Nebraska's Big Ten Primer

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July 20th, 2011 at 3:23 PM
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MGoShtoink
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Nebraska's Big Ten Primer

Rick Reilly writes quite a funny piece on what Nebraska can expect in the B1G.


http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/6783415/rick-reilly-nebraska-big-ten-primer

True statement:

There is a thing you'll discover called The Michigan Man. The Michigan Man believes he is above Normal Man. The Michigan Man is certain he invented the Big Ten, along with intellect, cocktails and sex.

Obviously we invented all of those.  Even our non-existant mascot is better than yours...

They're talking about having a mascot, though, which is going to ruin everything.

Yeah...

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July 20th, 2011 at 3:32 PM | That is a severely truncated (Score:5 Normal)
BlockM
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Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 25326

That is a severely truncated list of the things we've invented.

@pnbloem | Ultra-MGoBoard

July 20th, 2011 at 4:43 PM | Like Google. (Score:2 Normal)
WolvinLA2
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Joined: 11/13/2009
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Like Google.

July 20th, 2011 at 4:47 PM | Yup (Score:3 Funny)
BiSB
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Joined: 08/15/2009
MGoPoints: 28081

And the question mark.

I am being Twitters

July 20th, 2011 at 11:31 PM | Actually, that was Dr. Evil's (Score:1)
HermosaBlue
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Joined: 08/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1433

Actually, that was Dr. Evil's dad.

We invented the comma.

July 20th, 2011 at 7:33 PM | The moon   (Score:1)
Volverine
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Joined: 05/07/2011
MGoPoints: 789

The moon

University of Tom Brady, B.A. '10; University of Peyton Manning, J.D. '13.

July 20th, 2011 at 11:37 PM | Pretty close... (Score:1)
HermosaBlue
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MGoPoints: 1433

http://aas.org/node/3994

http://www.giving.umich.edu/news/current/index.php?page=081108_baldwin

Top entry: http://www.rasc.ca/honorary/index.shtml

July 20th, 2011 at 3:36 PM | I don't care about Illinois, (Score:5 Normal)
M Fanfare
Joined: 08/17/2008
MGoPoints: 1576

I don't care about Illinois, but I must point out that a big part of the reason that they averaged below 66,000 at each game last year is because their stadium capacity is 60,000.

Hail to the college whose colors we wear,

Hurrah for the Yellow and Blue!

July 20th, 2011 at 3:38 PM | True (Score:4 Normal)
Lupe Fiasco
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Joined: 04/20/2010
MGoPoints: 848

"MICHIGAN STATE
If you want to get under their skin, just go up to Michigan State fans wearing Spartans jerseys and say, "Oh, couldn't get into Michigan, huh?"
Then duck."

 

 

July 20th, 2011 at 4:02 PM | And, (Score:1)
Engin77
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2099

that's all Reilly has to say about MSU.

Taking it one week at a time

July 20th, 2011 at 6:13 PM | He also calls them a (Score:2)
Captain
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Joined: 06/12/2009
MGoPoints: 11603

He also calls them a "twinkie" at one point.

Colors That Float

July 20th, 2011 at 11:31 PM | He calls them, and everyone (Score:1)
IncognitoWolverino
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Joined: 07/08/2011
MGoPoints: 1043

He calls them, and everyone else in the Legends division (save for Iowa and Nebraska) twinkies, which I found funny.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

July 20th, 2011 at 4:07 PM | He forgot (Score:2 Normal)
Michiganguy19
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 733

Then wait for them to claim they got into MICHIGAN, but MSU was a better fit/school for them...

'Cause I Bleed Blue...

July 20th, 2011 at 3:42 PM | I saw "Rick Reilly", then (Score:3 Normal)
chitownblue2
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MGoPoints: 7077

I saw "Rick Reilly", then clicked away as quickly as possible.

wolverineliberationarmy.com/blog

July 20th, 2011 at 3:46 PM | Reilly is a hack (Score:1)
Saludo a los ve...
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Joined: 04/14/2011
MGoPoints: 6

His shtick has been old since he was writing in SI.

 

July 20th, 2011 at 4:02 PM | Hack (Score:1)
tomer
Joined: 05/10/2011
MGoPoints: 120

Perhaps, but it is still a funny little piece. Seems vaugely familiar somehow. Hm....http://mgoblog.com/diaries/nebraska-fans-who-youll-hate-big-10-and-why-0 

July 20th, 2011 at 4:36 PM | That was my thought (Score:1)
BlueMars24
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And ours was much funnier!

Those who stay will be champions

July 20th, 2011 at 5:16 PM | Of course it was, (Score:3 Normal)
NOLA Blue
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Joined: 12/15/2009
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we invented funny.

Fanatic since 1978.  Internet tough guy since 2012.

July 20th, 2011 at 5:32 PM | In Addition.... (Score:1)
LSAClassOf2000
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Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 8947

We invented "funny sex". Researchers around the country have expanded on our base findings. 

"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."

Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3

July 20th, 2011 at 4:03 PM | Ricky R (Score:1)
Michiganguy19
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 733

His style lends himself to short nice columns. The problem is he wrote every one that existed while at SI. So now he tries to be cheeky and intellectual - and it falls flat.

'Cause I Bleed Blue...

July 20th, 2011 at 4:07 PM | What about Suh? (Score:0 Normal)
July 20th, 2011 at 4:09 PM | I didn't read the article but (Score:3 Normal)
Keeeeurt
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I didn't read the article but I would assume he was referring to offensive lineman.

Me fail english thats unpossible!

July 20th, 2011 at 4:26 PM | Could be the case.  I quoted (Score:1 Normal)
dahblue
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Joined: 11/09/2009
MGoPoints: 1517

Could be the case.  I quoted the entire relevant portion though and he just says "lineman".  Anyway, it was funny enough and he gives us proper comedic respect.

July 20th, 2011 at 4:58 PM | Flamebait? (Score:-1 Flamebait)
July 20th, 2011 at 4:14 PM | The MGoBlog version that (Score:-1 Overrated)
July 20th, 2011 at 4:22 PM | Favorite Line (Score:2 Normal)
SoCalWolverine
Joined: 08/17/2010
MGoPoints: 614

You will be in the Legends division, along with Michigan and Iowa and a bunch of Twinkies.

July 20th, 2011 at 5:33 PM | Revelation (Score:1)
LSAClassOf2000
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MGoPoints: 8947

I did not know Hostess joined the Big Ten. Apparently, the conference reached out to corprate America when it created these...umm...divisions. 

"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."

Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3

July 20th, 2011 at 4:38 PM | Low Blow (Score:1)
MGoReader04
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Joined: 06/02/2011
MGoPoints: 128

"You know what might impress them, though? Your bowl record. You're 24-23 all time. You better knock that crap off. In the Big Ten, that's just showing off."

Come on now, that can't be true?  Anybody know the Big Ten's all time bowl record?  I know we are right around .500.

Also - can somebody clue me in on how to do the blockquotes? (sorry)

109,901 Seats, 351 Big Ten Championships, 116 Olympic Medalists, 44 National Championships, 26 Rhodes Scholars, 18 Puliltzer Prizes, 8 Astronauts, 3 Heisman Trophies, 1 US President, 1 Tradition of Excellence

July 20th, 2011 at 4:49 PM | The B1G website only lists up (Score:1)
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 11044

The B1G website only lists up until 2004, when the Big Ten had a record of 103-100-3 in bowls (M was 18-17).

Blockquote

  1. Switch to plain text editor and write <blockquote> </blockquote>
  2. Paste text between commands.
  3. Switch back to rich text editor.
  4. ?
  5. Profit.

"We bring you to Michigan to take care of Michigan; your job is to protect that block M."
-Carol Hutchins

July 20th, 2011 at 11:30 PM | Thanks, I was just wondering (Score:1)
IncognitoWolverino
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Joined: 07/08/2011
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Thanks, I was just wondering how to do that.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

July 21st, 2011 at 12:45 PM | Thanks! (Score:1)
MGoReader04
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Joined: 06/02/2011
MGoPoints: 128

Thank you!

109,901 Seats, 351 Big Ten Championships, 116 Olympic Medalists, 44 National Championships, 26 Rhodes Scholars, 18 Puliltzer Prizes, 8 Astronauts, 3 Heisman Trophies, 1 US President, 1 Tradition of Excellence

July 20th, 2011 at 5:28 PM | Yup (Score:2)
RedandGuilty
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Joined: 02/04/2010
MGoPoints: 2260

...and books.

July 20th, 2011 at 6:11 PM | "Buckeyes fans are usually (Score:1)
EJG
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MGoPoints: 177

"Buckeyes fans are usually very nice people."  He forget to add, "if you are a fellow Buckeye."  I can't think of any fan base who has any "like" for Buckeye fans.

Michigan is and will always be every BIG schools' 
measuring stick.

 

 

July 20th, 2011 at 11:19 PM | Exactly. I love how he has (Score:1)
althegreat23
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Joined: 05/30/2011
MGoPoints: 1241

Exactly. I love how he has more to say about Purdue then MSU.

"A Michigan Man will coach a Michigan Team"

July 21st, 2011 at 12:46 PM | Seriously (Score:1)
MGoReader04
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Joined: 06/02/2011
MGoPoints: 128

Is this guy a buckeye?  I can't imagine anyone else saying this.  Particularly in this article pretty much ripping on everything, this comment is ridiculous!

109,901 Seats, 351 Big Ten Championships, 116 Olympic Medalists, 44 National Championships, 26 Rhodes Scholars, 18 Puliltzer Prizes, 8 Astronauts, 3 Heisman Trophies, 1 US President, 1 Tradition of Excellence

July 20th, 2011 at 9:19 PM | Welcome messages from all of (Score:4 Funny)
FrankMurphy
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Joined: 08/19/2008
MGoPoints: 2527

Welcome messages to Nebraska from all of the Big Ten schools, in no particular order:

Michigan: "For the convenience of your fan base, I've removed all of the big words from our media guides, particularly in the part about our 3,241 wins during the 1800's and our 1997 National Championship."

Michigan State: "No offense, but I don't like corn because it don't burn too good. Now couches, them suckers can burn, brah!"

Indiana: "Do me a favor: send me a reminder the Thursday before our game so I remember not to get drunk the night before."

Northwestern: "When will you be requiring my lunch money? I need to know soon because I have a microbiology midterm coming up."

Iowa: "I went ahead and cleared a path in the 300 miles of corn that separates our stadiums. You're welcome."

Minnesota: "I'm glad we finally added a school from a tropical climate."

Ohio State: "Hey, Fuck you! Why? Because you're all red and shit, that's why! Go Bucks, bitches!" *smashes beer can against forehead*

Penn State: "Son, I have two pieces of advice for you: 1) these people are all assholes, and 2) stay off my lawn."

Purdue: "No, we are not located in Illinois, Goddammit."

Illinois: "No, we are not located in Chicago, Goddammit."

Wisconsin: "Make sure your fans know that there's a five beer minimum at Camp Randall. Actually, that pretty much applies to all of Madison."

July 21st, 2011 at 12:49 PM | Well played! (Score:1)
MGoReader04
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Joined: 06/02/2011
MGoPoints: 128

I liked your list a lot more than I liked Reilly's.

109,901 Seats, 351 Big Ten Championships, 116 Olympic Medalists, 44 National Championships, 26 Rhodes Scholars, 18 Puliltzer Prizes, 8 Astronauts, 3 Heisman Trophies, 1 US President, 1 Tradition of Excellence

July 20th, 2011 at 9:51 PM | Seems familiar... (Score:2)
MHNet
Joined: 09/30/2008
MGoPoints: 245

My friend wrote a column for an Indiana newspaper back on June 29 that was pretty much the same format that Reilly stole...er...used.

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