My tummy hurts. Recommend a solution.

Submitted by Frito Bandito on
According to my MeMa, Vernors and chicken noods are the way to go. However, chinese food and cheap peebs did this to me. Is water and a forced poop the answer? You tell me.

Whos Got It Be…

May 13th, 2015 at 12:47 AM ^

And very dry, almost burnt toast, which you should eat first before anything else--it'll absorb the stomach acid that's causing you pain. Trust me, I just tried this recently after some bad food and beer choices and it works every time.

chomz14

May 13th, 2015 at 4:04 AM ^

Sorry If already recommended. But I'd stay away from the Kurt Cobain documentary HBO has been airing everyday. Where apparently heroin was his source for an upset stomach. And we all
Know how that ended...

I prefer some good ole fashion Tums or pepto. You'll be shitting healthy bricks in no time.

mgoblue0970

May 13th, 2015 at 9:34 AM ^

Take some fiber supplements and drink about 2 litres of water.  In a few, your poop will slide out so easily you'll think your rectum was coated with Teflon.

Zarniwoop

May 13th, 2015 at 10:31 AM ^

You can not beat prune juice.

Constipation: prune juice

Upset Stomach due to acid: room temperature milk with an antacid tablet.

Upset Stomach due to you eating like a sabertooth in a convenience store: prune juice and 5000 gallons of water

Upset stomach due to stress: take a long, brisk walk followed by lots of water and meditation.

Upset stomach because there is a spear through it: try removing the spear by pushing it all the way through your back to avoid doing additional damage from the spearhead on removal. Then wrap the cleanest cloth you can around the wound and tighten your belt over that to the point of significant discomfort. When this is finished, stuff as much strawberry jam into your ass as possible while singing "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" exactly like Carol Channing..

 

This started as a well-intentioned post and got away from me completely.

BayWolves

May 13th, 2015 at 7:34 PM ^

Eat a plate of beans, fart in a mason jar and refrigerate for 2 hours. Drink 12 ounces of grape nehi, gargle with orange crush and then wipe steamed carrots on your head for five minutes. Retrieve mason jar from fridge and open.




Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad