And what's the point? This was neither clever nor interesting. It needs to be removed.
I need an OC for my PS2 team
Dear Rich Rod,
I am writing to you in hopes of acquiring your services. I am in need of an offensive genius to design and call plays for my playstation team. From what I've seen of your previous work experience, I think you'd be the perfect man for the job.
First let me tell you a little bit about the team. We've been playing dynasty mode for about 30 years now and we have yet to lose a single game. The average margin of victory is about 50 points. But that has sometimes ballooned as high 80 or 90 points when I have a nice class of seniors and a mobile QB.
My teams usually put up over 1000 yards per game, and hold the opponents to less than 200. You're probably wondering why I would need you if I can do that on my own. Well, frankly I feel like I'm leaving some points on field.
The reason I'm reaching out to you is that I'm having trouble running the read option. The mesh takes way too long to happen and those computerized DE's are very hard to fake out on heisman mode. Plus I'm not exactly sure about what button gives the ball to the RB. So usually the QB is eaten up for a 4 yard loss or a minor gain.
I also see that you're great at recruiting mobile QB's. I have trouble finding QB's that are faster than a 4.5 40 yard dash. And when I do, they tend to go to schools down south.
If you take the job, you will have to adjust to my head coaching style. For instance, I never punt, and I never kick field goals (except for one game of my kicker's senior season when I let him kick 8 or 9 FG's just to get him an award and a higher draft position). And every kickoff is an onside kick.
Don't worry about the defense, I don't. The computer does a good job. Usually I just control one really fast, if undersized DE and rush him from way outside the tackle. He hardly ever gets any sacks, and sometimes I give up big rushing yards, but that's ok. It just means I'll be on offense that much quicker. Defense is boring to watch, so I try to make sure they get off the field quick. In an ideal world, they'd never even play.
I think you'll fit right in. When it comes time to recruit, all emphasis is on offense. But the key to my success is by spending over half of my annual budget on player development. I don't put much into discipline. Instead, when a guy makes a little mistake, i suspend him for the year, kick him off the team, or just hope he transfers. There's no room on my couch for a guy like Dantonio who picks his players up from prison so that they can change into uniform on the drive to the stadium.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to pay you much. You're welcome to any leftover pizza I get on game days. And you can forget about me putting up money for your buyout. Still, if you don't win a 6th game this year, this might be one of the better offers you get.
Here for you to complain. Get a life!
Random. But I'll take it at this point.
Think there may be a few PS3 or Xbox offers out there though...
As someone still forced to play Ps2 football from time to time.
I appreciate this post.
Psh, use a DT instead. It causes way more disruption against those computerized interior linemen.
When in-season recruiting was as simple as changing percentages