If Potential Michigan Coaches Were Chicks

58 posts / 0 new
Login or register to post comments
Last post
January 4th, 2011 at 11:22 AM
#1
seniorbearcat
seniorbearcat's picture
Joined: 08/18/2010
MGoPoints: 409
If Potential Michigan Coaches Were Chicks

 

Rich Rodriguez

 

Rodrguez is the Drunk Lion's Chick. Great body and a total hottie (Awesome Offense), but you best watch yourself or you might get cursed out and hit by a thrown beer bottle or batteries (Defense is defiantly a problem).

 

Chris Peterson

A hot Catholic Schoolgirl is what Chris Peterson is. Great body (Awesome Offensive ) and you'd definitely want to hook up with her (wins a lot of football games). She is the hottest by far out of all her friends but is untouchable. 

 

Jim Harbaugh

Jim Harbaugh is the girl that you'd give up body organs to sleep with (perfect fit for Michigan football coach?) but who constantly plays you like a fiddle because she knows you'll do anything to get with her. Unfortunately for you, the ball is in her court with all her options. 

 

Les Miles

Yep, Les Miles is the "Let go" chick. She started out as an absolutely hottie when you first started dating (2007 coaching search?), but damn is she letting herself go now that you've been married awhile (football is slipping and you’re not getting any younger).

 

Brady Hoke

Yep, you are the butterface of the bunch Brady. Don't get me wrong, you have some great assets (good football coach), but you don't have a very appealing face (Is your resume better than RR’s was 3 years ago?).

 

Pat Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald is the hot nerdy girl. She is a total nerd (academics) but has a banging body (done well as a head football coach at a school like Northwestern). Is that good enough for Michigan?

 

Jon Gruden

Ah Gruden. You are most certainly the "Legendary Cougar" of the potential coaches. The Legendary Cougar is still hot (lot of NFL people want him as a head coach), but the glory days are slowly drifting further and further away (NFL champ 8 years ago but average results thereafter). You have been out of coaching for 2 years, but who wouldn't want to hook up with her?

~I can put you in Queens on the night of the hijacking. 
~Really? I live in Queens. Did you put that together yourself, Einstein?

Top
Tags:

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 AM | Were you expecting baby (Score:1)
Blue Bennie
Blue Bennie's picture
Joined: 03/02/2009
MGoPoints: 139

Were you expecting baby chickens when you clicked on it?

January 4th, 2011 at 11:30 AM | I think the RR situation is (Score:1)
TNWolverine
TNWolverine's picture
Joined: 10/26/2010
MGoPoints: 1549

I think the RR situation is more like Shallow hal.  We were totally decieved....

"Only fat people wear hawaiian shirts in Tennessee" -co worker

January 4th, 2011 at 11:31 AM | great analogy dude...i gotta (Score:1)
beastcoastinc
Joined: 11/02/2010
MGoPoints: 33

great analogy dude...i gotta roll with you on that one

January 4th, 2011 at 11:43 AM | NSFKoss (Score:1)
elaydin
elaydin's picture
Joined: 04/17/2010
MGoPoints: 2199

NSFKoss

January 4th, 2011 at 11:24 AM | Well done! (Score:1)
MGoLiteral
Joined: 06/19/2010
MGoPoints: 1490

Well done!

January 4th, 2011 at 12:01 PM | BO must have been fucking Hot! (Score:1)
Young Pretty an...
Young Pretty and Heartless's picture
Joined: 09/21/2010
MGoPoints: 6293

But anyways

Charlie Weis

"Look up, get up, and don't ever give up"

January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 AM | Made... (Score:1)
umfan
umfan's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 130

Made me lol. You seriously need a job or something because this is too much. You have too much time on your hands.

UMfan. GO BLUE

January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 AM | I'm not at work, so I love (Score:1)
MichiganStudent
MichiganStudent's picture
Joined: 08/27/2008
MGoPoints: 2789

I'm not at work, so I love this. 

January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 AM | If that were the case, I'd (Score:1)
big10football
Joined: 01/03/2009
MGoPoints: 778

If that were the case, I'd take Peterson.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:35 AM | lovin me some (Score:1)
AllinforDG
AllinforDG's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
MGoPoints: 648

Megan Fox/ Jim Harbaugh.

Hello, 911? yeah it's Quagmire. yeah, I got it caught in the window this time. 

January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 AM | this is awesome (Score:1)
AllinforDG
AllinforDG's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
MGoPoints: 648

Really lovin the creativity.+1 to you sir.

Hello, 911? yeah it's Quagmire. yeah, I got it caught in the window this time. 

January 4th, 2011 at 11:27 AM | Heeeeeeeeeeeey there Pat (Score:1)
RadioSimon1983
Joined: 11/11/2009
MGoPoints: 550

Heeeeeeeeeeeey there Pat Fitzgerald

January 4th, 2011 at 11:38 AM | Pat Fitzgerald (Score:1)
Greg McMurtry
Greg McMurtry's picture
Joined: 02/25/2009
MGoPoints: 4040

is a very good looking...woman.

...confidence is the stain they can't wipe off...

January 4th, 2011 at 11:31 AM | Brady Hoke's tits are (Score:1)
토린
Joined: 04/07/2009
MGoPoints: 13897

Brady Hoke's tits are actually twice as big as that.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:34 AM | That left me with a terrible image (Score:1)
iawolve
iawolve's picture
Joined: 11/03/2008
MGoPoints: 2488

I might need to scrub the inside of my eyes with steel wool to remove that.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:31 AM | great! (Score:1)
beastcoastinc
Joined: 11/02/2010
MGoPoints: 33

this is great....i would even do the buttaface chick...with the lights on!!

January 4th, 2011 at 11:39 AM | This is the first thread (Score:1)
Bluestreak
Bluestreak's picture
Joined: 09/26/2010
MGoPoints: 1738

... that made me smile in the past 24 hours.

 

Also I'm glad that Joe Paterno is not on this thread

GMAT score =800 = Defensive POTY

January 4th, 2011 at 11:34 AM | What are we, (Score:1)
Feat of Clay
Feat of Clay's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 2877

What are we, fourteen?

/humorless

 

Candace: No... That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain-hurty things.
Phineas: Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
January 4th, 2011 at 11:46 AM | All men are 14. It is what it (Score:1)
Wendyk5
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 3131

All men are 14. It is what it is. 

January 4th, 2011 at 11:35 AM | A new low for the casual (Score:1)
MGoCards
Joined: 12/12/2009
MGoPoints: 717

A new low for the casual sexism that has come to dominate a once-classy forum.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:43 AM | I agree (Score:1)
OysterMonkey
OysterMonkey's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 2747

When will people figure out that broads don't like to be called "chicks"?

This has nothing to do with Michigan football.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:45 AM | Really? (Score:1)
bigmc6000
Joined: 01/12/2009
MGoPoints: 1113

Interesting, as I sent this to a few female UM grads and they all thought it was hilarious.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:50 AM | Ah, the old "it's not sexism (Score:1)
MGoCards
Joined: 12/12/2009
MGoPoints: 717

Ah, the old "it's not sexism if I can find a woman who thinks it's funny" trick. Works every time! Also, try out "some of my best friends are _______." I tell ya, these are like Kryptonite to someone who thinks they've pointed out something patently offensive. 

January 4th, 2011 at 12:02 PM | That's fair, but the "it must (Score:1)
WolvinLA2
WolvinLA2's picture
Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 17719

That's fair, but the "it must be offensive because I am offended and I don't care if no one else is" isn't real bulletproof either. 

Men are very interested in sports.  Men are very interested in women.  Sometimes they come together (see: cheerleaders). 

January 4th, 2011 at 12:11 PM | I hate cheerleaders. All they (Score:1)
BlockM
BlockM's picture
Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 25314

I hate cheerleaders. All they do is promote sexism.

@pnbloem | Ultra-MGoBoard

January 4th, 2011 at 12:14 PM | Sadly... (Score:1)
bigmc6000
Joined: 01/12/2009
MGoPoints: 1113

It depends on where you work but that's actually how it works in a lot of places. It only takes 1 person being offended even if it doesn't pass any common sense test.  Anyone can be offended about anything anymore and it doesn't matter if it doesn't pass this "seriously?" test.

January 4th, 2011 at 2:45 PM | Some men are interested in (Score:1)
MGoCards
Joined: 12/12/2009
MGoPoints: 717

Some men are interested in sports. Some men are interested in women. Some men don't think a football discussion needs to devolve into objectification, body snark, and hideously sexist terminology like "butterface."

January 5th, 2011 at 9:14 PM | I agree that I don't want (Score:1)
WolvinLA2
WolvinLA2's picture
Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 17719

I agree that I don't want MGoBlog to turn into "Tits Tits Titis" or the shit they put on Bleacher Report articles, but this was one thread and it was aptly titled.  Based on what you've said, you probably knew you'd be offended, but you clicked through anyway.  Like much of the internet, if you know it's not for you, stay away. 

And butterface is not a hideously sexist term.  A dude can totally be a butterface.  In fact, I'm pretty sure WifeinLA2 has called Paulie D a butterface before. 

January 5th, 2011 at 9:32 PM | Now you got me thinking, and (Score:1)
WolvinLA2
WolvinLA2's picture
Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 17719

Now you got me thinking, and I don't think "butterface" is even a put down.  Basically, you're saying, "The part of your appearance that you can control looks pretty damn good." 

January 4th, 2011 at 1:20 PM | wow (Score:1)
modaddy21
modaddy21's picture
Joined: 11/09/2009
MGoPoints: 1313

go away with your polically correct, I'm offended at everything crap.  How are you possibly offended by pictures like these.  Weird man, just weird.

January 4th, 2011 at 2:26 PM | You are baffled that someone (Score:1)
Feat of Clay
Feat of Clay's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 2877

You are baffled that someone might be offended?

I'm not offended; I'm in the "rolling my eyes, shrugging" camp.   But I'm surprised that you think no sane MGoBlogger could possibly object to photos being posted solely because they feature nice tits, with the occasional comment about how un-bangable the chick is given her wide ass or the mismatch between her barely-acceptable face and her primo funbags.  On a board that prides itself on being known for its intellectual & witty analysis of college football.

Fact is, some people would cock an eyebrow over it.  or even feel offended, or label if sexist.  Not all of them tomatoes with funbags of their own!  That's the "weird," "politically correct" world we live in, go figure.

 

Candace: No... That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain-hurty things.
Phineas: Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
January 18th, 2011 at 8:43 PM | you said (Score:1)
wigeon
wigeon's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 2747

primo funbags.  

Yes. 

 

 

Biz hundert azoi ve tsvantsik

January 4th, 2011 at 2:18 PM | you should add a /s to your pos (Score:1)
mtzlblk
Joined: 01/20/2009
MGoPoints: 204

to your post, with the 's' standing for sanctimonious.

Reactions like this are what give legitimate 'PC' concerns a bad name. Not everything is offensive and not everyone is offended by the same content.

There is room for humor, try it out sometime. People are people. As long as there have been human beings there have been girls that seek attention by wearing skimpy clothes and presenting themselves in a fashion that they believe will attract guys. Does that mean that all women are or should be like that? No. Does the post indicate that all women are and should be like that? No.

Your knee-jerk reaction to a simple post that takes a humored approach to comparing coaches to types of pretty girls, as if it was somehow offensive is exactly what makes it more difficult for people that are trying to actually make legitimate changes in people's perceptions. You take things too far and create an overall view of 'PC' as humorless, ridiculous and completely out of touch with reality.

In short:

-Changing terms from things like handicapped/disabled, or retarded, or whatever to something else, or perhaps not labeling them at all = good.

-Removing real systemic terms and biases to women and minorities = good

-overreacting to any and everything that is potentially offrensive to some group of people somewhere = bad

 

January 4th, 2011 at 12:18 PM | lighten up.  it's a joke.  i (Score:1)
Happy Jack
Happy Jack's picture
Joined: 10/31/2010
MGoPoints: 314

lighten up.  it's a joke.  i hate when people rail against obvious light hearted humor when there are real examples of sexism in the world.  let me put it this way,  richard pryor joking about white or black people isn't racist but beating up or killing someone because of their race is.  just like not hiring a woman or paying her less or treating her as inferior is sexist and this post isn't.  it's a joke, laugh a little.

January 4th, 2011 at 12:20 PM | lighten up.  it's a joke.  i (Score:1)
Happy Jack
Happy Jack's picture
Joined: 10/31/2010
MGoPoints: 314

lighten up.  it's a joke.  i hate when people rail against obvious light hearted humor when there are real examples of sexism in the world.  let me put it this way,  richard pryor joking about white or black people isn't racist but beating up or killing someone because of their race is.  just like not hiring a woman or paying her less or treating her as inferior is sexist and this post isn't.  it's a joke, laugh a little.

January 18th, 2011 at 7:35 PM | Nevermind. (Score:1)
Md23Rewls
Joined: 07/01/2008
MGoPoints: 478

Nevermind.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:35 AM | Les Miles (Score:1)
BornInAA
BornInAA's picture
Joined: 11/21/2009
MGoPoints: 3672

is more like crazy Lindsay Lohan.

I expect him to enter rehab soon for grass issues.

"Toke 'em... er,  I mean chew 'em if you got 'em boys!"

life is like a box of chocolates... and you got the Whizzo Quality Assortment

January 4th, 2011 at 11:36 AM | Also, the "Brady Hoke" woman (Score:1)
MGoCards
Joined: 12/12/2009
MGoPoints: 717

Also, the "Brady Hoke" woman isn't even ugly. 

January 4th, 2011 at 11:45 AM | You must be a student. (Score:1)
TJ
TJ's picture
Joined: 02/22/2010
MGoPoints: 551

You must be a student.

January 4th, 2011 at 12:46 PM | Is he drunk? (Score:1)
BongoMan
BongoMan's picture
Joined: 10/26/2010
MGoPoints: 244

OK, He's getting ridiculous. I'll get the bottle of Jack from him and you grab his keys. We cannot let him out of this house until this is over.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:39 AM | Peterson, hands down... (Score:1)
ND Sux
Joined: 10/01/2009
MGoPoints: 3131

although I'd do 'em all (not the actual coaches, their representative hotties!). 

Any thread featuring hotties without a lot of threads is a good one. 

"I promise you we would have walked to the University of Michigan."  - Brady Hoke

January 4th, 2011 at 11:42 AM | RR is like Ari's wife at the (Score:1)
DreadPower
Joined: 10/17/2010
MGoPoints: 1493

RR is like Ari's wife at the beginning of Entourage. She gets a lot hotter every season.

You ain't havin it? Good, me either. Let's get together and make the whole world believers.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:44 AM | If DB waits too long (Score:1)
htownwolverine
htownwolverine's picture
Joined: 09/02/2009
MGoPoints: 3362

we end up with this:

Who is Jon Falk?
January 4th, 2011 at 11:46 AM | I would have to go with Peterson (Score:1)
Crime Reporter
Crime Reporter's picture
Joined: 12/19/2008
MGoPoints: 8048

The Comic Con girl (Fitzgerald) is a close second. Nothing against Megan Fox but I like those two better.

Christ in me arise and dispel all the darkness.

January 4th, 2011 at 11:56 AM | Comic-con girl all the way... (Score:1)
BinaryStar
BinaryStar's picture
Joined: 01/04/2011
MGoPoints: 6

Nerdy but naughty at the same time... (does that mean NCAA violations?)

January 4th, 2011 at 12:03 PM | I don't know why, but I (Score:1)
BlockM
BlockM's picture
Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 25314

I don't know why, but I really really really hope we hire Pat Fitzgerald now...

That's a lie. I know exactly why.

@pnbloem | Ultra-MGoBoard

January 4th, 2011 at 1:26 PM | i didn't read (Score:1)
Coach Schiano
Coach Schiano's picture
Joined: 10/05/2008
MGoPoints: 3056

any of the words

I am not really Coach Schiano. -Coach Schiano on Mgoblog

January 4th, 2011 at 1:29 PM | Shit, I'd take that nerdy (Score:1)
Bb011
Joined: 09/02/2010
MGoPoints: 1745

Shit, I'd take that nerdy girl any day.

 

 

Actually after this thread  I'll just stay with the girl I already have(RR) and not risk getting shut down by the others to only have no one.

January 4th, 2011 at 3:32 PM | FITZ! FITZ! FITZ! (Score:1)
TheLastHoke
TheLastHoke's picture
Joined: 08/06/2008
MGoPoints: 3118

FITZ! FITZ! FITZ!

HOKEAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

Formerly, TheLastProphet

January 5th, 2011 at 9:02 PM | I didn't read this post (Score:1)
aaamichfan
aaamichfan's picture
Joined: 10/23/2009
MGoPoints: 14217

I didn't read this post yesterday when you made it, but this is hilarious. Nice work.

I would definitely still have some fun with the butterface.

Theme provided by Roopletheme; sidebars adapted from Chris Murphy.