Are they going to be spiked with alcohol?
Hoke promises free donuts to students before noon games
Clam chowder!!! Hell, someone bring some subs.
RCMB will have a field day with this one.
Not that I care.
(Doesn't matter: Have donuts)
This sounds deliciously homer.
Exactly what i was thinking. The idea of coach Hoke having to contain himself around thousands of donuts is probably the most popular thread on RCMB today.
- They are going to make their "Hoke is fat" jokes regardless. MSU fans are stupid and unimaginative.
- Their coach is the one with the heart problems, so....take the board out of your eye.
- Long term, Hoke is going to own MSU.
How the heck are they to be handed out? at the gate? Boxes on the bleachers? A fighter jet flying overhead and dropping a cascade of donuts at 700 mph?
I'm picturing donuts being thrown in the air after the 1st Michigan touchdown.
Donuts stack nicely in the t-shirt cannon.
I hear they're working a JDDM -Joint Direct Donut Munitions to deliver them laser guided.
Devin and Shane will be launching them into the front rows while Wile and Gibbons punt and kick them to the rows further back
If he had the donuts on his finger, while pointing at students to take them, I would say that would be, tremendous.
I read this in a Hank Hill voice and it was fantastic.
Is a capital idea.
Subs would be so much more effective.
Don't be crazy.
This exchange made me really happy.
I read this and the first thing that popped into my head was" The Michigan Difference". Don't get me wrong, Hot Chocolate with Baileys is right up my ally at this stage of life, just probably not when I was in college. I would have gone with Hot Chocolate and something a little stronger.
I forget what it is called, but on a few noon games when its really cold out, we sometimes start the day with a nice drink with coffee, hot chocolate, rum, and baileys.
I won't give away the main ingredient of the four, but it rhymes with rum.
Sounds like an interesting cocktail recipe.
"I won't give away the main ingredient of the four, but it rhymes with rum."
That doesn't sound so great.
Good, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I was incredibly apprehensive, but it was smooth. I looked it up; it's Jamacain coffee or some variation.
2 shots rum, 2 of coffee, one of each baileys and hot chocolate!
Break it down for a guy who's watching everything whiz over his head?
a few drunk sorority girls who would be interested in, ahhh, the "alternate" recipe.
Woohoo!! First tenet I live by is not to turn down free food.
Awesome.....awesome to the max.
Steaming hot coffee too? It can get pretty cold early on a November morning. The combination of caffeine and sugar will make for one loud student section.
Leaders and best
I wish I was still in school. I hope they are from Washtenaw Dairy.
Michelle: [holds up box of donuts] Want one?
Tommy: I'd better not. I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem. I used to grab bear claws as a kid, two at a time, and I'd get them lodged right in this region here.
Tommy Boy! Thank you for this. Now I've spent the last 20 minutes watching Chirs Farley clips on youtube.
Just watched Beverly Hills Ninja last night. I'm a pretty big Farley fan.
None of the students care about donuts, we want to tailgate with our friends and sit with our friends too without waiting in line for hours. Going into my senior year, I have waited my time and want my seating group near the field.
Just get there early. No lines. Sit with your friends, wherever you want.
No, it's okay, you are getting a 1-2 dollar donut for your time in line.
It's not about the fans? It is a little though, right?
Only if you're 40 years old and can afford front row seats. Otherwise, screw you plebians.
It's mainly about the players, though.
But Fans = Revenue, and Revenue = Facilities+Coaches = Players, and Players = Wins = Fans.
So really, Fans = Revenue = Players.
The game is, yes. But I meant the seating system (assigned vs GA). That's pretty much about the fans.
Maybe not the start time issue, but the YouTube generation (as mentioned in the other Sorority DrunkSlut thread), that they somehow consider Row A premiere seating, which the rest of us (Class of '87 here) passed on their way onto the field to pull goalposts down (in a drunken frenzy, admittedly). The current generation of students want their 15 minutes of fame, borne of watching from really awful vantage points, via 5 seconds of post-game photography or video from the team celebrations/singing of Hail to the Victors...
Here on mgo, we've made Lloyd Brady and Facepalm Guy actual t-shirted memes. Which student WOULDN'T want that kind of fame/infamy/fame?
Anybody call his donut? Cuz I got first dibs
Dude, let me tell you as someone who sat there. Unless you're in the first 2 rows it's really not that much better than the 20th row.
Also, am I missing something? Why is everyone complaining about lines?? The lines will be the same as they always were, it's just that the people in the back of the line no longer get to be in the front of their section.
If I was a student I'd put forth a little extra effort to get there on time.
Will there be punch too? If so, I'm applying for graduate school today!
[Edit: People apparently don't get the reference to free punch. Can someone help me out with the link to the comment about getting people to join him outside Schembechler Hall by offering punch?]
[Update: Nevermind, found it myself. Classic. http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/lets-protest-front-schembechler-hall-borges-firing ]
I can see it now. North end zone littered with dounuts instead of marshmallows after the first ball call from one of the inept B1G refs.
Bacon. Bacon wrapped glazed donuts.
Bacon is the world's perfect food - ultimate hangover killer.
and having trouble finding part time work,
you might want to walk over to Dimo's deli & donuts. After Hokes announcement something tells me they will be hiring soon
I would be early to every game. Kickoff is always an amazing moment to start a game! To me its like the sound of a war horn commencing battle. LET ME HEAR YOU RAWR!!!!!!!!!!
First, the Athletic Department makes a big deal out of the pathetic student-section attendance/arrivals. Just the sort of p.r. we are always looking for.
Next, they come up with what I can only imagine is one of the worst imaginable "solutions," guaranteeed to make almost everyone upset; General Admission. Likely to only compound an earlier departmental mistake, which was to expand the amount of student seating in the first place. I'll bet a dozen glazed donuts that "General Admission" doesn't solve anything.
And now, they self-troll the world wide web with what must make the content-writers at Eleven Warriors very angry. Stealing their best lines. It would have seemed too obvious to Ramzy & Co., if they had made this up on their own; Brady Hoke promising glazed donuts to students at noon games, to get them there on time.
Isn't this just a textbook example of how not to manage the Michigan football brand? The overweight head football coach jokingly promising glazed donuts to disaffected students who just might need to be bribed, in order to wake up before noon on a Saturday morning to drag themslves up to Main Street to watch the football team?
I think Section 1 might be overreacting a bit (not the 1st time)
your reaction to this might be worse than the actual news itself.
Why does everyone have their panties in a collective bunch about this being fodder for OSU and MSU fans making fat jokes? RCMB and 11W were going to try and fail at being funny in that regard anyways.
I think this is a pretty cool gesture by Hoke to reach out to the fans - it's kinda like Paterno and Mike Krz-howeveryouspellit getting pizzas for students camped out for tickets at Penn State and Duke except that Hoke is neither an pedo-enabler or hypocritical corporate shill that looks like a goblin.
So far the only people it's pissed off is students, and mainly senior students. Polls show the public loves it. And a kind public gesture to offer kids a treat is seen as just that by the 99% of the population who wouldn't even know what an "Eleven Warriors" is, and even if they did, couldn't care less.
I'm guessing it's only a "PR nightmare" to those looking for any opportunity to find something wrong with the athletic department....
So we now have Departmental interns announcing ticketing and admissions intiatives, via their Twitter accoutns?
I don't even believe that this cockamamie scheme is real.
Intern Laura appears to have overheard Hoke making a comment about donuts. Zach Helfand beat me to it, asking her if she was serious about the Tweet. Is this a real offer? Srsly?
And Intern Laura's response was the confidence-inspiring, "pretty sure." Followed up with some of the hardest documentary evidence of seriousness that anyone could gather today; Hoke used to buy donuts "while riding a bike to football games back in the day. .."
Huh?!? Here are the Twitters:
Word from Coach Hoke: Free glazed donuts for all students before noon home games.
So there. Proof positive.
I don't think that anybody ran this by, uh, Mr. Brandon. Or anyone else in the Department who can, like, write checks.
The part that I find so ironic is that the The Donut Plan isn't likely to do much of anything except make the bottleneck at the North entry gates to the Stadium worse than ever. One thing that I have been remarking on for a couple of years is that the students all jam up at that entry gate, and with modern security concerns, that entry-gate slowness is probably the biggest reason of all, that students are not inside the Stadium when kickoff time arrives. I have actually tended to give the students a break on that fact; it is not entirely their fault that they keep missing kickoffs, when they have to wait 20 minutes at the entry gate. That problem might get even worse, with a massive dounut stand added to the mess.
This is such a laughably terrible idea, from start to finish. I am starting the clock now on how long it will be before the responsible adults at 1000 South State Street start to walk back this preposterous idea.
Why are so grumpy?
If that's all there is backing this up as an actual thing.
The Michigan Daily updates the story:
UPDATE: Associate Athletic Director Dave Ablauf said Wednesday that “nothing has been determined in terms of quantity, etc.” but he added that Hoke “has always been a proponent of students arriving early, and he wants to do something to incentivize the group.”
Translation: We had no idea this blurted out thing was going to become a real thing. Now, so that we don't leave Coach Hoke hanging out there like a complete fool, we think we may be able to get our stadium coffee vendor, Tim Horton's, to help us out with 1000 free donuts for the first 1000 students... We'll get back to you as soon as we have been able to dream up some way out of this and can give you some details which, yeah, we know will only give this goofy story another couple of news cycles' worth of infamy...
It doesn't much matter. The problem isn't the first 1000 or first 10,000 students through the turnstiles. The problem is the last 5,000 or 10,000. They really don't need to bribe most students to go to a football game. The problem is getting them, all of them, there on time. And getting the last ones to go at all.
A treat for the first ones through the gate isn't going to be any more productive than general admission seating.
is who cares what the public thinks about GA when it isn't directly affecting them?
I could see the attendance problem being a "big deal" if one of the following conditions were true:
1) We are losing our homefield advantage.
2) It is negatively affecting the in-game experience of recruits who come to see a game at the Big House, or the negative image is making recruits wary of coming.
3) We lose the 100k attendance streak.
Now, until the Mathlete shows me that we are doing wayyy worse on opening drives compared to schools that don't have early-game attendance issues (standardized for opponents and team efficiency stats), I'm gonna assume 1 isn't happening because we are undefeated at home over the last two seasons.
Again, unless someone shows recruiting is being affected, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's not given our recent drastic recruiting improvements.
And the attendance streak isn't affected by on-time arrivals, it's determined by how many people show up whenever they want to.
In conclusion, here is my point: everybody is lambasting these "entitled" current students for whining about GA, when in reality the only issue is that alums and fans--many of whom cannot relate one iota to current students--are whining over the fact that when they watch michigan football on their tv's at home, the stadium isn't full because students are doing whatever the hell they want to do.
The affect is monumental.
The affected patrons will never come back.
The disaffected students will lose more interest in Michigan football.
The change will effect the students, and they might lose interests in Michigan football.
This seems like a less effective solution than a monitored points system.
This policy effecting the student body will blow over in time, and a new problem of the real power players decreasing the SS by an entire section to bolster ticket profits.
The affect effects the effective affect.
That first one is wrong, as is the fourth. I'm not clear on the sixth...
"Likely to only compound an earlier departmental mistake, which was to expand the amount of student seating in the first place"
I keep hearing this, and it's dumb. All students who want one and can pay up are guaranteed a student season ticket - there is not a lottery and nobody gets turned down. The size of the student section is entirely a function of how many students purchase season tickets.
Key words "to accommodate the large number of requests". It was expanded because there were students purchasing tickets. If students are not purchasing tickets it will shrink. DB is not sitting on unsold seats just to make sure the "student section" is a given size.
The point is that all students are accommodated as a policy. It's not as if 1000 students were being turned away every year and they finally gave in and added to the student section. They didn't decide anything, other than where to stick the students they had already guaranteed seats.
Those seats and then Brandon had us move. This is on him just like all those lousy unis and that stupid Neil Diamond song blaring. Another dumb move.
Isn't it supposed to happen this off-season?
Fine, don't get any donuts then. Damn.
I agree with the comment that we are blessed to watch Michigan football and there is no bad seat in the Big House, but it's principle. Upperclassmen before us had to wait their time to get closer to the field and we have waited ours. I, personally, am always in the stadium nearly an hour to 45 minutes prior to game time. I like watching warm-ups and love watching the band come out of the tunnel. I don't get the students that don't show up on time because there is no excuse for it.
For a problem with GA seating, all you have to do is look at the MSU student section. Granted they aren't nearly as good of fans as us since they are a 'basketball' school, but the upper bowl is never full. If students know they aren't going to be close to the field, they simply decide to keep drinking and not show up. I fear that may happen here at Michigan, too. We shall see, but I have a feeling the GA idea may get revoked or at least I'm going to pray for it.
I can only imagine how much cannon fodder this will give MSU and OSU fans......
With all due respect... Who gives a fuck?
Shut up Nucky
Is this some kind of cheat for The Simpsons: Tapped Out?
In all reality, for all the hand-wringing the students are doing about this, it will probably end up just fine. After a few games, a new routine will solidify, everyone will pretty much figure out how to get to where they want to be, and that'll be that.
If I were them, I'd be bitching far more about the ticket price increase than anything else. If that's the method Athletics picked to weed out the fairweathers, it's a pretty shitty way to do it. They don't need the cash that makes up the difference. Most students probably could.
If I were a student I wouldn't bitch about anything as it relates to Michigan home games.
Smile. Laugh. Have a little fun. Blow off some steam. Go to games and support your team. Best years of your life.
Perspective creeping out? Really though i completely agree. At that price for all those games you are miles ahead of the game (no pun) either way.
but, what the hell? I loved football when I was at Michigan and did not need a donut to go to a game. Just don't get season tickets if you don't like it. Watch it on T.V. Quit complaining about the seating, the time, blah, blah blah. Why does anyone need to offer Donuts to go to a game? What is wrong with this world? I also, for the record, was in a sorority and did not show up to every game loaded or late. (sorry for the rant, I think the weather is getting to me. Anyone see the snow today? Srsly, what. the. hell.)
Yeah, the whole non-attendance thing seems crazy to me. I wasn't even that big of a football fan in college (much bigger one now), and I was there for every game, sober, and ready to cheer. It was the highlight of the week in the fall.
Wendy! I've been wanting to see you on here....Did you sign up for football academy? If you did, can you ask to be on my team or with us somehow? There are just 3 of us....I couldn't think of a name, so we are "friends of Lennay Kukua". See you there, hopefully...
For big games in the past, I recall there being rally towels and flags (for all fans) which typically ran out before kick off. So I suppose this kind of thing isn't new, but it can't hurt to advertise these things to entice students to arrive before kick off.
What is that, like $2.50 off of the season ticket price?
a fat guy giving out "free" donuts. Remember, nothing is "free" when you're paying these prices for tickets.
Just what the people of MI need is more donuts.
They should be handing out carrots or something.
Glazed doughnuts really aren't a bad choice...Compared to something like a bagel or the delicious eggs hash browns sausage hangover combo...Wash it down with a carton of skim milk and a pinch of benefibre and you're probably hitting most of your nutritional benchmarks...
Just like in the early 90s when the student section end zone was litered with marshmallows, now they'll be full of Eclairs and Bostom Creams!!!
I got pegged in the head once back then by a rock hard stale marshmallow and boy did it sting....
Because what...20,000 doughnuts? Times how many noon games? That isn't going to be cheap.
It's just one TimBit/Donut Hole per person.
with some cider too, please. Donuts + cider = yummy fall food.
Oh, I guess it's time to buy some stock in Ann Arbor based donut companies, too
Ticket. They can show up or not like season ticket holders. The price increases are the bigger issue. Just like in the REAL world. Whack the teams that aren't relevant and don't make money. Why should football give all other teams a free ride. If I was a student again I'd watch from my dorm. Supposedly kids provide the home field advantage and they get jobbed. Nice.
Need moar rowing facilities!!!!1
CCRB, IM Building? Eh, let's just increase tuition. Nobody really important using those facilities, right?
and they increase student ticket prices by 25%...
We were already wayyy in the black, and yet DB is still trying to turn the AD more and more into a corporation. I will never understand why the keep adding more and more non-revenue sports, and give then Taj Mahal facilities to boot.
I wonder if they have done a cost analysis on donuts for every student/every home game versus 10,000 blow up dolls/mannequins to fill up the section?? Blow up dolls/mannequins are reuseable, too! Win/win!
that GA won't be tiered for class standing?
Games? What is Brandon going to do penalize all the fans that leave early to beat traffic or return to their tailgates. It's an embarrassment that most of the stadium is empty well before the game is over. Winning or losing. What example is this to our kids, competition, future recruits. I think this should be Brandon's next front.
I have only ever left one game early, the 2002 Iowa game
And so all the home games will be at 3:30 (or night for ND), right?
I think he should give a pair of tiny gold pants to students that show up early to every game during the season....just to make ohio feel more worthless than they already are, shit just make them brass they'll look the same from a distance.
Yeah, I wish I knew how to embed photos. Sorry