Mouton - Magical Unicorn Hugger
For 5 games now we've seen Mouton take poor angles, make bad reads and whiff on arm tackles. For 5 games I've wondered if it was a deficiency in skill.
No! It has not been such! I have uncovered that Mouton actually has a unique ability to see magical invisible unicorns that the rest of us cannot. They are from a mystical realm adjacent to the Taco Pants Dimension, and they elicit such warm feelings in the chosen few who can see them -- like Mouton -- that those special humans will drop all other priorities to attempt to hug them.
Thus, the horrendous muffed arm tackle on Sparty's game winning td is explained.
I am still trying to determine what invisible mystical creatures caused Floyd to consider that same play dead and not even attempt to help in the tackle.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:32 PM ^
than to say Mouton had a bad game, and definitely needs extra work on tackling angles.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:33 PM ^
but boy he has been BAD this year. i dont think he is a bad player,he will turn it back around. I just hope its soon!
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:35 PM ^
Did you guys see the angle he took on Kirk Cousins' 41 yard run?
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:38 PM ^
not the best angle I've ever seen.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:44 PM ^
To be fair, i think he really did want to tackle Cousins, but there was a unicorn tea party exactly three yards to his left.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:53 PM ^
The angle was so bad that I actually wondered for a second whether he was intentionally throwing the game for some reason. Obviously, that can't be true. But the mere fact that the thought could enter my head is evidence of just how poor his effort was today.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:07 PM ^
The annoying thing was that he didn't have to take any angle. He could have just stood his ground and slowed up Cousins to allow the pursuit to catch up to him.
October 4th, 2009 at 10:03 AM ^
i saw it and it bothers me how there wasnt anyone else around to hit him when he turn up field.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 PM ^
that completely ran by Cousins on his 40 yard run? They showed a camera view from the endzone that Cousins was running towards after the run at it looked like Mouton was running at Cousins when he was already 20 yards past the LOS and just completely ran right past him then stopped and said "oh shit".
**edit: ^ how did I miss that post?
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:47 PM ^
I think he just sucks ass.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:00 PM ^
Chally you are right on. He not only took a poor angle but made no attempt to tackle. No unicorns fellaz, he just didn't show up on the 41 yard run or the TD...plain and simple. He was nowhere to be found today. Obi was OK and Stevie played well. Mouton had a bad game today but overall, the O-line lost this game. With Molk, I think we win.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:10 PM ^
As bad as Mouton played at times today, I think Woolfolk wins the goat award this week. As Brian has often mentioned in the UFR, he hasn't really been tested yet, and thus we don't know much about him. Well, he whiffed pretty big time in the opportunities he had today, most obviously on the last play, but on other long runs and passes, as well. Ouchie. Looking for a major negative UFR score for Troy this week. Let's hope he picks it up.
October 3rd, 2009 at 11:03 PM ^
Agreed. MSU was picking on him right out the gate and continued to do so throughout the game. He was consistently provided poor coverage, was late to the ball, and had trouble tackling. Yikes.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 PM ^
There are kids who can play football well...and athletes who try.
Mouton and Woolfolk are athletes who try but lack football instincts.
A kid like Floyd...who ignorant people here rip on is actually a better football player, but not as good of an athlete.
Until they get some fucking football players out there at LB and secondary, they will continue to struggle.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:38 PM ^
has only played in 4 games......but I guess your point still stands.
October 3rd, 2009 at 7:01 PM ^
Ah yes, I forgot to add the supreme douchebaggery of sucker-punching to Moutons resume.
October 3rd, 2009 at 9:30 PM ^
Well, the ND player did just tell Mouton that dragons rule and unicorns suck. Can't really blame him for being angry.
October 3rd, 2009 at 6:19 PM ^
Basically, it seems like once you get by Michigan's D-line, and assuming you are not a dumb a$$ and actually went away from Warren, you are playing against a well below average defensive unit. The safeties drive me nuts and the linebackers (except Brown) play at MAC-level speed of thought.
October 3rd, 2009 at 9:25 PM ^
careful, MAC level speed was enough to overcome sparty earlier.
October 4th, 2009 at 1:53 AM ^
Good point. See my general level of tweaked-ness re: the linebackers on my board post titled Hopson.