If Potential Michigan Coaches Were Chicks
Rich Rodriguez
Rodrguez is the Drunk Lion's Chick. Great body and a total hottie (Awesome Offense), but you best watch yourself or you might get cursed out and hit by a thrown beer bottle or batteries (Defense is defiantly a problem).
Chris Peterson
A hot Catholic Schoolgirl is what Chris Peterson is. Great body (Awesome Offensive ) and you'd definitely want to hook up with her (wins a lot of football games). She is the hottest by far out of all her friends but is untouchable.
Jim Harbaugh
Jim Harbaugh is the girl that you'd give up body organs to sleep with (perfect fit for Michigan football coach?) but who constantly plays you like a fiddle because she knows you'll do anything to get with her. Unfortunately for you, the ball is in her court with all her options.
Les Miles
Yep, Les Miles is the "Let go" chick. She started out as an absolutely hottie when you first started dating (2007 coaching search?), but damn is she letting herself go now that you've been married awhile (football is slipping and you’re not getting any younger).
Brady Hoke
Yep, you are the butterface of the bunch Brady. Don't get me wrong, you have some great assets (good football coach), but you don't have a very appealing face (Is your resume better than RR’s was 3 years ago?).
Pat Fitzgerald
Fitzgerald is the hot nerdy girl. She is a total nerd (academics) but has a banging body (done well as a head football coach at a school like Northwestern). Is that good enough for Michigan?
Jon Gruden
Ah Gruden. You are most certainly the "Legendary Cougar" of the potential coaches. The Legendary Cougar is still hot (lot of NFL people want him as a head coach), but the glory days are slowly drifting further and further away (NFL champ 8 years ago but average results thereafter). You have been out of coaching for 2 years, but who wouldn't want to hook up with her?
January 5th, 2011 at 8:02 PM ^
I didn't read this post yesterday when you made it, but this is hilarious. Nice work.
I would definitely still have some fun with the butterface.
January 5th, 2011 at 8:16 PM ^
David Brandon should be asking Tom Brady about how to land a supermodel.
January 5th, 2011 at 8:33 PM ^
I'm sad to see RR go (if only we had a better defense / scheme these last 3 years)...still got 6 coaches in play up there.
January 7th, 2011 at 11:41 AM ^
I would have done better in school if everything was explained to me in this fashion.
January 7th, 2011 at 1:19 PM ^
2 have been eliminated...5 coaches still in the hunt!
January 7th, 2011 at 4:39 PM ^
3 down...4 left in the hunt. May have to come up with some more "coaches."
January 18th, 2011 at 5:13 PM ^
Butterface it is.
I can handle it.