Oh Great and Mighty Pimp Hand, lift up these wretched masses

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January 8th, 2011 at 7:33 PM
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iawolve
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Joined: 11/03/2008
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Oh Great and Mighty Pimp Hand, lift up these wretched masses

 

 And Saint Brandon raised the Pimp Hand up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy Pimp Hand that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu…er, wait a second, I guess we needed the Hand Grenade in this instance instead of just the Hand.

 

While I have gone on record in more than a few threads defending the Great and Mighty Pimp Hand (GMPH), rationalizing that there must be a grand plan in place behind its mysterious doings, my faith is unfortunately wavering. My bad on this one, I own it. Maybe the GMPH actually had Harbaugh locked up and was victim to the most vicious head fake in the history of sports. Unfortunately GMPH, those instances are then typically captured on posters for all to stare at the poor bastard on the receiving end of the aforementioned fake. That is where you are right now.

Unfortunately, while I can very easily see how JH > RR, I struggle to see how (RR+DC+$) < BH or LM when it is this late in the year. Maybe I am just not good at math anymore or maybe the GMPH simply gambles like a mofo, I am not sure which. However, from the outside, this just looks like we jumped out of the airplane without a parachute, giving a big thumbs up and smile on the way down as we winnow down a surprisingly (I mean really surprising) short list of available candidates. Maybe Hoke is a great coach, but as EDSBS stated “then that replacement is Brady Hoke, Blink, Blink, Blink”. This does not sound like the results of anything with “Great and Mighty” in its name.

Well Pimp Hand, you have so far proved me wrong in regards to our coaching search/evaluation. I sincerely hope your luck returns and you prove me wrong again about where we really are in this search process. I would gladly admit my bad many times over in this instance. We need something to finally break our way so get your mojo back dammit.

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January 8th, 2011 at 7:36 PM | Have to believe he has something big in the works (Score:1)
PurpleStuff
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That or our athletic director is a complete fuck-up.  I'm willing to believe he isn't for at least a few more days.

It is spelled HOKEAMANIA.  Our coach is an ass-kicking American citizen, not one of the Beatles, for Christ's sake!

January 8th, 2011 at 7:41 PM | Is Les Miles "big" enough (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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Not to be a complete or partial fuck-up?

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

January 8th, 2011 at 7:59 PM | No. (Score:1)
Shaqsquatch
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No.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:00 PM | I think so (Score:1)
PurpleStuff
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But I also don't see it happening.  I just get the feeling the athletic department isn't interested even if he would be willing to leave.

It is spelled HOKEAMANIA.  Our coach is an ass-kicking American citizen, not one of the Beatles, for Christ's sake!

January 8th, 2011 at 7:41 PM | Same here.  And with each (Score:1)
mGrowOld
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Same here.  And with each passing day the likelyhood of a masterplan unfolding diminishes and the reality of complete disaster increases.

 

 

January 8th, 2011 at 7:43 PM | This looks strange familiar... (Score:1)
Gameboy
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So far 2010 version of coaching search is going exactly like the one in 2007 with not being able to sign the "golden boy" and various high profile names dropping like flies.

So, if this is just like 2007, who is the 2010 version of RichRod? Who is the most high profile coach with some axe to grind against his own AD/President?

January 8th, 2011 at 7:48 PM | Great point (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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For all those guys "he would never come here", Rich was the same thing back then. Maybe we just need a list of all the best coaches, go down them, and see who's the most pissed off.

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

January 8th, 2011 at 7:59 PM | I heard from a VERY reliable (Score:1)
mGrowOld
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I heard from a VERY reliable source that Bob Stoops does NOT like his new parking spot  at all.

Might be something we can leverage.

 

 

January 8th, 2011 at 8:49 PM | Really? (Score:1)
M-Wolverine
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I hear Chip Kelly has always been an Adidas man at heart...

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

January 8th, 2011 at 7:43 PM | I'm tired of this pimp hand (Score:1)
West Texas Blue
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I'm tired of this pimp hand bullshit.  Dave Brandon has shown himself to not be a good AD.  Good CEO - yes.  AD - terrible.  This coaching search has turned into a clusterfuck.   DB puts all his eggs into the Harbaugh basket and Jimmy spurned us and now it's Jan 8th with less than 30 days away from NLOI and we have no coach and we are fucked. 

January 8th, 2011 at 8:00 PM | I agree that the "pimp hand" (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
MGoPoints: 28969

I agree that the "pimp hand" stuff was annoying, but it's also too early to write the man off.  Things are too up in the air right now.  I'd give him a grade of incomplete.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:18 PM | Where does Rich Rodriguez (Score:1)
Run 2 Daylight
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Where does Rich Rodriguez land on that scale? 

Go Blue!

January 8th, 2011 at 8:27 PM | 10 months into his tenure, he (Score:1)
jmblue
Joined: 11/07/2008
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10 months into his tenure, he would have received an incomplete grade as well.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:28 PM | Enough of the pimp hand crap (Score:1)
kb
Joined: 10/31/2009
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First of all, he hasn't shown us anything that he is anywhere near competent other than being "CEO of Dominoes". Second, it's kind of sick and twisted.

January 8th, 2011 at 9:55 PM | Well, his handling of the (Score:1)
aaamichfan
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Well, his handling of the situation with the NCAA was nearly perfect. I think we'd look a lot worse if Bill Martin oversaw the entire thing.

Just because you don't have the stomach to wait this situation out, it doesn't mean Brandon is currently screwing the pooch.

January 8th, 2011 at 10:21 PM | I'm certain that (Score:1)
kb
Joined: 10/31/2009
MGoPoints: 1428

Brandon wasn't the only person handling the NCAA violations, so let's not pile on credit when there were clearly many other university officials handling it as well (e.g., MSC, who has more experience dealing with these issues).  The only person getting pimped right now is Brandon because he thinks anyone and everyone has the desire and wants to come to Michigan to coach, when in fact that is not the case.  Fact is, he doesn't have the pick of the litter any more.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:51 PM | I'm not sure anyone has any (Score:1)
Marshmallow
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I'm not sure anyone has any evidence he is a good CEO either.  All we know is that he was one who left for the Michigan A.D. job.  Today's Domino's Pizza is a product that speaks for itself and it sucks.

January 8th, 2011 at 7:46 PM | Just in from Twitter... (Score:1)
Firstbase
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...We're getting Coach Fox!!!

January 8th, 2011 at 7:47 PM | Is it Sunday morning already? (Score:1)
BlizzardOfOz
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Is it Sunday morning already?

January 8th, 2011 at 7:48 PM | He doesn't deserve a (Score:1)
Captain Obvious
Joined: 03/17/2009
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nickname that implies that he has any power or knows what the fuck he's doing.

January 8th, 2011 at 7:53 PM | I thoroughly enjoyed... (Score:1)
ItsGreatToBe
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@iawolve: Your dissection of DB's decision-making vis-a-vis his experience in LBO situations was, IMO, a great assessment.

 

IIRC, in that synopsis (sorry, I didn't have the time to refer back to it), you mentioned announcing a crucial decision at the right time.  Given Brandon's goals as they relate to the athletic program, what are your thoughts about him having a lock on a coach when he made his comments about Harbaugh going to the NFL, et al. at the presser?  Was that all window-dressing to hold off criticism while scrambling to come up with Plans D, E and F?  Or was it posturing, knowing that having five days to ink a deal and bring in the hire to the UM-KU basketball game would be about the right-est of times to make an announcement?

 

Maybe you don't have an opinion either way, but knowing Brandon's work with Domino's, his work with the Regents, and his work under Bo, I refuse to believe that he was caught with his pants down on this one.

 

Guess we'll all know once we see the new hire...

January 8th, 2011 at 8:04 PM | Timing (Score:1)
PurpleStuff
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Even if Brandon has something up his sleeve (please, God) I doubt he wanted to announce before all the Harbaugh stuff blew over.  Too many people wanted JH for us to go in another direction until he was officially off the board.  Hopefully now we'll get some news in the next day or two.

I look forward to seeing Jon Gruden putting on a nunchuck and bo staff display during the halftime show at Crisler tomorrow.

It is spelled HOKEAMANIA.  Our coach is an ass-kicking American citizen, not one of the Beatles, for Christ's sake!

January 8th, 2011 at 8:06 PM | But where's... (Score:1)
ItsGreatToBe
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...the liger?

January 8th, 2011 at 8:25 PM | Gruden will ride it into the building (Score:1)
PurpleStuff
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Then it will eat Bill Self.

It is spelled HOKEAMANIA.  Our coach is an ass-kicking American citizen, not one of the Beatles, for Christ's sake!

January 8th, 2011 at 8:12 PM | I agree (Score:1)
WFBlue
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we only have a few days to wait to either confirm he screwed the pooch, or that he pulled a rabbit out of his ass.    Since there is essentially a complete info lock-down (other than twitter of course), we know nothing at this point.  We will very shortly, one way or the other.

 
 

Time is working funny again. Greg Mattison has a phonebooth time machine he sent the secondary back to Charles Woodson's childhood in; they have emerged with ZZ Top beards, children, and skills.-BC

January 8th, 2011 at 8:15 PM | He missed the big "no surprises" and by that I mean the bad ones (Score:1)
iawolve
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I simply have no idea at this point. The most worrisome was this demeanor at the presser. He was not himself and I doubt it was due to having to fire someone, he would have had to do that too many times already in his career. My guess is that he was caught a little flat footed by a guy that "he knows and has talked to many times" who may/may not made some statements that Brandon took for a stronger commitment than what it was.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:21 PM | Yeah, his demeanor was, well, (Score:1)
ItsGreatToBe
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Yeah, his demeanor was, well, interesting.  I couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh and bust out the GMPH and demean the unknowing minions, or cry and curl up in the corner with his blankey.

 

Thanks for the thoughts (and level-headed posts).

January 8th, 2011 at 8:04 PM | I'll wait to see who is hired (Score:1)
AnthonyThomas
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I'll wait to see who is hired and how the team progresses over the next few years. People seem to only be thinking of recruiting when talking about this change. While recruiting is important, this class was never meant to be a huge one. A good hire in the next couple of days should easily fill out the twenty or so total spots in the next month. We may not get the players we wanted but that's a fairly useless gauge of recruit's success. I'm glad Brandon has patience and clear headedness and that he didn't just hand the job to Brady Hoke or Miles (I wouldn't mind Miles, but he isn't a very creative hire).

January 8th, 2011 at 8:23 PM | Brandon's patience? (Score:1)
seattleblue
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DB may very well have already handed the job to Brady Hoke or Miles

January 8th, 2011 at 8:05 PM | Unfortunately, while I can (Score:1)
jmblue
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Unfortunately, while I can very easily see how JH > RR, I struggle to see how (RR+DC+$) < BH or LM when it is this late in the year.

RR could not be retained after the bowl game.  His base of support was gone.  Now, you can argue that Brandon should have been better prepared for that contingency; right now that may turn out to be a problem. 

January 8th, 2011 at 8:05 PM | DB needs to consult the ultimate pimp (Score:1)
SanFrancisco_Wo...
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I guess we'll see how man Boondocks fans read this board!

Formerly akron_wolverine and columbus_wolverine.  New home, new name.  A year in Columbus was enough.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:07 PM | His pimp hand is attached to (Score:1)
dennisblundon
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His pimp hand is attached to a limp wrist at this point. He needs to come up big and fast. No matter how it shakes out I am of the opinion he has already fucked this up. Right now is huge for recruiting the life blood of any program and we don't even have a coaching staff out there rounding up a class. His delay is a failure.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:17 PM | honest question (Score:1)
WFBlue
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other than keeping RR, what should he have done differently based on what we know now.  If it turns out he has been sitting on his ass without any conversations, etc, I agree complete negligence.  But we don't know that yet.  Should he have made a CC before the bowl game?

 
 

Time is working funny again. Greg Mattison has a phonebooth time machine he sent the secondary back to Charles Woodson's childhood in; they have emerged with ZZ Top beards, children, and skills.-BC

January 8th, 2011 at 8:25 PM | The bowl game didn't help (Score:1)
dennisblundon
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The bowl game didn't help RR's case but he had to know he was going to fire him prior to this. One game doesn't do you in. I would liked for him to had a coach in waiting to make the transition a little more smoothe and keep recruits from straying.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:28 PM | i suspect that he thought he did (Score:1)
WFBlue
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but alas  ...49ers.

 
 

Time is working funny again. Greg Mattison has a phonebooth time machine he sent the secondary back to Charles Woodson's childhood in; they have emerged with ZZ Top beards, children, and skills.-BC

January 8th, 2011 at 9:31 PM | Totally agree (Score:1)
macdaddy
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But who satisfies the "big and fast" criteria? There isn't a single name being tossed around out there that gives me the tingles. All eggs were in the JH basket and now it's gone.

January 8th, 2011 at 8:14 PM | Now is a great time to take the Michigan coaching job... (Score:1)
Brightside
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Now that it is clearly a rebuilding process, and has hopefully started up from the bottom, this is a great situation for a new coach to step into.

Remember that we didn't know how bad the decay had been until after RR took over.  Then we started to see how much work was needed to build this back up.

RR came in with an expectation of 10 wins a year...  and empty cupboards to a large extent.

*** This line intentionally left blank ***

January 8th, 2011 at 8:22 PM | It's hilarious that this (Score:1)
Run 2 Daylight
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It's hilarious that this board makes fun of how much Fred Jackson hypes up players while stuff like "THE PIMP HAND" and "THE BARWIS EFFECT" are still alive and thriving here.

Go Blue!

January 8th, 2011 at 8:25 PM | Rumors of Brandon's pimp hand (Score:1)
SFBlue
Joined: 11/02/2009
MGoPoints: 3117

Rumors of Brandon's pimp hand have been greatly exaggerated...  I am holding out hope for this search, but since he's been here it's been corporate slash and burn and monetization: downsize some AD positions, fire highest paid executive, open up Big House for corporate events and weddings. 

Missing Ann Arbor

January 8th, 2011 at 9:10 PM | Even if he has totally (Score:1)
BluePants
Joined: 12/27/2009
MGoPoints: 737

Even if he has totally screwed the coaching search (and I think he has unless he gets LM/JG), he has to get some "Pimp Hand" credit for how watertight the AD has been.  There have been no leaks whatsoever.  It's simultaneously infuriating and impressive.

M '11

January 8th, 2011 at 9:34 PM | This is the only pimp hand i want to see right now. (Score:1)
jabberwock
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Love & Hate are horns on the same goat.

January 8th, 2011 at 9:44 PM | Returning to Our Roots (Score:1)
BlueHills
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Coach? We don't need no stinkin' coach.

We're going to party like it's 1879!

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