LeBron James advising Terrelle Pryor
It must be hard having to take the wrath of Buckeye fans who expect you to win every game (and at least make a few good passes).
http://www.cleveland.com/osu/index.ssf/2009/10/post_4.html
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:35 AM ^
Well, if you're going to pick an advisor, at least LeBron James is a step up from Charlie Batch.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:03 AM ^
You sure about that?
If he would have listened to CB, he wouldn't be a Buckeye in the first place.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:54 AM ^
In what way?
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:01 PM ^
went to school at Eastern, remember. He was trying hard to sell Pryor on M instead of OSU.
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:57 AM ^
this isn't a new thing BronBron was his adviser before the Purdue game.
I guess this is another sign that James is not going to NYC. I mean, he'd be in the top 10 of celebs, not king, like in Cleveland (whose #2 is Pryor?).
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:13 AM ^
It's Shaq Fu. Then, ummm, uhhh Drew Carey lol. Ohh Michael Symon Iron Chef. Yeah thats all I got. This town sucks.
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 AM ^
Good guy to be mentoring someone about the spotlight. I imagine his advise went something like this.......
"Don't worry about playing bad TP. All you have to do when you throw a pick or have a bad game is have coach confiscate all the tapes and it will be like it never happened at all!"
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 AM ^
Hey TP,
Lebron here. Got some advice for you, maybe
it'll help you get things together. Of course,
I wouldn't really know, because man, I have
never played as shitty as you did these past
few games. That last drive against USC? Wow,
which way did you think your team was going? :)
I won't even mention Purdue. Purdue, hmm, sounds
like something you step in. And you sure stepped
in it.
So here's my advice. Despite what everybody else does ...
- Don't murder people
- Don't steal from me, or from yourself
- Don't kill people
Especially number 2. Steal from me and I will
f*** you up.
Definitely: don't have regret about not
going to Michigan, where a coach could
have utilized your skills about 1000x better
than your current one. Better: don't even play
against Michigan; you're 1-0, why not keep it
perfect?
Don't throw the ball again, ever. Ever!
Just run the damn thing. On a passing play,
frustrate your coaches by simply calling an
audible to a QB keeper. They'll only complain
if you don't score a lot of touchdowns, like
you did in high school. Note: you must learn how to
audible. Second note: you must learn how to run
in college.
Speaking of which, don't think about high school.
Remember last year, when you said it was all like
high school? That was because there was a lot of
talent around you. Now, it's on your shoulders.
And, unlike high school, you kind of stink at QB.
So try to forget all that, and stop sucking.
Don't talk back to Tressel. In fact, don't talk
to Tressel. He is OLD, and wears some kind of
sweater without arms. Does he have unusually warm
arms? I hope so, because he needs to give you a hug.
But don't talk to him; he'll probably mumble about
the "I-formation" or some such stone-age bullshit,
and where will that get you?
Also, be careful talking near Tressel. For example,
here is an innocent conversation you might be having:
"Does anyone have a knife to *spread* this butter
on my toast?" Or: "What is the point *spread* on that game?"
Or maybe: "Now that I suck, chicks sure won't *spread*
their legs for me anymore." Why not say these things near Tressel? Because he'll think he's going deaf, or losing his ability to understand english. Why is that? Because he sure
can't understand when anyone says the word "spread". And
we don't want Coach to think he's going nuts.
Also, one final tip: don't worry about the ears. You'll
grow out of it, probably. Unfortunately, though, your head
isn't getting any bigger these days, which just accentuates
your ears even further.
Love,
'Bron
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 PM ^
"He is OLD, and wears some kind of sweater without arms. Does he have unusually warm arms?"
That kills me. Nice.
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 PM ^
Reading that made my day complete!
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:33 AM ^
Does this mean Braylon Edwards is going to come kick TP's ass now?
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:57 AM ^
let me tell you how not to win championships."
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:05 PM ^
Bo was the ish!
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 PM ^
hold out for a Hummer instead of the Corvette. Smart move street-cred wise.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:42 PM ^
Lebron should be able to give him some good advice regarding adversity and people treating him like something less than a god. And, you know, being in college.
October 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 PM ^
I think Pryor should transfer to Michigan to play wide receiver.
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:11 PM ^
is just as dumb as Pryor. It's the blind leading the blind.