Marques Slocum. Two words: Fuck Lion.
If you could have one past or current player on MGoBlog...
If anybody thinks this is not the answer, please re-read the following:
This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Thanks for sharing this.
My favorite response is Slocum's answer about his mother. Who the hell refers to their bother as "dat b-tch" and says that she's "tha sh-t" in the same breath?? WTF??
I'm not sure what's more ridiculous - his responses or the fact that I could understand what he was saying in most all of the responses.
i can't read this without bursting into laughter. i honest to god have had it saved as a bookmark on my phone, ready to read when i'm having somewhat of a bad day.
Someone who knew his family posted the rest of their first names, and based on that, I concur that Gunner Kiel would bring some party to MGoBlog.
I love posts like this to kill time at work...
Past: David Cone- because everything would be written by a lyrical genious that could bust into rhymes at any point. I also believe that everytime I read one of his posts I would hear a beat with it.
Present: Darryl Stonum- recruited by Carr, played for RR and now part of the Hoke team. I also loved it when he showed up at the presser wearing the Nerd glasses. Seems like a funny guy who would have a great perspective on the program and the team.
Agreed, Lewan would be faulous!!
Finger Mustache Man!!
I think you meant phallus
Darryl Stonum and my number two would be Roy Roundtree. Nerd glasses and Donald Duck for avatars!
Past: Woodley. His facebook fan page is usually pretty funny and is probably really insightful on the defensive side of the ball
Current: Stonum. He seems (from his pressers) like a silly guy and would be fun to have around.
Denard is the last person I would want on here. I feel like all the negativity would destroy his innocence.
I think he'd be too nice to everyone. I went with Lewan because...I mean...try being a donkey around that guy. Seriously.
never one to hide his opinions on anything.
Tony Pape, as "Fat Elvis"!
No longer fat (lost a lot of weight I guess) and now a grad assistant at CMU (no picture in link, just to the fact he works at CMU)
is hilarious and intelligent. I would have to agree with Denard for the current player.
Desmond seems like a genuinely friendly and fun guy. He is charismatic as hell, and has that million-dollar smile like Denard. I'm happy for his well-deserved success after football, and proud that he was, and still is, blue.
Tom Brady for the past players. We would hit it off on the blog and then become friends in real life.
Roy Roundtree for current players. He seems like a funny dude.
It's gotta be DCone, Georgia's finest
I would vote for Kelly Baraka, so he can teach us all about his MMA training.
My vote for current player would go to Michael Cox, because then he could see that I'm the only one who's been on his bandwagon and that way he'll give me a small percentage of his salary when he runs for a million billion yards and enters the NFL Draft early next year.
Hey now, I've been on that bandwagon for awhile as well. We'll split the take.
I think a lot of people love Cox around here.
to be on Kelly's 5th grade Bantam basketball team in Portage. He was doing stuff then that I had never seen before on a basketball court. It sucked though when he ended my school's (Portage Central) winning streak over Northern in football. It was awful staring out the window at school and seeing those brown and orange goalposts. (Get your own damn stadium!) I would love to hear from him now to see if he and his family are still blaming "dark forces" in the community for him barfing up his scholarship.
Justin Boren- Past player
Any of the Kickers- Current
Justin "bolivia" Boren
Can you imaging this board the 1st time he doesn't put "OT" on his posts about fried food?
I don't think we'll ever have the pleasure of having Boren on this site. We don't have the family values that other blogs have to offer.
If he for some reason did join this blog and was open about his identity, I'd instantly neg him every single time he posted something. I would actually suggest Brian made a "fuck you, you fat slob" tag for the moderate function. Yeah, that would be fun.
So everytime he posted, I could go TUUUMMAANNN!
Tuman is one of my all-time favorite Wolverines! Despite that I would have to go with Dhani. He is very entertaining and well-spoken.
Either Rick Leach or Mike Hart for past player.
Definitely Denard for current player.
So many names, only one blog.
Id rather have Bo than any players.
Maybe it's just me, but I would be terrified if Bo were commenting on MGoBoard.
Just to read the comments in reply to his posts. Maybe he could post under "Plow Boy".
So you know, we have quite a few.
Unfortunately they don't include Dhani (that I know of), who would be my pick too.
Quite a few? I always figured there were a couple around here, but quite a few would be a surprise. Can you say if anyones pick is on the site, without saying who got their wish?
Well for one, GoBlueinMN's guy is a regular poster.
I won't say about anyone else because it's not up to me to reveal a user's identity. I wouldn't reveal yours to anyone either (except to Dhani Jones, because then he would be impressed that I am important and shit and we'd be best pals and travel the world on bicycles together and talk about global environmental politics and football, and we'd have the cheerleaders come too to keep us company...
I would sacrifice you all for that. Sorry.
Given your unwillingness to comment on whether anyone's pick comes on, I'll assume that Denard, Woodson, Braylon, Desmond, Lewan, Molk, Martin, Slocum and Tom Brady are all regulars that comment on most of the threads.
(On a side note [and I don't think you misunderstood] I wasn't asking for identity, just asking if any of the names mentioned made themselves known to you. A yes, no kind of question, not a fill in the blank type.)
I understood, but there's only like 15-20 guys named.
Say I had a source inside the M athletic dept. who offered a quote on something important, but asked to be anonymous. If you named 15 people who worked in the athletic department and asked me if any of them are the source, like, I can't answer that.
Didn't mean to be so mysterious. I mentioned it because it's a good reason I think for people to watch what they say on here -- you start ripping on a former player and there's a chance he's got a buddy who reads the blog. And if that buddy is Carson Butler, and you happen to be a nerd, well...
I guess I hadn't noticed how small the number of players named was; in that case it makes a lot more sense than I originally thought. I agree about ripping former players, the hardcore element of the fanbase is a heck of a lot smaller than the general base. You can't expect that really nasty things would go unread here like they would go unheard in a bar.
FWIW it doesn't look like Slocum is a regular contributor, so at least I narrowed it down a bit more.
for past player would be Zoltan. Current player, Mike Martin. Dude is in the trenches, knows his stuff and is a team leader. I'm sure he could give us some stout insight.
Past: Amani Toomer or Chris Perry
Current: Got be Denard!
I jocked the Toomer and Hayes connection. Still think that was our best 1-2 at wide out we've ever had.
Manningham / Arrington Terrell / Walker Braylon / Avant
All fine choices
Molk, Woolfolk, and others would be fine, too. I'd just like to hear from someone in the '07 recruiting class who has witnessed both transitions *and* has been a stand-up guy the whole way (unlike, say, Mr. Plow or Kurt Wermers).
All Hail the Space Emperor (of Space)!
The man has great passion for the program and I think he would have very good commentary on the events of the season.
As for current players...Kelvin Grady. He is a fun loving dude that wont take everything too serious. He is bright and articulate and I think if asked, he might do it.
Past: Dhani Jones
Current: Will Campbell
Dhani Jones was my first pick for former player too. His posts would provide many laughs.
I vote for Zoltan Mesko. Under the name The Space Emporer.
Past: Garret Rivas
Current: Stonum for sure
paired with Lewan, Martin, or Roundtree or Stonum. Also, Magnus, I have also been on the Cox wagon, but riding silently in the rear, fyi. I see Cox's upside, and patiently await for it being loosed on the Big Ten.
Past: Marell Evans
Current: Marell Evans
Past: MIKE HART 100%
Current: Denard, Lewan, Hoke
I would take Mike Hart for the Past
Woolfolk for the current.
This way I would get insight on both sides of the ball plus they talk smack.
Both are intelligent, articulate and have a solid sense of humor. They would bring a great perspectivce given their time in the pros. Both are deeply committed to UM and have maintained ties with the program and FB Alums (especially Steve with the Mott Golf Tournament with Brian Griese.) Even with that commitment, they maintain a nice objectivity.
I would want John Navarre. It would be interesting to see how he handled the criticism he took from everyone about accuracy/batted balls/being slower than everyone on the team/etc.... I disliked him tremendously throughout his years here. Then I looked back at his numbers for his career and realized I was way too hard on him
Definitely Zoltan for former players.
For current players, I think I would go with Lewan.
Just because the board reaction would be HILARIOUS.
Tom Brady for former. i suspect he would get +1d for double posting
So he can talk about how we take care of things in Saginaw.
Any past player that wasn't a star so we could get a real insight on how things really work for an average player. For a current player I would say any of the walk-ons/
I have been involved in music blogs where someone from the artist's "camp" or even the artist himself joins. It goes from lively discourse to an ass-kissing contest. Most of the posters are so desperate for the celebrity's approval that they go off on anyone who criticizes him.
I would like to think that mgoblog is a cut above that, but if anyone from the current team or coaching staff was here, the entire forum would turn into an ode to the "MANBALL" and "Michigan Man" memes, and anyone with a dissenting opinion would be negged into the stone age.
I don't agree with a lot of the stuff I see posted here, but we usually end up learning more from those with whom we disagree than those with whom we agree all of the time.
With whoever said Mike Martin. I feel like he would be one of those guys who tell it like it is.
That being said, I can't imagine a current player letting their presence be known on Mgoblog. People would probably view the fact that he follows the blog as a sign he's egotistical.
All available evidence suggests...
...that you're Mike Martin.
a) You're mentioning Mike Martin.
b) You compliment Mike Martin.
c) You try to lead us off the trail by saying that you can't imagine a current player making his presence known.
d) You imply that such a player would be egotistical, further attempting to lead us off the trail.
e) You had zero MGoPoints previously.
f) Your handle is "All-American," of which Michigan has very few potentials.
f) Your signature even says "It's A TRAP!!!"
Past: Desmond Howard. I love that guy. (I'm assuming he, like Herbstreit, have a read-only policy for the board and don't post.)
Current: Denard, Lewan, or MM would be my top 3 picks for "Guys who Have Interesting Things to Say."
Desmond and Lewan would both have awesome avitars. Hello: Heisman and a mustache would be perfect for them. Denard would be cool because it could just be some shoelaces.
Maybe we discovered Misopogon's secret alter ego.
It's funny you say that because in the mod thread he mentions working in the MSM. Granted, he said he was an editor, but it's probably much more likely that he's Desmond and made that part up to throw us off the trail.
I'd like to call Tyrelle Pryor.
Can we use his statements as confessions?
Wolverine - past -> Jake Long
Wolverine - present -> Mike Martin
that is all
I feel Lewan would join in on clever lol cat pics
Taylor Lewan...or Braylon Edwards.
Current-Molk with the assumption that he wil go fuckin all out and not half ass it.
I would say for past players Desmond Howard! and for current players I would say Will Campbell, heard that dude was funny as hell.