Porn - well, I'm healthy and normal. So I guess in one sense, of course I love porn. But, I prefer the real thing to porn, and prefer to avoid porn (so as to focus on the real thing. My avatar is a pic of my real thing. Hence, why bother with porn?)
Whisky - never was much of one for hard liquor. A good bottle of wine, or the right beer, on the other hand . . .
Smoked Whitefish - awesome. Will see a fellow alum next weekend who will bring smoked fish to enjoy with beer, wine, crackers et al.
Penis - own it, know how to use it, use it, have progeny as a result of it. (And actually, being happily married results in more use than otherwise.) However, in the case of the boy in question, he and his twin sister are adopted, and happily so.
And, if you stil are actually are willing to part with the jersey, I'd gladly pay for it.