I know who our next DC should be!

Yoda.

Really, when you think about it, it's obvious.  A list of attributes:

1.  He has experience being outnumbered by an evil empire.  With just two remaining Jedi Knights, he never gave up and eventually defeated the Emperor.  Yes, I know it took over 20 years, but we've already waited 7.

2.  He has fought against Storm Troopers, which will help us next time we play Penn State at home.  Also, he's about the same size and age as Paterno, so that will be a nice story.

3.  He coaches up his talent.  Most Jedi Knights start their training as small children.  Yoda didn't get a hold of Luke Skywalker until near adulthood and turned him into a Jedi powerful enough to turn Darth Vader back to the good side and resist the Emperor's will.

4.  Speaking of which, good with youth.  Since we'll still be starting a lot of sophomores next year, that should help.

5.  Understands how to battle larger opponents.  Enough with "this won't work in the Big Ten" talk.  Yoda is about 3 feet tall and repeatedly defeats opponents twice his size or more.

6.  Recruiting advantage.  Yoda has good relationships with the Wookies, which will really help our defensive line.

7.  Complete change from GERG.  Especially in the hair department. 

8.  Can speak directly into the players' minds when they are on the field.  I don't think there is any rule against using the force during a play.

9.  Lived in a swamp for the last 30 years of his life, so he can deal with wet weather.

Cons:

1.  He's green.  State fans will jump on this.  I do think, however, that when he does appear visually, it looks pretty blue, so it should be ok.

2.  He died a long, long time ago.  Given #8 above, however, that may turn to our advantage.

I think we have a solution here.  Get his agent on the phone.