Warning: filled with fat jokes about Hoke and comparisons to fat famous people (which are already beyond old hat and about half as funny as ones about Chuck Weis because Hoke is about half as fat as Chuck Weis). Besides that, just a good way to get your blood pumping for the end of November:
What I'm saying is, Brady Hoke is, from a cultural standpoint, the perfect guy to coach the Michigan Wolverines football team. He is a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism. Everything he has said after opening that gaping maw he calls a mouth has infuriated me to the point of violence, and I am starting to believe that nothing short of Ann Arbor being terrorized by Woody Hayes' rotting corpse would get him to stop talking about how awesome Michigan football is. More than any Michigan coach I can remember, I want to see his jowls shake with shame and sadness after yet another loss to Ohio State. His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before.