I need help in PA

...they continue flooding my inbox and the sudden stop by my office to remind me visit...

Tell them to get back to work or you'll fire them. I can only assume you're their boss, seeing as you're (presumably) a Michigan grad and they're (presumably) PSU grads.

Has that not worked? And pictures of Alan Branch should scare the heck out of them. I think that's about all you need to say.

Didn't OSU pound Penn State two weeks ago?

Remind them that you are CHEESMO

Even the noblest steed in the Keystone State would dare not cross the mighty CHEESMO

I am in PA too. All of these options above help.  Some of these work for me:

WE ARE....OUT OF SLOGANS

Blue Band sucks.

Anything negative about JoePa, such as he is a mob boss, Milano bread jokes, etc.

They belong in the Big East.

Hope some of that helps.

Just tell them you really don't care, win or lose, you will watch the game and cheer on your team... Michigan is a young team continuing to develop.  We just went through a revolution, and now we're laying down the foundation for greatness...

What the hell is Penn State's excuse?  They've had the same coach for 100 years.

ASk them to remind you how Penn State has done against OSU.

Or this:

Or should I say, been 'here,' as in PA.

It all boils down to one word:

Inferiority.

Nit fans are like gnats.  They're always harmless but they get pesky and brave in large numbers.  I've also found that rival fans have no memory-- they act like they're 3-0 against us all time.

Just remember, their schadenfreude is simply a testimony to their fear of us.  Deep down they still fear the winged helmet-- they're just getting their money's worth now while they can.  Penn State fans have been, and always will be, plagued by an inferiority complex.

My advice for this week is to just make fun of the lame 'rivalry' they've tried to manufacture with Michigan State.  They'd LOVE to have a game, a rival, a spectacle that is as much a part of college football as THE GAME.  They have nothing that compares to OSU-UM, and they never will.  Inferiority.

"Go play your quote/unquote rivalry."

"Don't you have a land grant to play for?"  (perhaps followed up with) "How freakin' lame is that?"

"Good luck at the kids table bowl this weekend..."

How about, "Can I have 1 more second to think of a comeback? ... Thank you ... TOUCHDOWN MANNINGHAM!"

Really? I have found they are mutual in their hatred of OSU. Every time I drive through that state with my license plate (see avatar) I get about a thousand horn-honks followed by thumbs up's.

their 2005 schedule:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005_Penn_State_Nittany_Lions_football_team#Schedule

I've read too many UFRs - I first read this headline as "I need help in playaction." 

The key is to really sell the run fake.

I remind them that their 3-9 record in the last 12 years is nothing to sing about, especially when it is against historically weak Michigan teams.

My Dad , Grandfather and Uncle are PSU grads. First they hate the fact that I went to Michigan. So here is what works best for me against my family and my friends.

1. Get a rival

2. Go cry to the refs

3. Where is your pink PSU flag ? ( Penn st used to have pink in the colors)

4. Were you even alive the last time Penn St won a national title?

5. Atleast my coach didn't poop his pants when my team played Ohio St.

I hope this helps out. I'm from PA and I left after high school for Michigan and moved to Florida after that so I know how these clowns are.

First, I think most opposing fans in the Big Ten are secretly worried that Michigan won't fire Rodriguez -- that's a big part of the reason why any talk about it generates so much media buzz (people other than Michigan fans care about it) -- and that with an even mediocre defense the offense gets a lot more chances to put away games (instead of trying to keep us from getting blown out, their current role).

We don't see Penn State again until 2013, right? So I'd play into the fear of Rodriguez succeeding that many opposing fans are loathe to admit, saying something like "Okay, yeah, Devin Gardner will be happy to show you Denard's Heisman and our shiny new national-championship trophy when you come to Ann Arbor in 2013." [They'll laugh, but deep down they'll be afraid you're right.]

Second, I'd remind them that starting next year, they are going to have to get past Ohio State to win their division and have a chance to play us for the Big Ten championship. I would rather have been in a division with both OSU and PSU, but as it stands it is what it is. I think I'd phrase it like this, "We don't play next year, but maybe we'll meet in Indianapolis? Good luck with that!"

Move.  That's what I'm doing.

No?  Not going to happen?  Ask them why they won't play Pitt.  Or ask them if Penn State plays anything besides football.

anything, really. Just ramble on for 5 minutes about pudding. They think Joe Paterno is a GOD for doing the same thing.