I started watching the women’s hockey gold game and also got dragged into other events. You know - the whole “control issue” thing and “why do we always have to watch what you want to watch” whine. So I peeled back the duct tape wrapped around the remote and my hand and she flipped it back and forth:
How did the US get all these medals in skiing? Even cross-country skiing? Even Nordic-Combined? Did the levees break and finally take out all of Scandinavia? We never used to win medals in this stuff. Do the Norwegians focus only on Arctic Cod fishing now?
Glad to see that the Canadian women came out after the ceremony and stoked up and power drinking - going all Slap Shot. The Lamoureux sisters should have skated out with Buddy Holly glasses on a started a fight. At least they keep their sport traditions alive. I say bring back chew in baseball and sacking the quarterback in the NFL.
And what’s with all the crying in sports these days? The entire US women’s hockey team was going Tim Tebow. I believe this trend was started by Cindy Crosby in the 08 Stanley Cup. There’s no crying in hockey!
The Asians are miniaturizing figure skating now too. Weren’t happy with just tiny Kia cars and microchips. Dorothy Hamill looks gantor compared to these girls. You should be able to drive yourself to the arena to be allowed to compete. Where will it end? Is some Russian coach currently Indiana-Jonesing through the jungle looking for pigmy tribes? So the pigmy skater can go all Yoda on everyone’s Dooku? “A six-flip quintuple lutz - and she lands it! With a lightsaber!”
I like the whole Jan Brady impersonation that Julia Mancuso is performing. Lindsey! Lindsey! Lindsey!
Someone needs to make a poor man’s version of curling. I gather each granite rock is around $1000. I think a cinderblock with Pam spray and some O-Cedar brooms might work.