Hoke Hatred From Behind Enemy Lines

Submitted by Michael Scarn on

Warning: filled with fat jokes about Hoke and comparisons to fat famous people (which are already beyond old hat and about half as funny as ones about Chuck Weis because Hoke is about half as fat as Chuck Weis).  Besides that, just a good way to get your blood pumping for the end of November:

http://www.elevenwarriors.com/2011/07/this-guy-gets-it

 

What I'm saying is, Brady Hoke is, from a cultural standpoint, the perfect guy to coach the Michigan Wolverines football team. He is a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism. Everything he has said after opening that gaping maw he calls a mouth has infuriated me to the point of violence, and I am starting to believe that nothing short of Ann Arbor being terrorized by Woody Hayes' rotting corpse would get him to stop talking about how awesome Michigan football is. More than any Michigan coach I can remember, I want to see his jowls shake with shame and sadness after yet another loss to Ohio State. His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before.

 

macdaddy

August 4th, 2011 at 2:38 PM ^

that is something coming from a fanbase that claims Casey Anthony as one of their own. Fear? Jealousy? Doesn't matter, I'm just glad their riled up.

Blue2000

August 4th, 2011 at 2:40 PM ^

Everything about Ohio States sucks, of course, but the description of Hoke as "a pompous toad who squats upon the lilypad of elitism" was actually pretty funny.

Fort Wayne Blue

August 4th, 2011 at 2:40 PM ^

I read that article last week and - while he was trying to be insulting - it actually made me happy to read it. Because, if tsio fans could feel that much negative emotion about Brady, he must be doing something right!

we all should aspire to have tsio blogs write poetry about us like this!

besides, I'd rather have a husky head coach than one who looks like a love child between beavis and butthead...

bluenyc

August 4th, 2011 at 2:41 PM ^

Love these jokes and insults. You can tell they are scared about the next few seasons. I could give a rat's ass about their current coach, good luck to him.

Six Zero

August 4th, 2011 at 2:43 PM ^

This is why I never want to be scolded by another board member that 'Enemy or not, Eleven Warriors is a pretty good blog.' Exhibit A:

Huge like the belt he has to wear to keep his parachute-sized pants in place around his planetoid sized waist. Because he's fat. Fat fat fatty fat fat.

BRCE

August 4th, 2011 at 4:22 PM ^

It's a joke. Joke joke jokey joke joke.

Eleven Warriors IS a good blog. No OSU fan will ever say "Boy, I love this new coach at Michigan," and everyone agrees that Hate > Apathy. This article is actually a compliment to Hoke for those who aren't hyper-sensitive (an increasingly rare trait in this community).

vbnautilus

August 4th, 2011 at 5:06 PM ^

That comment was made toungue-in-cheek.  The writer was saying that Hoke is good for the rivarly because he makes the writer want to hurl petty insults.  

 

Finally, all of Hoke's talk and bluster has turned myself and many of my fellow OSU fans into sad little people who prepare pathetic and immature jokes to offset any potential success that his team might have on the field, a sacred rite of passage not practiced in OSU fandom for far too long now. And for that, Brady Hoke should be congratulated. He hasn't even coached one game, and already he has made huge contributions to the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry.

I appreciated the tone of this article.  

COB

August 4th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^

but what is Hoke sucks at coaching?  He has beaten one AQ team as a HC.  Which admittedly is one more than Fickell but uhh...with a few more bites at the apple.  I get supporting the idea of the coach but you have no clue if this guy is any good.  What if he goes 6-6?  "Give it time"?  "Part of the process" ?  Let me guess..."The Decimated Defense: III"?  Yeah, that sounds about right. 

MGoPietrowski

August 4th, 2011 at 2:43 PM ^

"meh,, muh mah muh, he's fat, muh, meh, michigan arrogance, mah, muh, mneh, tressel hero, meh"

 

SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

WE ALL GET FAT.

WE ALL DIE.

NOT ALL OF US CHEAT.

 

Beavis

August 4th, 2011 at 2:45 PM ^

Getting into a pissing contest over either Hoke or Fickell is just about the dumbest thing I have heard all year.

Neither has coached a fucking game for their University yet.  Let the battles on the field create the shit talk.  All of this stuff is bloggers just looking for page hits, and by you linking to them - are giving them exactly what they want.  

Michael Scarn

August 4th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^

 

It's not a pissing contest, it's early August and I, for one, am starved for content about all things Michigan.  If someone from a decently respected rival blog wants to talk shit about the Head Coach of Michigan Football, I'd like to read it.  And guess what, anything that anyone working for a website has ever written on the internet, ever, is for page hits. Oh no! A rival's website might get a few extra page views! It's not like we've ever had content that linked to and argued with them before, right?

 

Beavis

August 4th, 2011 at 3:07 PM ^

It is a pissing contest.  Who cares what some clown on an OSU blog thinks about Hoke.  He does not know him.  He is simply frustrated because all of their state's best recruits belong to us.  

Also, Mr. Scarn, I believe Dr. Crentist will be seeing you now.  

Michael Scarn

August 4th, 2011 at 3:19 PM ^

Beavis, I think you and I should join forces. It appears we both thoroughly enjoy arguing for arguing's sake; it truly is one of my hobbies.  I was going to continue arguing with you, but was very much disarmed by The Office reference. Well done.  I say the next time someone says something disagreeable, we'll both go after them with fervor.  

And yes, my dentist's name is Crentist.  I know Crentist rhymes with dentist, maybe that's why he decided to become one.  

sum1valiant

August 4th, 2011 at 10:34 PM ^

If it weren't for bloggers looking for page hits, you'd have 5,744 less mgopoints and apparently a lot more time on your hands.  It's a pretty clever, well written, and relevant link from a respectable rival blog...get over it.

goblueatkettering

August 4th, 2011 at 2:45 PM ^

"His very existence has made me into a worse person, more vengeful and petty than ever before."

An impressive feat, no doubt.  I will never understand Ohio State fans.  I feel like this is what would have gone down, even if Hoke had given a Bill Stewart-esque "aw shucks guys" opinion on Michigan:

Hoke: "I like Michigan football.  I think it is pretty neat, even though I am from Ohio."

OSU fan: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

stankoniaks

August 4th, 2011 at 2:47 PM ^

The fact that these fanbases are getting frazzled means that whatever Hoke is doing is working.

There were rival fans (not the obnoxious ones that liked to gloat) that simply felt sorry for us during the RR era. These are the ones that are getting cranky in re: to Hoke.

Michael

August 4th, 2011 at 5:40 PM ^

It's worth noting that there was a significant contingent of OSU and Big Ten folks in general who thought RR was going to be wildly successful in the conference and then started referring to him as "Dick Rod" and ranting about how he's such a terrible person for the way he left WVU.

I think the real difference between Hoke and RR is that Hoke is talking more publicly about Ohio and is doing some chest thumping on Michigan's behalf, which RR obviously did not do.

Timnotep

August 4th, 2011 at 2:51 PM ^

not exactly surprised at it. I rather expected some of it: namely them claiming he's arrogant and pompous because he's from Ohio, but likes Michigan... mostly because they say that about everyone who happens to be from Ohio and isn't absolutely obsessed with OSU.

It's especially not surprising when you consider that this is the same fanbase that has been wishing ACL tears and placing voodoo hexes on Tom Stroble and Kyle Kalis.

Not really anything to back any of his statements up, he just believes Hoke is pompous because he has the audacity to want a Big Ten Title while not bleeding scarlet and gray... honestly that is probably one of the most hypocritical arguments I've ever heard. "You're arrogant because you said you're going to compete for the Big Ten Championship... only we get to do that!"

I wouldn't pay it much heed though, because at the end of the day they have nothing on Hoke. Calling him pompous is pretty baseless and hypocritical, calling him out because he is 48-51 as a head coach shows a lack of research as it doesn't take a genius to see that he led two dramatic turnarounds of two abysmal programs to get to 48-51. Which really only leaves them with fat jokes, which are a sign of desperation.

Son of Lloyd Brady

August 4th, 2011 at 2:50 PM ^

If they weren't scared of us, they really wouldn't care. The fact that they are infuriated is even better because they realize that we are on the way up and they are on the way down. None of them would be saying anything if we weren't beating them in recruiting or if the Tressel thing never had any substance, they would simply brush it off.

That being said, I can't wait to see how they react after a few years of us pounding their sorry asses into the ground and simply start to take our pick of recruits in Ohio, rather than having to "steal" them away. Great to be a wolverine!

maizenblueCW2

August 4th, 2011 at 3:04 PM ^

I've been so in love with Hoke and everything he's said/done that I haven't even thought about how opposing fans must view him. This tool's a buckeye, so he's going to go out of his way to convey his hatred, but I'd be interested to see how other fans of college football view him.

 

I just see him as a big, lovable guy who knows what's important (the excellence and integrity of his university, his team, his players, and the fans) and what's not (combing his hair).

 

Thoughts? Insight?

soup-er-UM

August 4th, 2011 at 3:02 PM ^

I read this on their blog few days ago, and I have to say I'm quite proud that Mgoblog doesn't resort to cheap shots and fat jokes all the time.  If that's arrogance, so be it.