Lane Kiffin for Next Michigan HC
I know I said I wasn't going to talk coaching changes at Michigan, but then it struck me.
People keep bringing up names like Nussmeier or Butch Jones from Tennessee. People say we need to find our Nick Saban or Pete Carroll from his USC days. I combined those thoughts together when it dawned on me.
Facts: Lane Kiffin is the perfect candidate for the Michigan Head Coaching position.
- He is a former head coach both in the NFL and at major college football programs (Tennessee and USC)
- He currently owns a 62.5% winning record, which can surely only improve at Michigan
- He's been a position coach at OL, WR, TE, and QB, and has been an OC.
- His offense is similar to the offense brought in by Nussmeier, so no brand new system needs to be learned immediately
- But he's an upgrade over Nussmeier, because he took Nussmeier's job.
- He is a Nick Saban disciple, the most successful coach in college football.
- He was a dynamic recruiter at his previous stops
- He has connections to Southern California and Florida, recruiting hot beds. On top of that, he has connections within the B1G footprint in Minnesota and Nebraska.
- He's the son of a former great NFL DC. He could be brought on to implement a zone blitz heavy defense similar to the one brought in by Mattison that can teach players what they need to learn to make it to the NFL
- His brother is the current DL coach at Ole Miss. He can install that SEC speed.
- He's only 39 years old. He could run this program for 25 years, build a great coaching tree, and have Michigan at elite status for several decades.
Lane Kiffin for the next head coach of Michigan!
EDIT: This has been up long enough now. This was satire, fighting the insanity of this blog with maximum insanity. "In a mad world, only the mad are sane." So this doesn't totally come back to bite me in the ass later when someone links this and says "YOU HAVE NO CREDIBILITY, YOU WANTED KIFFIN TO BE THE MICHIGAN COACH" (which, no), for those on phone apps that can't see the tags or those that don't look at the tags below:
Tags:
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
this will end swimmingly.
September 23rd, 2014 at 11:07 AM ^
Apparently a joke, but do we really need this right now?
September 23rd, 2014 at 12:54 PM ^
Space Coyote is the best. This is exactly the kind of thing we need right now, IMO!
September 23rd, 2014 at 2:10 PM ^
I assume he is going to get a look
Rutgers was a dumpster fire which he turned around
September 23rd, 2014 at 2:55 PM ^
You should say "a look AGAIN"... for it was Schiano, who was Martin's first choice, and it was Schiano, who first accepted the Michigan job, then changed his mind, and rejected the offer. He then parlayed that into the Bucs head coaching job...
But despite the record in TB, I liked the way they played...and I liked what they were building down there... was an error that they canned him... but maybe his approach doesn't go well with the NFL, and is better suited to the college game.
September 23rd, 2014 at 2:39 PM ^
guy. People will march on State St if this happens.
September 23rd, 2014 at 4:36 PM ^
...... .. It beats the living daylights out of the frickin' melt down, horse manure that has oozed out of this blog for the last 72 hours
+1 to the Coyote!
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
I know you're being sarcastic, but I still threw up in my mouth a little bit.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:47 AM ^
...of how different ones' conclusions from a game can be from watching it in person versus analyzing the box score.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:53 AM ^
This is a joke that's missing the funny parts of a joke, right?
EDIT: Actually, that has funny parts. Well done, and no, I sure as hell don't read those things.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:53 AM ^
Yeah that's why I'm having trouble reading into it. Has SC really gone off the deep end?
September 23rd, 2014 at 2:09 PM ^
Sometimes Space Coyote is an ass
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:52 AM ^
He's left every school he's been at on probation! He's a cheater not a Michigan man!
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:56 AM ^
No way. Lane is mentally unstable and we need stability.
What about Joe Lombardi, the OC with the Lions.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:59 AM ^
you're onto something...
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:46 AM ^
was already on probation when Kiffin got there.
September 23rd, 2014 at 11:48 AM ^
was not the problem.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:53 AM ^
poor Mods.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:54 AM ^
Yay! 2 trolling coaching posts in 10 minutes! it's been a wonderful Tuesday thus far.
We all need to lighten up a little. Read the tags. It's obvioiusly sarcasm. +1 sir.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:54 AM ^
I was going to say I wish I had enough points to neg you, but now I wish I could upvote this. Subtle snark is my favorite.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:54 AM ^
the tags are awesome.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:54 AM ^
strictly based on title alone. Then I read the whole post, including the tags at the bottom, and realized you were thankfully kidding. For a brief moment there I thought one of the blog's best commenters had lost their mind.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:55 AM ^
But isn't he an asshole?
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:55 AM ^
I seriously just tried to rationalize Lane Kiffin being the next head football coach at Michigan. Is this what 12-steppers refer to as "rock bottom"?
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:56 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:57 AM ^
Go on...
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:20 AM ^
Peter Principal
Falling Up
Nepotism
Lane Kiffin
If you take the letter "A" to equal the numberical Value of 1, b =2, etc. and add up the letters in the above words you get a total of 380. Know another set of words with the same value?
MICHIGAN MAN
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:58 AM ^
Who would his staff be?
I might support a Kiffen hire if we were certain to get some good assistants, like (the artist formerly known as) Prince or Uma Thurman's character from Kill Bill.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:58 AM ^
I didn't look at the tags because they are metadata and don't really do much except tell Google what is in the piece in a broad way. I was able to catch the satire there anyway, but it apparently needed to be more obviously satire.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:58 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:13 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:58 AM ^
Let's cut him a blank check.
September 23rd, 2014 at 9:59 AM ^
We could probably grab Tressel as the AD in a package deal here.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
Plus, we could have a lot of fun letting Daniel Tosh be the coach for a game. No one would know the difference till he ran naked across the field in a diaper midway through the first half
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:02 AM ^
that his wife is HOT!!!
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:02 AM ^
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:02 AM ^
Well played, sir
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:27 AM ^
If we are working with satire and sarcasm...
Do we think Pete Carroll has had enough success in the NFL that he wants to come back and dominate college football? Maybe he can bring in the legion of boom as defensive assistants and teach our DB's how to truly run press coverage. Can you imagine Peppers under the tutelage of Sherman? A lock down DB with the best shit talking skills the B1G has ever seen.
Marshan Lynch can come packing a bag of Skittles and teach Green & Smith how to run through arm tackles.
Yes... This is it... Pete Carroll for next head coach.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:03 AM ^
Based on the poster, it was fairly clear this was a well disguised joke. Or SpaceCoyote finally went off the deep end.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:06 AM ^
I'm not exactly sure what was funnier... the post and tags, or how many negs and incredulous comments there were! Keep up the good work, and remember that subtlety is an art not often appreciated until it sinks in.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:07 AM ^
Not sure if serious
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:08 AM ^
about the things you choose to be.
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:09 AM ^
This is arguably the best forum topic that will be created between now and the next time we win a game. But you left out a pretty important fact:
Lane Kiffin also took over Pete Carroll at USC, so clearly he is better than a SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP HEADCOACH.
Oh and also don't forget his public spat with Urban Meyer over improper phone calls to recruits! Perfect hire!
September 23rd, 2014 at 10:12 AM ^
Michigan broke Space Coyote.