Headlines You Hope to Read Tomorrow
Unless you have a newspaper from the future I think you mean headlines you hope to read the day AFTER tomorrow........
maybe he's in Australia...or somewhere
What is a newspaper?
that has never been read in the state of ohio.
Buckeye Fans Celebrate Michigan Win with Jesus--Fans Banned to Hell in Postgame Presser
I figure "world peace" will soon follow.
probably followed by "Man lands on the moon!"
We landed on the moon??
"Hey everybody! We landed on the moon!!"
Michigan Defense makes key stop, wins 67-65...oh wait, that already happened? Then Denard runs for 300 as Michigan wins.
is a fake buckeye, fake as hell.
Is a fake everything, fake as hell.
he found the family values he was looking for in Terrell Pyror. I wouldn't be surprised to see him apply for another year of eligibility and transfer to Auburn. That is the only place with more "family values" than ohio st. right now.
"Pryor's arm ripped off after Martin's viscious hit in Michigans upset of OSU"
Sharpe and Henning involved in murder suicide
I really shouldn't have laughed when I read this. I am ashamed.
Michigan Wins! Half of Michigan nation apologizes profusely to Rodriguez!
HEY OHIO: HOW MA ASS TASTE
"Blue in South Bend wins Powerball, seen celebrating with Megan Fox.
Raback unavailable for comment."
Mine was similar, except my wife doesn't approve of Megan Fox. I'm going with Jennifer Garner and a Michigan win to cap the Powerball win.
Shit, I'll split the lotto with you. What's 100 million between Internet personas.
So she doesn't approve of you dreaming of Megan Fox? But Jennifer Garner is fine?
Heck, you're already cheating on your wife, who cares if she approves of your mistress. Choose the one that's hot as hell.
Giant 1-Legged Horse Born In Columbus Finds Shoe
Denard rushes for 314.
OSU turns BLUE.
Boren family begs for forgiveness.
"State of Ohio wiped off map by act of God no one cares"
"Ok, ok, we were wrong. And we're douchebags"
First player in NCAA history with three 200/200 games in career
and award Michigan the victory.
"Scientists Invent Hangover-Free SuperLiquor; Nobel Committee Unavailable For Comment, Thought SuperIntoxicated"
"Doctors Without Borders to Turn Attention To Free Penile Enlargement Surgeries Worldwide"
"Irate OSU Fans Burn Down Horseshoe Following 63-10 Drubbing At Hands Of Michigan"
"Michigan Wins Back Toledo from Ohio, Returns It Immediately"
"Engaged: Michimoby and Mila Kunis"
'Cause I'm getting a little tired of these two Muppets, who have been sitting behind me at seemingly every Michigan game for the past three years:
I could give you more than one +1. I almost peed myself.
OSU's Streak Ends
Big Brother does it's part, but Penn State drops Lil. Brother
I can tell you without a doubt what headlines WILL run tomorrow. And I'll tell you Sunday.
"Former Wolverines Woodley, Harris, and Hall Find Eligibility Loophole in NCAA Rulebook; To Suit Up Against Ohio State"
Plus one for the avatar. The basketball playes all look like Michael Jordan, the golfers are all asian and the baseball players are wearing heels.
God they are funny.
Ohio State Blows...
Robinson's 300/300 game only outdone by Mike Martin ripping off TPs arm and beating him with it in garbage time.
Can dream, can't I?
I'd definitely settle for..
"Michigan Offense Too Much"
"Terrelle Pryor doubtful after tripping on roll of Toilet Paper during night"
Story continued on pg.7, See Irony...
Robinson's historic day 400/400 day carries Wolverines to upset.
could lead to Federal Indictments of OSU program.
Inspired by Michigan beating OSU Lloyd Brady commits to Michigan as kicker.
"Pryor and Herbstreit duke it in the street out after the game following an OSU loss to the hands of shoelace"
Rich Rodriguez has been let go. Harbaugh named as new head coach.
One can dream
So you're dreaming for UM to get humiliated tomorrow? Wow, what a super-fan you are buddy. I wish our "fans" like you would go Boren style and become Buckeyes. I loathe you that much!
Michigan wins, Buckeyes drop entire athletic department
- Michigan dominates following Pryor Injury
- Tressel: "I'm Sorry"
- Lynn Henning and Michael Rosenberg: Fired!
- Texas Defensive Prospects Decommit en masse: "We're Going to Ann Arbor!"
- Clinton - Dix commits to Michigan - "Shocker"
- Three Star Mafia Disbanded: Unity Prevails in Michigan Fanbase
From the Free Press:
Was Running Up the Score on Ohio State a Classless Move by Rich Rodriguez?
From Everybody Else:
Tressel Fired For Punching James Rogers After His 6th Interception of the Day
"The 'Shoe' has no laces: Michigan wins big"
"Rodriguez becomes family man. Beats OSU."
Instead of Robinson goes 300/300, or something like that, I'm going to take a more shameful approach:
Late OSU Touchdown Called Back On Justin Boren Holding Call, Wolverines pull the upset 42-38.
Lee Corso suffocates in giant mascot head.
no longer credible source, dissolves
would be somewhere along the lines of "Wolverines get lucky as OSU finds a way to lose game"
"Biakaba-who?: Robinson goes for 300/300 in 65-10 Victory."
"Buckeyes cancel their Pryor Engagement: No BCS trip after all."
"In Rare Move, NCAA grants Tom Brady, Charles Woodson, Mike Hart and Braylon Edwards additional years of eligibility...Jim Tressel Soils Self."
"Desmond Howard cloned- clones sign with Michigan"
Second Headline - Freep Sports Staff Fired - Replaced by Community of Experts at MGoBlog
Broekhuizen kicks game winning field goal!
"the game winning field goal from 20 yards hit the crossbar, jumped up, hit the upright, and went in!"
Confidence in our kickers....
I don't think my body could stand watching him attempt a game winning field goal.
Tressell resigns after upset to Michigan
Subtitle: Pryor on possible scandal: "everyone cheats"
Freep, "Michigan wins, Snyder fired and Rosenberg for using to much time to write article."
O(h-They) - S(laughtered) - U(s)
Rodriguez Gets Defining Win, in a Wolverine Beatdown of Buckeyes: Tressel and Pryror Quarell after Game
Boys in Maize and Blue defy odds!!!
by the San Fransico 49ers and accepts.
Or BSU, tOSU and Rosenberg exposed as frauds on same day.
"John Cooper reinstated as OSU head coach- AD says "Tressel was just winning too many games for local party stores to handle"
Martin Rips Stiff Arm From Pryor, Impales QB.
Robinson scores like he owns the place