Juwan Howard makes The Onion
Tomato soup with rye? Bah! Thick, crusty Italian croutons.
Hilarious, but at least he's still in the league.
...Howard was and is the classiest. And, as FF5 wrote, he is still in the league. Not bad for an "undersized center with no PF skills." I guess someone forgot to show him the scouting report.
After signing with the Heat for $89mm back in 1996, then having his contract voided, the Bullets ponied up $105mm to keep Big Nook. Juwan had a good year in 1995-6, but $105mm was probably the worst money the Bullets ever spent.
Juwan was probably my favorite Fab Fiver, but he was an undersized PF/C for the NBA.
I noticed the link to this article on that page. A few months old, but pretty funny all the same: