Hoke Hatred From Behind Enemy Lines
Warning: filled with fat jokes about Hoke and comparisons to fat famous people (which are already beyond old hat and about half as funny as ones about Chuck Weis because Hoke is about half as fat as Chuck Weis). Besides that, just a good way to get your blood pumping for the end of November:
http://www.elevenwarriors.com/2011/07/this-guy-gets-it
What I'm saying is, Brady Hoke is, from a cultural standpoint, the perfect guy to coach the Michigan Wolverines football team. He is a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism. Everything he has said after opening that gaping maw he calls a mouth has infuriated me to the point of violence, and I am starting to believe that nothing short of Ann Arbor being terrorized by Woody Hayes' rotting corpse would get him to stop talking about how awesome Michigan football is. More than any Michigan coach I can remember, I want to see his jowls shake with shame and sadness after yet another loss to Ohio State. His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before.
But Weis is the obvious exception though. Anyone who claims they have a "decided schematic advantage" deserves everything thrown at them.
and you can't see that our Coach claiming we're better than you because of our zip code may instill the same kind of irritation in our rivals???
Really??
One question mark is sufficient, JimBob. Second, there are a number of reasons we're better than our rivals in addition to our zip code.
Sounds like Hoke's arrogance is right up your alley.
And sarcasm is hard to convey over the internet
A coach coming in and talking up his school - common. A new coach extolling his own superiority over other coaches - I can only think of one.
Oh please. Michigan made fun of Notre Dame's coach being fat because they're a rival and Michigan's coach wasn't (that) fat at the time. Nothing more. If Michigan's coach was thin and OSU's was fat today, there would be fat jokes. Guaranteed.
The article in question actually makes a good point about the absurdity of rivalries and the phenomenon of "Bu..bu...bu...but we're DIFFERENT."
It's obviously a line of think you're a sucker for.
That, and he was so large that his knees gave up on him. Brady Hoke is not obese like everybody makes him seem, he's big, but he isn't fat. Charlie Weis, Terrance Cody, and Rosie O'Donnell are fat.
Proof:
VS.
Soon enough Hoke's weight will be the only thing they shall be able to joke about...
"His very existence has made me into a worse person."
Doubt it. When you bottom out, it's tough to go any lower.
....Michigan returns to the apex of the football world...the hate/hype machine isn't even registering yet.
This is only the shape of things to come...regarding the resurgent of MICHIGAN!
We own Ohio
keep it up!
If you people are seriously suggesting that no one on this blog ever took a fat joke shot at Charlie Weis, you need to take a step away from the computer.
They seriously are. When we get a new coach, these slappies become born-again fans, genuflecting in lock-step to whatever he is and whatever are rivals aren't at the time.
I don't care at all that Hoke is fat, but at least I'm consistent and didn't care that Weis was either.
Charlie Weis has front-butt for Christ's sake!
because Charlie Weiss is really fat
This is good news. I hope that whoever Ohio chooses for a coach will invoke similar emotions with Michigan fans.
Preeeetty sure we made fun of Weis being fat for like half a decade...
THANK YOU.
Seriously.
You've said some dumb crap but I am 100% in agreement here.
But there's a difference between pudgy and Maury Povich Special...
Is there? Is there REALLY?
If you look like a normal sized human (like I do) those two are the same.
P.S. Hoke is probably pushing 3 bills. That ain't "pudgy."
August 4th, 2011 at 10:42 PM ^
Hoke's fat for sure but Weis is (maybe was? I seem to remember reading about him going under the knife) very obese. Hoke and Weis aren't the same.
You beat me to it.
Tons of Weis fat jokes were found here. Still are, occasionally.
Also, iirc, Fulmer got much of the same on this board.
What goes around, comes around. We're in a big glass house, so to speak. Pot, meet kettle.
Regarding the "eleven warriors" piece, I smiled. It is nice they are worried, and taking Michigan seriously again. I was offered a free ticket to the game in Columbus last year, and turned it down. The reality was, I didn't think we'd win. I'd rather have a chance to compete, win or lose, then to have the rivalry become too lopsided. Also nice to get under their skin. I have a bunch of Ohio in-laws and relations. They hardly bothered with any jibes the last few years. Michigan was becoming irrelevant, not a good thing.
What is this Ohio you speak of?
I read 11W nearly every day just to see what the enemy is thinking. I saw this but I didn't feel like it merited a reaction. The vitriol and delusion there is remarkable. I once went to an OSU game with my little brother, who chose OSU over UM for his masters due to the fact that they paid him to attend and he didn't want and inbred MFA. I did not wear Maize and Blue due to my brothers warnings and it wasn't for The Game. That said, I have never seen people act with more disrespect for an opposing teams fans than I did in Columbus. And yes I have been to Fenway and Veterans stadium and they had nothing on the Shoe.
I've just come to accept that being classless is the hallmark of an OSU fan (when in Columbus). They seem to understand that they can't act like that outside of Ohio. If you want to see one explode bring up Tat-gate.
Edit: I'm told Cameron can be this way from my TarHeel friends, but I'm not going to test it.
Seems like Brady is really under their skin. Tremendous!
He's in their state. Stealin their doodz.
Is it just my homer eyes, cause I don't see Hoke as fat?? I never have. Hes a big dude, but thats kind of it, hes a big dude. Hes big like a lineman, husky thick stocky whatever you want to call it. He's a bit older, so no doubt is actually is a bit fat, and not as solid as he used to be.. but seriously, he's a fuckin football coach. This is what football coaches used to look like, cause THEY played the damn game. I bet its part of why he does so great recruiting lineman, they relate to him. They see him as one of their own. He's not some sissy imitation senator, librarian wanna be.
you must be referring to the national title winning, Michigan-butt kicking, monster-class recruiting college football coach who just resigned, right?
I think you forgot lying, cheating, hypocritical, and two-faced, just to name a few.
that tressel was fired. A month later he "resigned" ... because that's just the way buckeyes do things ..... (duck and cover (up).
Go Blue!
Well admittedly, tressel was what i was picturing when i was ending my rant. though any clean cut rectangles glasses sweater vest wearing small frail football head coach fits too
If you think Hoke isn't fat then this country has more of a problem than just being fat as fuck. We have actually warped our image of what a human should look like. Hoke is fat, dude. And not kind of fat. He is really fat. Relative to what a human being is supposed to look like, of course.
Whatever pussy negged this can question His Dudeness's motivation, but he is 100 percent correct.
America is way too accepting of obesity and have actively been shifting the goal posts for years on its societal definition of the word "fat."
About being ugly on the inside as you are about bring fat on the outside. Give me a fat nice guy over a thin ass hole any day.
"You two." Shut up.
I already said in the thread I don't care is our coach is fat or not. He's a coach, not a personal trainer. It doesn't even need to be discussed.
But for people to enter the discussion and actually say he's not fat is just DUMB and they wouldn't even think about saying that if he was anyone else's coach but ours. It's sub-mental.
August 5th, 2011 at 12:12 PM ^
There, do we feel better?
<br>
<br>I find that people who punctuate every point with insults like "pussies" and "DUMB" and "sub-mental" are usually compensating for their own inadequacies.
August 5th, 2011 at 12:44 AM ^
Were you equally disturbed at the sight of some of the members of the previous staff? RR's assistants included a few heavyweights.
Haha I laughed at this...touché.
people who are the size of what you think a human being should look like...don't play college football. Your talking about a guy who played college ball on the line..what do you expect? It's not the same as Weiss's pear shaped 350 lb ass thats never ran a hill in his life. Sure Hoke is fat, so is Ryan Van Bergan,Will Campbell,Richard Ash, Barnum,Huyge,Tallbott,Washinton,Molk...you get the point. Heck, im 205 lbs, 7% body fat and according to my Dr's chart..im obese. IMO fuck what a human being is supposed to look like.
August 5th, 2011 at 11:53 AM ^
Obviously BMI is outdated and if you look at it you must enter the 21st centruy, but a human being is not supposed to be 300 pounds. Look at the life expectency of NFL linemen. It is not healthy no matter if they are "in shape" in your opinion or not.
August 5th, 2011 at 12:10 PM ^
Does that mean you're going to stop watching football in protest? (Please say yes, please say yes).
fat coaches need love too
Uploaded with ImageShack.usThis face is going to come in SO HANDY during Fickell's tenure at tsio, however long it may last.
Balboa after Apollo Creed popped him with nice jab to the face (maybe 4th/5th round)