LLoyd Carr attended my grandfathers funeral

Submitted by radfan5 on

  

  Ive went back and forth on whether to post this or not. This past week my grandfather passed away, from complications of pulmonary fibrosis. He was a Riverview Highschool grad, and played football with Lloyd Carr. Of course growing up fanatical about Michigan athletics, i thought this was the coolest thing. My grandfather never one to boast about himself, always just said what a great kid Lloyd was, and that he was proud of his accomplishments and the way he handles himself.

 My grandfather was a photogragher with a studio in Trenton, Mi. He took all the Photos for Riverview schools, and in the late 90's (I believe) did the Riverview Hall of fame, which Lloyd is obviously apart of. So anyway, They had taken a photo together and my grandfather had kept it in his office, and again i thought it was so cool that my grandfather knew Lloyd Carr, 

 So my grandfather passes away, and  At various times during the services His siblings and some old friends tell me that Lloyd really looked up to my grandfather and thought of him as his hero during his time in highschool. I thought the thought was very nice, but i dont know how much i believed it. Not because of the sources, but sometimes stories get embellished especially after a passing, and furthermore i had extensive conversations with my grandfather, and  this never even began to come up. So the morning of his funeral ( 12-12) im supposed to do a reading, and im a bit nervous with also trying to keep my emotions in check, so im doing alot of pacing in the halls. I turn a corner and almost run smack dab into Coach Lloyd Carr. It completely caught me off guard. I shook his hand and thanked him for coming. He nodded and continued on. I didnt want to bother him, and didnt approach him again. My grandfathers siblings who also know him, and of course my father (because that is what he does) got into a conversation with him. He stated that my grandfather was his hero, because he was the best athlete in school (did not know this either) and 2 years older. He said being so young on varsity the kids wouldnt talk to him, and my grandfather took it upon himself to take him under his wing and befriend him. He also said he would love to share what he had just said, but had just found out the night before and was to shakin up to speak. 

 To me the whole experience was quite humbling. Here i was my whole life thinking how cool my grandfather was for playing with Lloyd Carr. Looking at a picture assuming my grandfather was happy to get a picture with him, and assuming Lloyd just took a photo with just someone he went to school with. Im not surprised, because my grandpa was a great man, and I dont say that lightly.

I didnt want this to be just a "cool story brah" kind of post, and wasnt sure exactly what to leave in and what to leave out. I can say that my respect for Coach Carr has gone up significantly. His address in the book read Naples Fl. and from what i understand that is where he came from to attend. 

Maizenblueball

December 14th, 2013 at 6:04 AM ^

...this really is a cool story.  I'm sorry for your loss, but it sounds like your grandfather lived a long and full life.  Clearly your grandfather made a significant impact on Coach Carr; enough for him to attend.  Best wishes to you and your family, Radfan5.

Magnus

December 14th, 2013 at 6:29 AM ^

Anyone who says "cool story brah" is a dick.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm sorry for your loss. It's too bad that as grandkids, sometimes we have to wait until our grandparents die to find out lots of cool things they experienced. 

mgobleu

December 14th, 2013 at 7:28 AM ^

Kind of disappointing that way, and it might just be that generation; I've never known any of my grandparents to talk themselves up, or really be proud of themselves so to speak, but when my grandpa on my mom's side passed, I got the most amazing history lesson when my grandmother brought out all the pictures, journals and clippings from his tour in WWII. He'd been all over the world, met amazing people including Winston Churchill, nearly died when his navy ship was sunk by a kamikaze...he lived a life like a movie and none of us grandkids knew until he was gone.

LB

December 14th, 2013 at 9:19 AM ^

had have come about because I've taken the time to talk to a member of an older generation because of an introduction, or them wearing some designation of their service. None of them are getting any younger, speak while you still can.

 

fatbastard

December 14th, 2013 at 9:54 AM ^

That bears repeating.  Whether your great-grandparents, grandparents, or even parents, neighborsor friends.  I realize that might sound a bit corny, but it's true.  I wish I had taken that advice before my grandfather's relatively early onset of dementia. Take the time to do it.   Much better than playing another game of mortal kombat (or whatever the game du jour is).

Blue Durham

December 14th, 2013 at 10:11 AM ^

I had an uncle that was a dermatologist and, in his spare time, was a researching herpetologist. Published research papers and a book, and donated many snakes to various zoos throughout the country.

But what we didn't know until shortly before he died was that he was also in the 8th Army Air Force as a gunner in B-17s. Flew several missions over Berlin. Didn't like to talk about it, though (obviously).

Everyone should not take advantage of the time they have left with their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, but also think about recording (voice or notes) some of the stories they have, particularly those about their parents and grandparents, and how life was "back in the day." My wife and I are grateful that we have done some of this, just wish we had done more.

mGrowOld

December 14th, 2013 at 11:02 AM ^

Funny you should mention that.   My wife's father passed away the Tuesday before the OSU game from the complications of Parkinson's and at his funeral I learned that he was a very fast runner when he was young.   So fast in fact that he held numerious state records here in Ohio for sprinting.  But the cool thing was finding out who broke all of my father-in-law's records.

Jessie Owens!

radfan5

December 14th, 2013 at 6:39 AM ^

 for the well wishes and support. Magnus that is my feelings exactly. Not just this, so many other things as well. Really incredible. So many things i would love to ask him...NOW. 

Buccaneer_9

December 14th, 2013 at 7:18 AM ^

I think it's just the way that the "greatest generation" and those shortly thereafter (your grandfather & Lloyd) were to taught be.  There is an overwhelming sense of humility from those folks.  I have a much older cousin, that until I was in my 30's, I had no clue about him playing in the NFL during the 60's and that he was the focus of a lengthy S.I. article in 1968! 

That generation just didn't talk about what they accomplished because they felt like that was what was expected of them and it wasn't polite to "brag" about yourself.

The greatest generation indeed.

Condolences on your loss.  Losing a grandparent is just as bad as losing a parent.  Take comfort in knowing the impact he had on the lives of others.

A2YpsiBlue

December 14th, 2013 at 7:18 AM ^

It is neat to hear about the "realness" if people we've heard so much about. Back when Lloyd was in high school, he was simply Lloyd and props to your grandfather.

I am certainly not Lloyd, but in middle school I distinctly remember the best athlete in our class trying to incorporate me in at gym class when I was certainly not the best athlete and now many years later I still feel indebted to him.

radfan5

December 14th, 2013 at 7:47 AM ^

Some of the stories I heard were utterly amazing and I had no idea. I mean having to climb up on a train and kick coal off to take home to keep your family warm, because you were the man of the house far too early in life... Like I said what I wouldn't give to spend a day just talking to him...What we take for granted.

Michigasling

December 14th, 2013 at 12:00 PM ^

(if one can say that) is that even if you know about a loved one's accomplishments, even if you'd had a chance to learn about the struggles of their daily lives, you rarely hear about the simple kindnesses that wouldn't have seemed important to them but were very important to someone else. 

I knew a lot about my dad before he died (he loved history and lived through a lot of it), but stories like this I didn't learn from him.  Mom was taken aback by a scheduled "open house" at the funeral home (if that's what it's called) until she read the notice in the paper, and wasn't up to greeting people, so I took her place.  Most of the people I knew, but one man I'd never met told me that when he came from Ireland to our Midwestern town, he was so grateful to my Dad, a refugee from Nazi Germany, for being so welcoming and helpful, making him feel at home in their newly adopted country.  I have no idea who he was or how they met, but it's the one conversation I remember. 

Nice to learn a parent or grandparent was also a really nice guy. 

 

Paps

December 14th, 2013 at 8:21 AM ^

It just shows that you never know what happened in someone's life, especially if they are as humble as your grandfather was. I am every sorry for your loss, but it sounds like he was a great man. When my grandfather passed, we found out he took 4 years out of his life to go to Canada and look for gold... He never mentioned or told anyone about this!!! But thanks for sharing that great story.

LSAClassOf2000

December 14th, 2013 at 8:29 AM ^

This is a wonderful story and many condolences on your loss. 

Along similar lines to what mgobleu and Magnus mentioned above, my grandparents are also of that generation where it seems we find out about things like this when they are gone. My mother's father, for example, always told us he was "just a florist", but only when he was gone and we saw some of the people that came to see him off and dug through his belongings and found evidence of these great things he had seen and done did we learn. 

BlueCube

December 14th, 2013 at 8:55 AM ^

Thanks for posting and I think you told the story perfectly. I appreciate you posting it as it is a touching story about your grandfather and says a lot about Lloyd Carr also. You should be proud of your grandfather. He sounds like he was a great man and I'm sorry for your loss.

I lost my father to pulminary fibrosis in 1987 when I was 25 so I'd like to express my deepest sympathies to you and your family. It's nice that you have one final memory to cherish.

StephenRKass

December 14th, 2013 at 9:32 AM ^

Thanks for posting this. Great insight into Lloyd Carr. Only what I would expect, from what I knew of him.

It is good to be reminded that beyond their public person, coaches are all normal people. Some are good people, some aren't.

Here's the thing. Success on the field is only tangentially related to the character of the coach. Between your recruiting prowess, your entire coaching staff, especially the OC & DC, injuries, strength of schedule, and a little luck (turnovers, officiating, weather, etc.), the margin between success and failure can be very small. I've always pondered at how we are quick to castigate and condemn and badmouth coaches who haven't succeeded just the way we want them to succeed.

This is a long-winded way of saying I'm proud of Hoke and his staff, including Borges and Mattison. I strongly believe they are doing things the right way. I especially appreciate that they aren't overly full of themselves, and show appropriate modesty (like your grandfather.) I am thrilled that Michigan doesn't win by cutting corners, and that our coaches are loud and proud and insufferably arrogant braggerts. That isn't quite right:  I know they are proud of the team, and of Michigan. Rather, they're not too full of themselves and their own importance.

I completely fall in the camp of preferring someone of strong and good character over someone who has success on the field at the cost of integrity and character. Almost anyone in the right place can buy success, but the currency you use is important. In the end, it affects how you look at yourself in the mirror. The worst fallout of Tatgate in some ways is for Tressel. I suspect he was a good man who made a poor decision, and it has affected the rest of his life. Cutting corners doesn't pay in the end. (for an interesting illustration of this principle, read a children's book by C.S. Lewis entitled "The Last Battle.")

As regards not getting to know more about your grandfather, well, youth is wasted on the young. If I could go back in time, I would have spent a lot more time with my grandparents, one of whom was a German pilot in WWI. I would love to have heard more stories and history that is now lost. For this reason, I've really talked a lot more to my father-in-law, who was a pilot in WWII, and dropped troops both at Normandy and Market garden (Holland invasion.) There are a ton of things he did in the war my wife (his daughter) was clueless about.

Can I make a suggestion? If you wrote a respectful letter to Coach Carr, letting him know that you would like to meet with him over dinner sometime to hear about your grandfather, and football at Riverview, and even just stories of Carr's life, I wouldn't be surprised if he would oblige you, to honor the memory of your grandfather. It is small solace for not talking to your grandfather more while alive, but it would be something.

BlueSpiceIn SEC.hell

December 14th, 2013 at 3:24 PM ^

...with everything you said.  People with integrity -Bo, current staff - This is so much more important. Radfan5's story is about character and integrity.  The respect his grandfather was shown wasn't because of the talents of the person, but the actions and character of the man. Our current staff has it and as coach Hoke has stated he/they are teaching these kids to be men. HAIL!

fatbastard

December 14th, 2013 at 9:50 AM ^

That really is a great story, and thanks for sharing it with us.   Your grandfather sounds like a great man, and a great high school kid.  You're fortunate to have had time with him.  It's funny that it takes his death (or someone else's) to learn what an impact that person may have had on others, especially those outside of your family. 

I have always had a soft spot for Coach Carr.  He is the definition of a class act.  I think there is a picure of him in the Webster's Unabridged Dictionary of him.  It doesn't surprise me that he came to pay his respect. 

 

Webber's Pimp

December 14th, 2013 at 9:54 AM ^

Thanks for sharing. I can't help but think back at all the idiots who used to call for LLoyd's head. I always used to say be carefull what you wish for. Here we are years later and Michigan still hasn't gotten back to the Lloyd era level of success.

XM - Mt 1822

December 14th, 2013 at 1:04 PM ^

comes some silver lining.  thank you for sharing that.

i would also say that it is a reminder that our favorite people might not be around very long, and take the time to talk with them.  i did this with my own father who's life story was really amazing.  i would literally interview him in front of my children and get him to talk about his childhood, WW II P-51 pilot stuff, meeting mom, etc.   last time i did this was 7 weeks before he died, and at that time nobody but God knew that my dad was sick.   i happened to have put an i-touch on my knee as i asked him questions and my kids listened intently.  

that 45 minute video is preserved forever.  take the time to honor your mother, father, grandparents etc by asking them to speak into your life and the lives of your children.   look at what the OP learned this week, something that will hopefully put a smile on his face for years to come.

 

 

Lampuki22

December 14th, 2013 at 10:13 AM ^

I probably know your Grandfather or family. 

I could go on and on about Riverview football and the men that came out of our tiny city, but I'll spare everyone.  Had the good fortune to play football on some great teams and be around some of the greatest coaches in Michigan and NCAA history because of it and then attend Michigan as a student.   

If Lloyd looked up to your grandfather, he must have been a pretty special guy. 



Great story, thanks for sharing. 

gotohail

December 14th, 2013 at 10:37 AM ^

Cool story... Really. I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing an not so ordinary interaction with us.



I'm with you on not harassing him just because you had the opportunity. There is a time and place for everything and how you handled your interaction was nothing short of respectful and classy.



To your grandfather! Go blue!

aiglick

December 14th, 2013 at 11:06 AM ^

Sorry for your loss and thank you for the story.

What has never been in dispute in my mind is that Lloyd Carr is a classy man which ultimately is most important.

Sllepy81

December 14th, 2013 at 11:41 AM ^

own grandpa? having the guy he called his hero in HS. Sorry for your loss but that's cool, he will be talked about in the family for many years after for that.

JTrain

December 14th, 2013 at 11:44 AM ^

Ol Lloyd was a throwback. He came and visited our room at Mott children's hospital after my sons first open heart surgery (long but semi-humorous story in itself). Anyway, I was impressed that a guy as busy as him would stop and visit at 8pm during the middle of the football season. Genuinely great guy!

Thanks for sharing your story and my sympathy to you and your family regarding the loss of your grandfather.

GoWings2008

December 14th, 2013 at 2:49 PM ^

and thanks for posting that story.

This past summer, I lost my dad at the age of 90, a 1947 Michigan graduate and was at school the same time as Tom Harmon.  Although they weren't "friends" they did play cards together and my dad said he was always a nice person.  

Here's a toast to our family members, may they be watching games with Bo and enjoying each other's company.

 

I dumped the Dope

December 14th, 2013 at 3:33 PM ^

Our grandparents did amazing things, I believed they worked harder and longer on average than almost anyone around today.

I do very much appreciate the "good guy" syndrome that we expect from our M coaching staff.  We all want results, but I think deep down we value solidity of character more, its just harder to articulate.

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandpa, they are taken away sooner than they should.  It is very cool that LC took the time to make his way to honor his memory.

CodeBlue82

December 14th, 2013 at 4:26 PM ^

Your feelings, expressed so movingly, are a tribute to your grandfather. Please do write Coach Carr and tell him about your grandfather's pride in him. So often the things we care the most about go unsaid, and he clearly cared for your grandfather. 

If I may make a suggestion, you might ask him about their high school coach and others who were their role models. 

 

Engin77

December 14th, 2013 at 5:20 PM ^

It's so easy to think of our most recent image of people and forget that at one time that the older gentleman with a heart condition was once the best athlete in his high school, or that the career football coach and Big Ten head coach was once a sophomore trying to fit in on his high school team.

Definately a cool story, and sorry for your loss.

 

Demonstrationhall

December 14th, 2013 at 5:58 PM ^

The Lloyd Carr part of your story is irrelevent. The passing of your Grandfather is very truly sad and will be a missing part of your life. Yet memories and smiles on how he affected your life are priceless. Somehow I wager, he is proud of you and brags to all in Heaven, My Grandson is a Michigan Man