Martha Stewart officially destroys tailgating

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:34 PM
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Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 15741
Martha Stewart officially destroys tailgating

[ED:BISB - Changed title to avoid gender war, which the women would win because they have better attention spans and the ability to turn any argument into a slightly different argument that they can win]

Edit: I suppose I should clarify, becuase we have some excellent women on this board. Women that read Martha Stewart Magazine and save Good Housekeeping's for years so that they don't forget that "cute christmas wrap idea" have officially ruined tailgating. The rest of you may go about your business.

Link taken from EDSBS. http://westport.patch.com/blog_posts/the-backyard-family-tailgater-throw-a-true-southern-tailgater-for-the-whole-family

No, dammit. No, no, no, no, no. A tailgate is not a time to go all Martha Stewart. It is not a time to plan a fall afternoon of "activities". There are three activities at a tailgate. Eat, Drink and watch/listen to football while waiting for the game to start.

DAMMIT, Women! This is why we can't have nice things!

This, this is what you are envisioning.

This is not a tailgate. It is a fall dinner party. Schedule it for any day but Saturday, and we men will happily attend, make polite chatter, and then recuse ourselves to the basement/den to wath baseball or preseason NBA games while you do your prattling.

This...

Beer, chips, meat, chairs and football. LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE, DAMN YOU!

Sincerely,

Guy who had his last football Saturday ruined by a group of women who complained he wasn't "participating". I had my beer and my eyes on the TV. That is how you participate in a damned tailgate! Not by doing the friggin christmas name-draw!

</ huffiness>

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
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October 26th, 2012 at 12:37 PM | You've never actually had sex with a woman (Score:5 Normal)
jabberwock
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Joined: 07/04/2008
MGoPoints: 3529

have you?

Love & Hate are horns on the same goat.

October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM | I'm not sure (Score:5 Normal)
Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 15741

My wife might have a different opinion than I do.

I suppose I should specify that not ALL women officially ruin tailgates. Just some.

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
October 26th, 2012 at 1:04 PM | Opinion to which part (Score:5 Funny)
y2mh
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Joined: 07/25/2012
MGoPoints: 127

Opinion to which part of that statement?  That you had sex or were with a woman?    /s

October 26th, 2012 at 9:30 PM | No sex with (Score:0 Normal)
October 27th, 2012 at 2:56 AM | Let me be the first to congratulate you, Blaze! (Score:-1 Trolling)
October 26th, 2012 at 5:05 PM | Your post reminded me of that Chris Farley/ SNL skit (Score:1)
93Grad
Joined: 07/26/2011
MGoPoints: 820

but SNL makes it too hard to find their clips to embed it.

October 26th, 2012 at 12:36 PM | You are so getting coal for (Score:5 Funny)
Baldbill
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Joined: 04/09/2009
MGoPoints: 2002

You are so getting coal for Christmas.

Semper Fidelis

October 26th, 2012 at 3:30 PM | Worst joke ever. (Score:1 Normal)
CorkyCole
Joined: 06/13/2011
MGoPoints: 294

Worst joke ever.

Edit: Apparently I needed to be a bit more clear. In context, the above statement was quite comical. It's just that "coal" jokes are all too prevalent in my life. If you are confused, please refer to my username. If confusion STILL arises, Cole... coal... ha.... Why am I posting this? I do not know. Joke = funny. Moving along.

October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM | do you feel better now? (Score:4 Normal)
andrewG
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Joined: 10/20/2010
MGoPoints: 970

do you feel better now?

October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM | You are justified in your (Score:5 Normal)
urbanachiever
Joined: 01/16/2010
MGoPoints: 614

You are justified in your frustration

"I hope I can get a bunch of championships - like 15"

October 26th, 2012 at 9:34 PM | Blue ball (Score:0 Normal)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:39 PM | well (Score:1 Flamebait)
Andrew Jackson Jihad
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www.eatacheeseburger.blogspot.com Brian Cook has read this blog!

October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM | Someone should make an NHL (Score:5 Normal)
BlueBarron
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Joined: 06/21/2010
MGoPoints: 2944

Someone should make an NHL version of this captioned "In Before the Lockout"

Photography Facebook Page. Lots of Michigan sports photos. And planes, lots of planes:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Barron-Photography/13379

October 26th, 2012 at 12:40 PM | Should have gone to (Score:5 Normal)
DixieWreck
Joined: 07/31/2010
MGoPoints: 1425

Buffalo Wild Wings

October 26th, 2012 at 12:47 PM | I logged in just to upvote (Score:3 Normal)
MGoDC
Joined: 03/21/2010
MGoPoints: 2303

I logged in just to upvote this. I guarantee this is going to be the best post on this thread.

October 26th, 2012 at 9:36 PM | yes (Score:0 Normal)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:42 PM | First of all, (Score:5 Normal)
goblueattorney
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Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 412

tailgating is a whole different game down south.  

Second, as a woman, I am offended.

Third, I think with much work, we could find you a nice woman, Blazefire.  Don't give up hope.

Also, as an English major, I commend your use of "prattling".   Good one.   

 

edit:   I see you have a wife.  We can set up a support group for her.  at a tailgate.  with fine china. 

October 26th, 2012 at 12:44 PM | Clarification request (Score:5 Normal)
Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
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"Second, as a woman, I am offended."

But as a Michigan fan, you whole heartedly agree with meand will adopt the spirit of the season? Or... no?

Just to note, I am married to an awesome woman. Article made me laugh at how on point it was to my life, though.

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
October 26th, 2012 at 12:53 PM | Maybe I will agree.... (Score:4 Normal)
goblueattorney
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MGoPoints: 412

a fancy tailgate with "activities" would creep me out.  But I do enjoy a large supply of different appetizers (may or may not be from PInterest), a main dish (can be hot dogs) and some great desserts.  No activities or fine China!  And no warm beer!  cold beer, whiskey sours, and maybe Bloody Mary's for a noon game.  I pass on the Wine for a tailgate.  Sangria is OK.

October 26th, 2012 at 1:05 PM | The bloody mary is the most (Score:5 Normal)
loosekanen
Joined: 10/03/2009
MGoPoints: 547

The bloody mary is the most criminally overlooked beverage in existence. Most people seem to love them, yet they rarely order them. Whenever I'm in Vegas I'm usually ordering them and I couldn't count the number of people near me who always say, "Wow, that sounds really good. I'll have one too!" It's a unisex drink too which improves its utility at a party.

+1 to you for realizing its usefulness at a tailgate.

October 26th, 2012 at 1:24 PM | you gotta (Score:4 Normal)
wigeon
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Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 2743

try the Bloody Caeser's they serve poolside at the Bellagio.

Otherworldly.  

 

Biz hundert azoi ve tsvantsik

October 26th, 2012 at 2:10 PM | Bloody Caesar's at Bellagio? (Score:3 Normal)
mark5750
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Joined: 07/29/2010
MGoPoints: 666

I am currently in the area for work and am intrigued by this...but just for the sake of saying it wouldn't a Bloody Caesar be more of a Caesar's Palace kind of drink?

October 26th, 2012 at 3:40 PM | Bloody Caesars (Score:3 Normal)
Njia
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Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 6038

Canada's contribution to cocktails, and damn, they're good.

"If life is the road, then Ohio is simply a place to stop for gas." -- Scott Burgess, Detroit News, 9/16/2010
October 26th, 2012 at 9:37 PM | great to (Score:1 Normal)
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 144

see our neighbors to the north get a plug

October 26th, 2012 at 5:46 PM | I'm fine with my manhood (Score:2 Informative)
leftrare
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 544

And i have a bloody mary recipe that I thought I'd share, passed down from my late stepfather, a UM B-School grad.  This is a relatively mild spice load so you may add more to suit your taste, but follow the basic ingredients.

1 half-gallon  jug of Clamato Juice

1 teaspoon tabasco

2 teaspoons lemon juice

3 teaspoons worcester

2 teaspoons horseradish (not the creamy kind)

After you mix the jug, you can pour some off and replace with vodka, so it's all ready to go.

Serve over ice of course, and top it off with a splash of beer.  it adds a nice bit of effervescence and cuts the viscousness of the tomato juice.

October 27th, 2012 at 12:09 PM | Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to (Score:1)
MDave
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Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to a T?

"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." - John Wooden

October 26th, 2012 at 1:52 PM | I don't know if you got the handbook (Score:4 Normal)
Jon06
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Joined: 09/19/2009
MGoPoints: 2082

But now that you're married, you can just tell her to go to hell if she bothers you when you're trying to watch football.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0061BQR5O

RIP my avatar, June 14, 1998 - October 26, 2012.

October 26th, 2012 at 2:05 PM | RIght, because that (Score:1)
profitgoblue
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19415

RIght, because that wouldn't end up killing your changes to enjoy the rest of this football season and probably the next three as well . . .

 

Disgruntled former moderator.  I got a lot of problems with you people!

October 26th, 2012 at 8:42 PM | Well, not really (Score:0 Trolling)
October 26th, 2012 at 9:05 PM | Well, huh... (Score:3 Normal)
Njia
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Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 6038

I must have forgotten to attach that rider to my marriage license. Or my wife didn't tell me about it. Likely the latter.

"If life is the road, then Ohio is simply a place to stop for gas." -- Scott Burgess, Detroit News, 9/16/2010
October 27th, 2012 at 9:34 AM | She's just being sneaky. It (Score:1)
UMgradMSUdad
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Joined: 07/02/2011
MGoPoints: 1949

She's just being sneaky. It took 25 years for my wife to finally realize that no matter how hard she tries, she's never going to mold me into the imaginary man she wishes she'd married.

October 26th, 2012 at 12:46 PM | I'll bring the salmon (Score:5 Funny)
Chester Cheetah
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Joined: 07/01/2009
MGoPoints: 1234

I'll bring the salmon rillettes and make some themed cocktails.

It ain't easy being cheesy

October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM | I was going to rant (Score:5 Normal)
quigley.blue
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Joined: 03/01/2010
MGoPoints: 240

I was going to rant about "wtf is a rillette, GTFO" and then I googled:

"Rillettes is a preparation of meat similar to pâté. Originally made with pork, the
meat is cubed or chopped, salted heavily and cooked slowly in fat until it is tender "

and, YES PLEASE

October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM | Sigh (Score:1 Normal)
Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 15741

I suppose I have only myself to blame.

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
October 26th, 2012 at 9:38 PM | yes sir (Score:-1 Normal)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:50 PM | In what sense is tailgaiting (Score:4 Normal)
willywill9
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Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 11256

In what sense is tailgaiting a whole different bowl of boiled peanuts?

Haha, my GF is from Georgia, and I've been to many a southern tailgate.  Food is awesome, but I'm curious what you're pointing to specifically.  

I will say this, girls in the south can actually sit and watch a football game (thank God, my gf is so understanding of my CFB addiction.)

Touchdown Michigan!

October 26th, 2012 at 12:59 PM | I will say this, girls in the (Score:5 Normal)
Owl
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Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 376

I will say this, girls in the south are just better generally. 

/shots fired

//War of Northern Aggression Round 2

October 26th, 2012 at 12:58 PM | I hear the women in the south... (Score:1 Normal)
goblueattorney
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Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 412

I hear Southern women dress up for tailgating?  No?  Although I did buy myself a cute pair of maize cords yesterday.........Oh, God, someone help me!!!!

October 26th, 2012 at 1:32 PM | ya!  Sundresses for the (Score:1)
willywill9
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Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 11256

ya!  Sundresses for the games... pledges (and most guys) where suits.  It's a big deal.  Wearing Jerseys are frowned upon.

Touchdown Michigan!

October 26th, 2012 at 1:49 PM | They have an unfair advatage (Score:1)
goblueattorney
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Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 412

They have an unfair advantage over us and that is-  weather!  90 degrees every Saturday down south....perfect for Sundresses.  Sorry for the guys that have to wear suits, though.

October 26th, 2012 at 3:26 PM | I live in San Diego (Score:3 Normal)
MGoBrewMom
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MGoPoints: 1366

And no way in hell am I wearing a dress...shorts and flip flops for football, and most everything (non work) else.

Mom, MGrad and life long fan living in So Cal

October 26th, 2012 at 9:39 PM | touche (Score:2 Normal)
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 144

to you

October 26th, 2012 at 2:55 PM | Correction (Score:3 Normal)
Needs
Joined: 08/05/2008
MGoPoints: 4159

An oxford, a blazer, and a tie does not a suit make. 

October 26th, 2012 at 4:17 PM | I know what 1 out of those 3 (Score:5 Normal)
Wisconsin Wolverine
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Joined: 05/18/2011
MGoPoints: 1570

I know what 1 out of those 3 things is.  I'm a bloody savage, aren't I?

October 26th, 2012 at 5:03 PM | You are pitiful. (Score:5 Normal)
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 5050

Oxford - place in England

Blazer - Chevy 4 x 4

Tie - like kissing your sister

May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift

October 26th, 2012 at 9:40 PM | +1 for the tie (Score:-1 Trolling)
October 26th, 2012 at 3:44 PM | Where? (Score:3 Normal)
TIMMMAAY
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Joined: 09/08/2008
MGoPoints: 5948

Where?

not just "douchey" MGoBlog user, but now TRUSTED MGoBlog user

October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM | I'd like to add (Score:5 Normal)
Hardware Sushi
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Joined: 03/08/2010
MGoPoints: 3481

I'd like to add "throwing a football" and "finding somewhere to pee between cars" to the list of acceptable tailgate activities.

Intensity is a lot of guys that run fast.

October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM | I support this ammendment. (Score:4 Normal)
Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 15741

I support this ammendment.

"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM | The latter is both acceptable (Score:4 Normal)
urbanachiever
Joined: 01/16/2010
MGoPoints: 614

The latter is both acceptable and necessary in order to maximize one's enjoyment at a tailgate

"I hope I can get a bunch of championships - like 15"

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