Martha Stewart officially destroys tailgating
Also drinking games. If that isn't covered by drinking
Generally, i think the whole snide comment picture thing is played out... but this is down right hilarious. Thanks for giving me hope.
Can't you just be thankful that you are at a tailgate... which also implies you should be thankful that you are going to a game?
To be so lucky!
One of the comments in the replies to the story included something that I can definitely imagine at Southern Tailgates...
"100-300 arguments ensue over ACC quality. GF argues that Duke's WR's could 'torch' WVA's dbacks. Since she went to Alabama she will of course know their names and hometowns."
Actually, the whole comment thread for the article is pretty funny.
I went to college in the South. I wore a dress to every tailgate. Only a complete brute of a man would show up to a tailgate without coat and tie.
That scenario probably has Big Ten folk aghast, but on the plus side there was often very good bourbon available.
What has me aghast is the implication that you have to dress up to drink good bourbon.
What has me aghast is the implication that you have to
dress up be dressed to drink good bourbon.
<--- Big big fan of scotch whisky, have yet to find a bourbon that I really enjoy...
Looking for reccomendations to better acquaint myself with the joys of bourbon. Any suggestions?
of the widely available ones, I always enjoy Woodford Reserve (always neat). The current rise in micro distilleries keeps things interesting, too. Happy hunting.
Mint Julep Jelly Shots (yeah, you can't count after a few of them)
The Macallan 18 is my favorite spirit of all time. I like Bourbon, too, and Irish whiskey for good measure. I'll take just about any barrel-aged, distilled spirit from grains. The flavors of vanilla, oak and caramel are always high on my list.
Went on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail just this week, in fact. Stopped at Four Roses and tried their three whiskeys sold here in the U.S. (yellow label, small batch and single barrel). I was fairly impressed.
is my favorite scotch. It is distilled in the Highlands in Tain.
I like Buffalo Trace, smooth and really good for the price, no so damn 'spensive.
name of Barney Stinson is wrong with dressing up to drink?
I encourage proper dress, in fact. After all, one does not want to be mistaken for a slovenly hobo while drinking outdoors.
Just don't ask me why it's so important that I get the signal in for the noon games when we're going to a live game at 3:30. And more importantly, don't glare at me when you're trying to chat me up about new landscaping ideas and I respond with a grunt and a comment on WVU's defense.
I've been to a Clemson game in September. If you think its anywhere close to being fair that girls can wear airy dresses while guys have to wear a stiffling coat and tie then you've got another thing coming. The girls in the South are outstanding but the guys are clearly all idiots.
I'd rather be kicking it in the the above picture than the below picture.
The above picture looks sensual.
The below picture looks boring.
For me... so long as it's tasty and I don't have to do any work other than lifting it to my mouth, that's perfect tailgate food.
Capitalizing it makes it sound like an unwholesome sexual act. NTTAWWT.
I would direct it.
I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this. Once you get past "mandatory" flag football or Bacci ball (oh, and I'll concede the decorations sound terrible), you have:
- Cheese quesadillas (with guacamole and sour cream)
- Veggie platters with dip
- Chips and salsa
- Make-your-own-fajita station
- Hot chocolate
That doesn't sound terrible to me. The food is pretty much in line with what I would expect to see at a backyard family tailgate, although none of my drinks of choice are represented. Maybe I'd prefer some more barbeque, but if the alternative is fajitas you won't hear any complaining from me.
Please return yours.
If I'm at the game I'd rather be eating brats and burgers (actually I'd rather be eating some kind of pork, but whatever), but I'm not sure how fajitas and quesadillas suddenly got less manly because it's a fall Saturday. Also, if you don't like chips and salsa or some vegetables and ranch...I don't even know, man.
Right up until "make your own fajita station." At that point, I had visions of white coated waitstaff, and little finger foods, and china. Also, stemware. Also, nothing called "crudite" should ever be allowed at a tailgate. Sure, I get that they're cut up veggies, but still...
When I say "make-your-own-fajita station" what that usually means for me is putting the crockpot full of venison steak, onions and peppers on the counter with tortillas, a bag of shredded cheese, a tub of sour cream and some different hot sauces out on my kitchen island.
And you now have me thinking about a make your own fajita station tonight, dammit.
I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this.
I'll tell you what's wrong. Nowhere does it mention beer or any actual watching of football. This is what happens when you mix the Martha-Stewart-esque desire to have phony perfection in everything you do, with the same attitude responsible for the creation of "woman-caves." The people who try this sort of thing with the expectation that it'll actually work are the same people who were the only ones not having having fun at their wedding (despite being the bride) because shit didn't go down exactly has planned.
I have no use for tailgaiting (not that I make it to games much). I don't like to eat before games because I'm always a little sick to my stomach during them, and I don't like being distracted by anything a good hour before kickoff (and then during the game, of course). The team needs my total focus.*
*That's crazy? No, you are crazy, and I'll thank you stop projecting your voice into my head.
All "activities" at my tailgates revolve around Jameson.
Like I said. Not ALL women are responsible for the destruction of tailgates. Some just for the destruction of livers.
Which is wholly encouraged.
Livers, dignity, furniture, clothing, etc etc etc. =)
thought that said "Future" and not furniture.
WHATS A QUESADILLA? ROLL TIDE
I think it's a marvelous idea to decorate the tailgate table with "fall colors." Because that's what people like! I also like to "line my veggie bowls" with lettuce, because again, that's what people fucking kill for. And what a wonderful idea to serve grilled cheese quesadillas, which of course are a staple at all pre-game festivities! This is precious! I can't wait to play Baci Saturday all goddamn day before the Michigan game! I'm going to kill everyone at Baci!!! In other words, THANK YOU MARTHA!!
Guy who had his last football Saturday ruined by a group of women who complained he wasn't "participating". I had my beer and my eyes on the TV. That is how you participate in a damned tailgate! Not by doing the friggin christmas name-draw!
You win the internet today - LOL.
Martha Stewart is from Westport, CT and this article is in the Wesport Patch. I'm assuming that's the connection that the OP was making.
As for the artcile, I've been enjoying it and the comments all week since Jason Kirk tweeted about it on Monday. I went to college in the town next to Wesport and this type of party would be very typical for the residents of Connecticut's "Gold Coast". As others have noted, it doesn't sound like a bad party, just not a good tailgate. Also, in my opinion you can't have a tailgate at your house. That would be considered a BBQ. Without a car there is no tailgate.
To be fair, this is probably a bit unfair to the actual Martha Stewart -- she would do a better job than this. For one, like the OP, she'd recognize that the decor (and attire) should be about fandom -- I'm not quite sure what tasteful fandom looks like, but I'm sure she would be happy to show me. I think it might involve pennants. Second, I'd hope she'd recognize that to be a "tailgater," you'd have to hold it in your driveway, not in the backyard.
Martha would probably expect the guests not to wear the jerseys and bright colors of their teams, but rather "tea stain" white t-shirts to "celebrate the colors of autumn."
And if you want to know how I know what "tea staining" is, here's a clue: Michael's is my wife and daughter's favorite store on earth.
Poor Blazefire originally titled this thread "women destroy tailgating" and then very quickly realized that was not the most perfect title in the world and changed it to Martha Stewart.
Sometimes I feel all threads should have a 12 hour wait period before being posted...
This has nothing to do with treating women like objects. He said they destroy tailgates, which requires agency. How can you treat something like an object while simultaneously affirming its agency? Not all instances of misogyny are instances of treating women like objects.
Sorry, I missed the reference. The forthcoming downvotes are well deserved.
5 minutes of work is outrageous. I've got it made being a stay at home mom. My job improved dramatically once the third child headed off to Kindergarten. Sadly, now I have just discovered how lazy I actually am.
The 12 hour waiting period I was referring to was for poorly titled threads, not your response. I can imagine sometimes people start a thread and then ten minutes later they think,"D'oh!".
WHOA!!! I just bookmarked this thread so I can show my wife the next time she yells about how I've got it easy going to work everyday instead of staying at home with the kids. (Of course, our two are younger than kindergarten age so I assume I'll lose the argument again. Dammit.)
Two at home means she still can't go to the bathroom alone.....It's a whole different ballgame!
That is EXACTLY what she tells me. Can't go to the bathroom, can't eat, and can't shower. I guess that explains why she stinks . . . Hahaha.