For the consideration of the Presidents of the Big Ten Conference, I would like to propose the ultimate game changer in college football. Since we all know that the league needs to be as big as possible in order to maximize the value of the Big Ten Network, I propose that the Big Ten add the following colleges:
Notre Dame, Pitt, Missouri, Syracuse, Nebraska, Texas, Texas A&M, UConn, Boston College, Rutgers, Maryland, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, West Virginia, Virginia, Virginia Tech, Cincinnati, Louisville, Memphis, South Florida, Hawaii, Miami (OH), Miami (FL), Columbia, Yale, Harvard, Toledo, Delaware, Appalachian St, UCLA, and Bob Jones University.
Adding these 32 teams would create what I call the 43 Team Squamish Conference. It would also accomplish the total annihalation of the Big East by removing every member of that league with anything loosely resembling a decent football team. (Which, for some reason seems to be an important goal of many Big Ten expansion proposals. Personally I have no animosity towards the Big East, but hey, give the Big Ten fans what they want. If that's Mike Tranghese's head on a silver platter, so be it.)
If there is any interest in college football in New York the Squamish would control just about every team within a day's drive of Gotham. In addition, UCLA would give the league access to the Southern California TV market, just in time for USC to recieve the death penalty. With no NFL teams in the area, Los Angelenos will have to watch the Big Ten network for their weekly football fix -- CHA-CHING!
I would suggest that the league be divided into the divisions as follows: First, there will be a five member Michigan And All The Teams They Need To Play Division, (M&AT3NTP for short) made up initially of Michigan, OSU, MSU, Notre Dame, and App St. (Because, face it, someday Michigan will figure out the spread well enough to actually beat those punks, and that will feel really good.) Then there will be the Academic Division, consisting of seven teams we brought in purely to make sure our scholastic and moral profile still looks good: Northwestern, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Texas, Virginia, and BJU. Teams in these two divisions play each other in round robins.
The remaining 33 teams can be broken up into three geographic divisions of eleven teams each, because scheduling works really well with eleven teams. (Well, better than any sixteen-team plan I've seen so far anyway.) The three divisions will be called the Fredonia Division, the Sylvania Division, and the Amos Alonzo Stagg division. Which teams belong in which division should be self-evident. In order to maintain rivalries, teams in the three eleven-team divisions will play none of the other teams in their own divisions.
The Championship of the 43 Team Squamish League will be determined as follows. The champions of the Fredonia Division and the Sylvania Division will meet in Florida in the Duck Soup Bowl, while the winners of the M&AT3NTP and Stagg Divisions will meet in the World Cup Final in South Africa. The winners of those two games will meet in the Big Game At the End of the Season, which will be held on the Following Saturday in a Big Stadium in a Big Media Market. The winner of the Academic Division will not participate in the postseason, because their season is strictly academic.
Academic excellence, gobs of money, and total domination of college sports. Plus a really convoluted schedule. What's not to love?