Hoke Hatred From Behind Enemy Lines
Warning: filled with fat jokes about Hoke and comparisons to fat famous people (which are already beyond old hat and about half as funny as ones about Chuck Weis because Hoke is about half as fat as Chuck Weis). Besides that, just a good way to get your blood pumping for the end of November:
http://www.elevenwarriors.com/2011/07/this-guy-gets-it
What I'm saying is, Brady Hoke is, from a cultural standpoint, the perfect guy to coach the Michigan Wolverines football team. He is a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism. Everything he has said after opening that gaping maw he calls a mouth has infuriated me to the point of violence, and I am starting to believe that nothing short of Ann Arbor being terrorized by Woody Hayes' rotting corpse would get him to stop talking about how awesome Michigan football is. More than any Michigan coach I can remember, I want to see his jowls shake with shame and sadness after yet another loss to Ohio State. His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before.
seriously needs a life.
Didn't even see your post. I like the way you move!
I love the smell of fear!
but just came across this on SI.com.....Kyle Turley is an idiot
cant start my own thread but this thread was kind of the same topic
That's how we want you to feel.
Sincerely,
Greg McMurtry
It really dont matter what Hoke says because there will always be a Sparty or a Suckeye ripping it apart.
If Hoke says well we are not there yet and with the transition we are going to be less than great. The "morans" yes I said morans would be saying oh he is making excuses.
If hoke says we are Michigan and we are going to come out tough and play hard because we are Michigan and thats how we do things. The d-bags would say he is an arrogant ass and he needs to be hung by his nipples.
They forget the fact that Dumbtonio is a smug turd and Tressel is a lying slimey POS.
I wont say anything about Fickel. I know nothing about him and he seems like an ok guy but time will tell. Dont worry I hate him because he is a coach at Blowhio but hopefully he ends up a guy that I can at least respect. He does seem to be a bit shady with the I didnt know of any violations comments.
They didn't mind it when Jim Tressel did the same thing during his first season...
Best part of the piece was the comment section. Poster after poster said, "Oh, that 'Ohio' stuff Hoke pulls doesn't bother me at all, BUT I WISH THAT FUCKER WOULD DROWN," or something akin.
Hmmmm....sure glad he doesn't bug you there, Bucks.
Hoke isn't far, he's swole.
Hoke isn't far, he's swole.
August 4th, 2011 at 10:28 PM ^
I actually thought the 11 Warriors piece was really good, in a mostly meta way. He's pointing out that Hoke is a kind of genius, in that so much of his schtick appeals to the lowest common denominator football fan, and that is precisely why he will be so successful.
Look, countdown clocks are fucking moronic. Not wearing red is fucking idiotic. Not calling the school down south by its real name is fucking inane. Pablum cliches like "we're gonna get after it and be tough and run downhill and dominate the line of scrimmage" are fucking pablum cliches.
But all those moronic, idiotic, inane, pablum cliches are exactly what UM needed at this point. I think the only part of the fan base that is unsatisfied is overeducated, preening, petulant, pedantic, elitist snobs like BRCE, His Dudeness, yrs truly, and several others.
That's where all of Brian's snark comes from, by the way, doesn't it? The realization that, after Michigan rolled the dice with the future and it came up craps, we have returned to ye olde days of yore where men were men and ran downhill and dominated the line of scrimmage and got after it with toughness and downhill running.
It's galling to Brian to know that deep down, the Michigan fan base, despite turning up its noses at Sparty and OSU, is really no different. We puff out our chests when pencil-necked writers say mean things about our coach's waistline, we insert dollar signs to stand for the word "State" in university acronyms, we woof and bray at coaches who get it telling us we're getting back to old school smashmouth football.
I thought the 11 Warriors piece not only perfectly captured Hoke's genius, but also, probably unwittingly, provided real sociological insight into the meaning of college football, both for UM and for tUo$UIO or whatever.
August 4th, 2011 at 11:36 PM ^
Oh please. Everyone here who pines after RR is overeducated and pedantic, and the rest of us are just a bunch of yokels who ain't got no learnin'?
This is nonsense. RR's command of the English language was no better than Hoke's. He was every bit the same kind of cliché machine (HARD EDGE! HOLD THE ROPE! STRAP IT UP!). And if he was an advanced offensive mind, he certainly wasn't on defense, and wasn't too hot at personnel decisions, either. The "future of college football" does not have Greg Robinson working for it.
Rich Rodriguez was not the Alonquin Round Table member that you make him out to be. If any Michigan coach was a learned type, it was his predecessor, Carr, the guy you imply was just slightly above a Neanderthal on the evolutionary scale. Carr was also far more successful coaching Michigan than RR, the so-called "future of football," was. If he wasn't a flashy offensive mind, he was a good all-around football coach - and Hoke may prove to be as well.
Here's the truth: you simply have an emotional attachment to the old coach, and it's preventing you from embracing the new coach. Don't pretend it's something more rational than that. Sports fandom is never rational.
If you weren't such an irrational simpleton (did you see what I did there?) you'd get that the point of my post was not to comment on the hoi polloi, but rather to comment on the "elite." Nowhere did I say that RR is a Mensa candidate, but rather that the people who developed an attachment to him and (more to the point of my post) resisted returning to the old ways of Hoke did so because of what it represented about the direction of Michigan football.
It is true that I liked RR, and I agree that he was every bit the ordinary folks sort of guy that Hoke is. That proves the point that it isn't about the coach. After all, Lloyd was really the intellectual in the group. You are simply wrong that all of us butt hurt RR loverz were just emotionally attached to him, and that we're all just as irrational as the mouth breathers whom you claim I was denigrating but was in fact not.
The point is that at least I, and I think Brian, like the idea of creativity and scheme as the way to generate an advantage. RR represented that. Anyone who paid hundreds of dollas to go to the 2007 Rose Bowl (or even watched it on TV) will know why we got so fed up with latter-day Lloyd.
Enter Hoke. The point is that, whether or not he will ACTUALLY use scheme to his advantage (and his hiring of Borges and Mattison suggest that he will), he represents MANBALL. And before you get all spittle-flecked about the MANBALL meme, know that I am using it intentionally as a meme.
The point of the 11 Warriors post wasn't to talk about who Hoke actually is as a coach, since none of us knows. The point was about what he REPRESENTS to a football fan base. I was agreeing with him, and in the process taking a shot at ME, not at YOU. Do you get that now? You knuckle-dragging troglodyte (did you see what I did there?). And it's Algonquin, not Alonquin, you inbred hayseed (did you see what I did there?).
August 4th, 2011 at 10:44 PM ^
Anything to take your mind off of the iminent downfall of your beloved Ohio State Buckeyes, I suppose. Good to know that a positive mentality makes you an idiot. Hoke's in their heads.
August 5th, 2011 at 12:04 AM ^
up your coach ... neener, neener, neee-ner!
August 5th, 2011 at 12:08 AM ^
I havent seen one bit of "pompousness" *sp* from him, he seems completley humble. Its sad people judge someone elses coach that they havent seen in action. And the fat joke is old. Whenever i'm with my cousin and we see a fat guy he'll be like "I didnt know brady hoke was out driving!", honestley it is annoying.
isn't pompous. Peyton Manning is. And he has a bulbous nose. Brady Hoke is an angel.
August 5th, 2011 at 12:50 AM ^
Jim Tressel was the most humble head coach in football, and he showed his pride in that fact, by telling everyone who would listen
August 5th, 2011 at 10:37 AM ^
I mean seriously...who here talks nice about Tressel? Even before the accusations came out we all hated him. It is part of the rivalry, and a good part IMHE. Let them talk and let BH back up everything he has said (which I am sure he will do in the near future).