If Potential Michigan Coaches Were Chicks

 

Rich Rodriguez

 

Rodrguez is the Drunk Lion's Chick. Great body and a total hottie (Awesome Offense), but you best watch yourself or you might get cursed out and hit by a thrown beer bottle or batteries (Defense is defiantly a problem).

 

Chris Peterson

A hot Catholic Schoolgirl is what Chris Peterson is. Great body (Awesome Offensive ) and you'd definitely want to hook up with her (wins a lot of football games). She is the hottest by far out of all her friends but is untouchable. 

 

Jim Harbaugh

Jim Harbaugh is the girl that you'd give up body organs to sleep with (perfect fit for Michigan football coach?) but who constantly plays you like a fiddle because she knows you'll do anything to get with her. Unfortunately for you, the ball is in her court with all her options. 

 

Les Miles

Yep, Les Miles is the "Let go" chick. She started out as an absolutely hottie when you first started dating (2007 coaching search?), but damn is she letting herself go now that you've been married awhile (football is slipping and you’re not getting any younger).

 

Brady Hoke

Yep, you are the butterface of the bunch Brady. Don't get me wrong, you have some great assets (good football coach), but you don't have a very appealing face (Is your resume better than RR’s was 3 years ago?).

 

Pat Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald is the hot nerdy girl. She is a total nerd (academics) but has a banging body (done well as a head football coach at a school like Northwestern). Is that good enough for Michigan?

 

Jon Gruden

Ah Gruden. You are most certainly the "Legendary Cougar" of the potential coaches. The Legendary Cougar is still hot (lot of NFL people want him as a head coach), but the glory days are slowly drifting further and further away (NFL champ 8 years ago but average results thereafter). You have been out of coaching for 2 years, but who wouldn't want to hook up with her?