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How do I explain it?

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July 4th, 2010 at 1:44 AM
#1
mgoblueballer
Joined: 08/02/2009
MGoPoints: -284
How do I explain it?

So I was at my first pre-marital counseling session the other day with my fiance'. Our "counselors" are a mentor couple whom we know well and have an established relationship with. My fiance'  was asked about something that I am passionate about. She replied, "Michigan Football. . . I know on Saturday afternoons in the fall he's going to be watching the games, and we will be going to some games together. But I know that if Michigan is playing bad, I need to just let him be alone for a couple hours after the game. Then we're fine"  I nodded and agreed. The other woman seemed confused and slightly annoyed by the fact thatI take a sport so seriously that it would affect my mood and also that my fiance' was so accepting of it. She asked us "I dont get it, why do you care so much?"  I didnt really know what to say, I have never had to explain it. My fiance' has never asked me to explain my fanaticism for Michigan Football, she has just accepted it and gone along with it (and says she has come to enjoy it too). I could have explained being raised in a family where there is no question about what happens on saturday afternoons in the fall, I could have explained the euphoria that is felt when you walk into the Big House and hear the drumline in the distance. I could have explained the Rose Bowls, the championships and the countless beatings of "Little Brother". But I didnt, I was content that my fiance' gets me and that I dont need to explain it to anyone else.

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July 4th, 2010 at 1:48 AM
#2
Mirasola
Mirasola's picture
Joined: 09/18/2009
MGoPoints: 635
You're lucky you just have a

You're lucky you just have a "problem" with football.  My fiancee loves football but doesn't care much for basketball - it took her a few games to leave me alone this season after some of the devasting losses we took.  I wanted to cry and shoot myself after Lucas hit a wide open shot when Beilein decided to go into zone for the last posession AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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July 4th, 2010 at 2:02 AM
#3
jonny_GoBlue
jonny_GoBlue's picture
Joined: 09/05/2009
MGoPoints: 4541
Does your fiance' by any

Does your fiance' by any chance have a sister?

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July 4th, 2010 at 4:26 AM
(Reply to #3) #4
mgoblueballer
Joined: 08/02/2009
MGoPoints: -284
yeah. . . but

yeah, but she's 17.

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July 4th, 2010 at 4:44 AM
(Reply to #6) #5
offskooring
Joined: 08/01/2009
MGoPoints: 436
she's only 17

"she's only 17, daddy says she too young, but she's old enough for me"---Winger

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July 4th, 2010 at 9:19 AM
(Reply to #6) #6
learmanj
learmanj's picture
Joined: 08/28/2009
MGoPoints: 1949
She's "only 17" for a little

She's "only 17" for a little longer....

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July 4th, 2010 at 11:04 AM
(Reply to #6) #7
Monocle Smile
Monocle Smile's picture
Joined: 09/17/2009
MGoPoints: 12243
That's what I like about these high school girls

i get older, they stay the same age.

 

/Matthew McConaughey

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July 4th, 2010 at 5:09 PM
(Reply to #15) #8
Braylon1
Braylon1's picture
Joined: 02/02/2009
MGoPoints: 450
if there's grass on the

if there's grass on the field, play ball

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July 5th, 2010 at 7:40 PM
(Reply to #34) #9
IndyBlue
IndyBlue's picture
Joined: 09/13/2008
MGoPoints: 956
and if not...

play in the mud.

 

Let the negbanging commence...

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July 4th, 2010 at 2:31 AM
#10
I miss Spring Lake
I miss Spring Lake's picture
Joined: 06/16/2009
MGoPoints: 579
Last line

Your last line says it all.  You're not hurting anybody, and as long as your wife-to-be is cool with it, then it doesn't matter what your premarital counselors think.  If they have some good advice, by all means, take it.  Otherwise, continue celebrating Saturdays as they were meant to be celebrated.

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July 4th, 2010 at 3:01 AM
#11
mtzlblk
mtzlblk's picture
Joined: 01/20/2009
MGoPoints: 2067
you guys should be mentoring

....them, if they as a couple don't allow each other to be passionate about something without needing to rationalize it in some way

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July 4th, 2010 at 8:14 AM
#12
Noahdb
Joined: 07/21/2008
MGoPoints: 477
football

In a society that tends to "normalize" (and I mean that in the audio-editing sense of the word) male emotions, a sport like football gets to be the proxy for the primal part of our brains that still need to gather together as a tribe, do something violent, and then hoot about it.

Yes, it's silly. So is buying a purebred dog when there are dozens of perfectly good, healthy, smart ones down at the pound that are going to be killed because no one wants them. Did your counselors bring that sh** up too? DId the woman who "didn't get it" have some a couple of pieces of metal in her ears and some stuff dangling off of them? That's pretty stupid. Was she wearing heels? Doesn't get any dumber than that.

My wife likes to watch that ONE movie that they always show on Lifetime. Ya know...the one where the mean man does something heartless and the plucky woman picks herself up by her bootstraps and carves out a great life for herself and her kids? That's only thing that ever plays on Lifetime. They just recast the same movie over and over.

This is why we have more than one TV.

If Michigan loses and you knock a hole in the wall and melt down and challenge three people to a fight....well, you don't, because otherwise you wouldn't be getting married. And you'd be a Notre Dame fan.

But if Michigan loses and you pout for a bit and drink a beer and say a four-letter word and then get on with your life, that just means your testicles and your heart are hooked up to the right places and still work. Tell that counselor that lick your balls, go have sex with your fiancee, and look forward your life together.

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July 4th, 2010 at 9:03 AM
(Reply to #8) #13
Sven_Da_M
Sven_Da_M's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2165
ummm, which one?

... the OP's "counselor" is a "mentor couple." 

And to the OP: this "counseling" is just something to get through and learn from.  As you suggest it's not about trying to make someone who isn't a Michigan football fan understand.  Smile, nod, thank them, get their sign-off and move on.  Sounds like your finance is a keeper, that's the important thing and good luck...

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July 4th, 2010 at 2:09 PM
(Reply to #8) #14
chunkums
chunkums's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 13665
EPIC!

EPIC!

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July 4th, 2010 at 3:43 PM
(Reply to #8) #15
His Dudeness
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: -104
seconded

seconded

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July 4th, 2010 at 8:03 PM
(Reply to #8) #16
meals69
meals69's picture
Joined: 07/25/2008
MGoPoints: 1272
Well said!

Well said!

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July 4th, 2010 at 9:11 AM
#17
Carcajous
Joined: 07/05/2009
MGoPoints: 1896
You can't "explain" your

You can't "explain" your passions.  That's what makes them passions.  

There is a famous article in psychology (written by a former UM professor, Bob Zajonc) called "Feeling and Thinking:  Preferences Need No Inferences" that hits the mark here.  Your passions are independent of rational thought.

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July 4th, 2010 at 9:28 AM
#18
GoMBlue
GoMBlue's picture
Joined: 07/17/2008
MGoPoints: 1050
17

if there is grass on the field, play ball

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July 4th, 2010 at 9:37 AM
(Reply to #12) #19
Double Nickel BG
Double Nickel BG's picture
Joined: 02/04/2009
MGoPoints: 398
and if theres not

flip it over and play in the mud.

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July 4th, 2010 at 11:29 AM
(Reply to #12) #20
Monocle Smile
Monocle Smile's picture
Joined: 09/17/2009
MGoPoints: 12243
17

gets you 20.

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July 4th, 2010 at 3:08 PM
(Reply to #21) #21
Hail2Michigan
Joined: 03/25/2010
MGoPoints: 59
Nay, 16 gets you 20.

Nay, 16 gets you 20.

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July 4th, 2010 at 10:42 AM
#22
MidMichWolverine1
MidMichWolverine1's picture
Joined: 03/26/2010
MGoPoints: 489
On my wedding

day, at the reception, I sat out in the limo with a friend and one of my brothers and we watched Michigan play Minnesota on the limo TV.....someone had to come out and get me for the dinner, etc....new wife was not impressed, but she now knows that on Saturday in the fall, don't expect too much out of me until AFTER the game....

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July 4th, 2010 at 1:00 PM
(Reply to #14) #23
Milwaukee_MGoBlue
Milwaukee_MGoBlue's picture
Joined: 11/22/2008
MGoPoints: 265
That's why

you should get married in the spring/summer.

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July 4th, 2010 at 10:00 PM
(Reply to #25) #24
Noahdb
Joined: 07/21/2008
MGoPoints: 477
Indeed...

People who get married on Saturdays in the Fall don't want you as their friend.

Several years ago, someone I knew in college was getting married in September. I didn't go to the wedding and when they got back, their now-wife asked why I didn't come.

I explained that I had tickets to a game with my dad that day. I had started cooking stuff for a tailgate lunch at 7 a.m. I got home from the game around 5 p.m. and then spent the evening munching on leftovers and watching football until about midnight with my old man. It had truly been a great day. It was one of those really special times where I got to hang out with my dad, having fun, and speaking to one and relating to one another as adults. 

The wife still didn't understand why I didn't come to the wedding.

"I got you a blender. In fact, I bought you a HELL of a nice blender that was way nicer than the one you registered for. I took you guys out to dinner before the wedding. The NIGHT before the wedding, I bought your husband two beers and wished him well. I went by your house while you were on your honeymoon and gathered up the newspapers and brought your mail inside. Even though you didn't ask me to, I washed the stupid shaving cream off your car and cleaned up those beer cans and condoms people had stuck on it. Your wedding ceremony was what....20 minutes long? Did you need my help? Did you even notice I wasn't there? Had I not sent my regrets, would you have even known??"

She said, "So you chose FOOTBALL over us?"

Needless to say, these are not people I speak to anymore.

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July 4th, 2010 at 11:04 AM
#25
Blue Blue Blue
Blue Blue Blue's picture
Joined: 06/20/2010
MGoPoints: -999451
some marital counselor: a woman who doesnt get sports

"I dont get it.  Why do you care so much?"  from a marriage counselor?    what are you seeing......students who are interning for summer?

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July 4th, 2010 at 11:17 AM
#26
Mongoose
Mongoose's picture
Joined: 12/18/2008
MGoPoints: 749
I think that everyone has

I think that everyone has totally illogical things they do that cannot be explained by anything, especially not at this point in life (presuming that everyone here is at least, say, 16 years into life). To act like everything we do is totally rational and that emotion is not involved at all is not only false, it's unhealthy and dangerous-one shouldn't beat oneself up just because something they do is irrational. Many things that everyone does are irrational. If someone were to think in coldly rational terms, and not utilize emotion at all, they would labeled a sociopath. I'll bet both members of this other couple, along with your wife, do plenty of things that do not make any sense to anyone who does not know them or the situation. And that's perfectly okay, as long as they're not damaging anything, or harming their relationships with others. Since it sounds like your fiancé is okay with all of this, I don't see much of a problem there.

Plus, as the great philosopher Ulysses Everett McGill once said: "It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

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July 4th, 2010 at 12:30 PM
#27
PurpleStuff
PurpleStuff's picture
Joined: 04/21/2009
MGoPoints: 15963
Mike Gundy said it best

If this "counselor" questions you again, just shout, "I'm a man!" and storm out of the room. 

No further explanation will be needed and in the future the other three people in the room can direct their energy toward something productive, like fixing you an authentic Reuben sandwich, rather than asking stupid, pointless questions.

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July 4th, 2010 at 12:47 PM
(Reply to #23) #28
Mongoose
Mongoose's picture
Joined: 12/18/2008
MGoPoints: 749
Yeah, really, that's only, at

Yeah, really, that's only, at the very most, what, 4 hoursx14 games? (14 games-conference championship and bowl game-so absolute most) That's 56 hours in a year that has 8,760 hours (not counting leap years).

 

Also, I always read your username as "extreme OJ"

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July 4th, 2010 at 6:21 PM
(Reply to #27) #29
GreyJello
GreyJello's picture
Joined: 02/17/2009
MGoPoints: 2588
Make sure you spell it Xtreme

Make sure you spell it Xtreme so all the kids know how EXTREME da OJ is. Ya dig?

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July 4th, 2010 at 6:41 PM
(Reply to #23) #30
goblueritzy92
goblueritzy92's picture
Joined: 01/26/2009
MGoPoints: 3524
Whipped much?

Whipped much?

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July 4th, 2010 at 1:38 PM
#31
maizenbluenc
maizenbluenc's picture
Joined: 07/21/2009
MGoPoints: 7931
Find out what she is afraid

Find out what she is afraid of (mice, rats, spiders, snakes, etc.). Bring one to the next session in a box. Scare her with it, and then ask her to explain why in rational terms.

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July 4th, 2010 at 4:00 PM
#32
His Dudeness
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: -104
Tell Mrs. Stupidy Head knock

Tell Mrs. Stupidy Head knock knock then she'd say who's there and then you say you're a fuckin' idiot and fuck off. That's what I'd do.

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July 4th, 2010 at 6:07 PM
(Reply to #33) #33
mgoblueballer
Joined: 08/02/2009
MGoPoints: -284
no, and no. 

no, and no. 

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July 5th, 2010 at 12:52 AM
#34
Michigasling
Michigasling's picture
Joined: 11/21/2009
MGoPoints: 7232
Fortunately you're not marrying the counselor,

Just your lovely and understanding fiancee. 

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July 5th, 2010 at 10:41 AM
#35
Magnus
Magnus's picture
Joined: 07/17/2008
MGoPoints: 123042
I wonder if that "counselor"

I wonder if that "counselor" also asks the same questions about women's passions for "Grey's Anatomy" or "Sex and the City" or "The Biggest Loser" or "Oprah" or . . .

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July 6th, 2010 at 12:56 AM
#36
Transatlantic Flight
Transatlantic Flight's picture
Joined: 07/30/2009
MGoPoints: 1057
Why? Our helmet has wings.

Why? Our helmet has wings. That's why.

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