To be honest, my greatest expectation in any M football season is that we beat MSU. As the ubiquitous enemy, a loss to these troglodytes is particularly painful. It is the one time each year that waiters, stock clerks, and police officers (I am not using hyperbole here) can thumb their noses at us. Now that we have lost in horrific fashion, we need, as a group, to devise rebuttals to Monday morning Sparty ( a new breed around here) that will help them to understand their rightful place in the socioeconomic hierarchy in this great state. Suggestions should follow.
Need Help Dealing With Monday Morning Sparty
Sig Sauer P226 9mm with 15-shot clip. Just wear it in an open shoulder holster. No need to brandish it. That will be all you need to say.
I prefer the Glock 27 .40S&W with the extended clip for my pinky. But hey, to each his own.
I thought the whole point of this was to differentiate ourselves from annoying State fans.
that's probably something unexpected and classy. Don't feed into Sparty just be classy and congratulate those guys. You never want to be Meltdown Guy. Or oh yeah well my GPA was . 3.xxx Guy or just for that I'm going to fire you and your Dad Guy
Tell 'em to Super Size it and then wait for your order.
Seriously, just remember that college football is cyclical and this is the first extended downtime for UM in decades. They'll still have a good season, and tell any Spartan fans to focus on their team and you'll focus on your own.
There is a way to win and there is a way to lose. Congratulate them on their win, acknowledge that beating Michigan 3 times in a row is a great accomplishment (which is a compliment to UM too) and get on with your day. They have a good team this year and an easy schedule. This might be the only year in those fans' lifetimes that they see an MSU b10 championship or rose bowl appearance.
Let them have their day, we've had ours and will have ours again and again. Whining, making excuses and reminding them about U of chicago having more b10 titles than them will do nothing but make it worse. You know and they know that you're better than them, nothing needs to be said.
...avoiding use of the word "trollop" in any interactions with said secretary or other co-workers.
Just take it like a man. They do deserve it, but once we get rolling, we will get our share of shoving it down their throats.
My strategy for the week is to sit tight and hope they celebrate by holding up a 7-11 with a BB gun. The way Sparty goes these days, it's not such a long shot.
go with "67-31-5" and make them wonder heat the hell your talking about for the rest of the day.
Call in sick.............all week.
If the Sparty starts acting all crazy just indicate how cool it would be for them to go to their first Rose Bowl since 1988.
If it's a woman punch her in the ovaries.
Seriously, they're Sparties they deserve it
to burn a couch about it.
Take it like a man. Congratulate them on a great game. They didn't win by playing dirty, they won by making plays. Don't be an asshole, let them take care of that.
a Spartan fan tries to talk trash to me all I do is write down 1997 and hand it to them. I don't explain it or defend it. I merely just go back to whatever I was doing.
Doesn't work with Ohio State fans for obvious reasons but for Spartans they will either bring up basketball or leave...
just came as I payed a bet to a sparty. The bet was a 6 pack of beer and a hat of choice. (MSU hat for him) I gave him 6 assorted beers from fridge (natty lite, natty lite, and 4 natty lites) and i gave him 2 dollars (1 single and 4 quarters) as he was leaing realized he locked his keys in the car, I made him wait outside.
Honestly, I have found that most MSU fans bring it up for the sole reason of tormenting you. The easiest and most logical way to handle it is to just show that it doesn't torment you. For example, this was a series of text messages I exchanged with a Spartan fan:
"Haha, you guys are so big headed thinking you can actually win. Denard sucks, who's little brother now?"
"Hey man, yeah you guys played great, I give a lot of kudos to Dantonio and those RB's, man they ran hard. Great game from you guys."
"Oh, yeah, thanks."
The End. I could have argued back and forth and brought up the all time record, etc. But that would just be an instigator for more trash talk. Take the high road, congratulate them on the win, and you're "tormenting" will be over quickly once they realize it doesn't bother you. Trust me. I'm 3-0 right now using this method and I only had to endure the initial statement with no continual idiotic banter.
EDIT: 4-0. Kill them with kindness. It probably gets to them more than they let on.
Yeah they really actually hate that I am convinced. Take the persona of being way too focused on Michigan and the rise of their program to get too worried about any one game.
"Yeah good game today. Give your team a world of credit. Now next week, Iowa is going to be great test for the program and where it is at. Looking forward to seeing how Michigan bounces back."
Don't acknowledge any special sense of defeat losing to them and shift the conversation away from their team and the game. It pisses them off.
Remember this, the ones who are running their mouths the most, know the least about football. They see uniforms running around and this is the only game they watch all the way through. Mostly it is their excuse to party. They aren't actually qualified to talk football anyways.
or kill them with a shovel. your call.
That is a classic Doug/Arthur moment. See ketchup argument as well.
haha, as is the always classic doug/danny water purification licenses meltdown. probably the greatest tv meltdown ever.
Acknowledge that Michigan's defense has been suspect all season and Michigan State, to their credit, took advantage of that. They called a strong offensive game plan that exploited the weaknesses they saw on tape and that's what good teams do. We'll play it again next year.
I'd just let this knowledge dictate your internal energy: We'll be back. As for today, a couple plays here and there and they are the ones all down in the dumps tonight.
If you keep that in mind, you won't meltdown, and you'll be indifferent to all the talk. Unless you choose to find a cave to hole up in, you'll have to deal with them. So best to practice healthy habits of thinking.
Gonna be a long year otherwise.
Just be cool. It's easy to win with grace; losing with grace takes more character. Don't let people bait you into being the asshole who can't handle defeat.
Just knowing that Michigan is better in every way, except in the football stadium on this very day, should be enough to help you achieve a zen-like calmness.
I'd need some advice too, but strangely I have no Michigan State coworkers at my aerospace engineering job. Imagine that...
So why are you posting here? Why don't you post on your "rival's" site? Or, shock, enjoy a win against another meaningless opponent on your schedule?
I recommend avoiding the problem of trash talk by congratulating Sparty on the win and then quickly changing the subject to Bama's loss, where Boise State should be ranked, or making sure they put cheese on your burger.
See you next year.
Congratulate Sparty on the win and admit that we got outplayed.
Dont be a homer, tell them they have a pretty damn good team, and they earned the victory. But, it doenst matter what you say, you will hear about how they 'shut down' Denard for the next 365 days...
Act like you didn't watch and say you thought it was next week.
and just state the truth. "The better team won." AND MOVE ON...
While we wait for the enlightenment, just be glad you have a life where this is on your radar as something tragic.
Nobody ever went to Michigan because they got rejected for admission to MSU.
(Yeah, yeah, I know. YOU really were admitted to Michigan but CHOSE to go to MSU. About that bridge in Brooklyn...)
Finish their paperwork politely and inform them that there's a one week waiting period before filing an unemployment claim.
Just shake their hand and say good game. It's easy to be classy when you're winning. Losing with grace takes real class.
Edit: Linnaeus already said the same thing. Sorry. I'll read first next time.
Why is it that Sparty fans act like they have never beaten us before? Remind them that jealousy is an ugly emotion! I would much rather deal with a loss than deal with our elected clowns turning this country upside down.