, not being trapped in State College I feel like this is why places like Nebraska and always draw 90k to games - nothing else to do there

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BluByYou

September 24th, 2016 at 7:12 AM ^

indictment of the fans/alumni blind support of their team.  On a much lesser scale, did OSU abandon Jim Tressel?  Would they have even if he was in the same spot as Paterno?  I can't believe that could have gone on at UM.

On Sandusky, if he had raped girls, how long would he have lasted?  Would Paterno turn a blind eye to that?  Was  it a lesser offense to rape boys?

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Bo Glue

September 23rd, 2016 at 5:12 PM ^

 


If your immediate response to the thought of Joe Paterno is anything other than ‘Forget what he did as a football coach; that guy is a despicable human being, and I never want to see or hear that piece of shit’s name anywhere on the Penn State campus ever again,’ then you’ve totally lost your grasp of right and wrong

 

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dipshit moron

September 23rd, 2016 at 5:22 PM ^

the psu fan base are the worst at making fun of jim harbaugh, calling into question his character and basically questioning his motives as a human being.

   i guess it makes them feel better to show someone else in a bad light, but they should be the last ones to go on witch hunts when bad things really went on there.

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WolverineHistorian

September 23rd, 2016 at 5:45 PM ^

Something tells me that POS Scott Paterno will now file a lawsuit against the Onion for, oh who knows...defamation of character?

"Not once in those 40 years did my father know what Sandusky was doing because when he wasn't coaching practices, he was away reading to blind orphans."



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Lee Everett

September 23rd, 2016 at 6:12 PM ^

One of the rare instances where you genuinely cannot make this up.  The truth of the matter is ironic by itself.

I had *some* sympathy while Bill O'Brien was there and they seemed interested in healing from top to bottom and inside and out, but they've taken several steps back since.  

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FrankMurphy

September 23rd, 2016 at 7:31 PM ^

He didn't expressly mention the cult, but he definitely alluded to it:

"You can print this: you can print that I don’t really give a [expletive] what the ‘Paterno people’ think about what I do with this program... For any 'Paterno person’ to have any objection to what I’m doing, it makes me wanna put my fist through this windshield right now... That’s why, in probably about a month, they’re gonna be [expletive] looking for a new coach."

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