Haunts, Taunts and Shock - MGoBlog Rhyme Crime 1103*

Submitted by chatster on
While Red Sox Nation fans were dancing,
Michigan limped back from East Lansing
With Halloween Week’s ghosts still haunting
A football team that’s suffered taunting
From fans who post from near and far
Who suddenly may miss Lloyd Carr.
Who’ve added wounds and scabs and blisters
And called them State’s “poor, little sisters.”
Some fans will boo and some will curse
And some may even write in verse.
Some will say just what they please
And some will say some things like these:
 
“This day when we set back the clocks,
We worry how the O line blocks.”
“Can’t open holes; just gives up sacks.”
“They’re causing lots of heart attacks.”
“To blame the defense might be quibbling
‘Bout interceptions missed by Stribling
Or lack of blitzing on each pass
To put some QB on his ass.”
“Is now the time to stick a sword in
Wilson? Avery? Lewis? Gordon?”
“D line, don’t mean to be too rude t’ya,
But what’s gone wrong with Ojemudia,
Q-Wash, Heitzman and Jibreel?”
“And as for Taco, what’s the deal?”
“Has Charlton really lost his touch?”
Is that why he won’t play too much?”
“Team One Three Four looks so disjointed.”
“They’re not that good.”  “They’ve disappointed.”
“Predicted doom had been prophetic
For an offense that looked so pathetic
And seemed like they had never studied
How to win when they get bloodied.”
“Their leadership’s not up to par.”
“Their calls on plays have been bizarre.”
“There’s just too much that this team lacks.”
“They should be running all their backs.”
“Their running game leaves much to want.”
“They can’t gain yards with just Toussaint.”
“What’s the matter with Fred Jackson?
Why won’t he put some other backs in?”
“They’re still too young.”  “They’re overrated.”
“Their offense ain’t coordinated.”
“If they soon learn that Gardner’s out,
Another win could be in doubt.”
“Al Borges proved he can’t adjust;
Yet somehow he’s got Brady’s trust?”
“Team One Three Four’s an awful mess.”
“Expect the worst and more distress.”
“Unless they get back on a roll,
They’ll wind up in some Texas bowl.”
“They’re falling fast and if they choke,
Could it be time to fire Hoke?”
“There’s gonna have to be a fix
If they end up six and six.”
 
It doesn’t have to go that way.
They’ve still got four games left to play
To prove that this month of November
Won’t be the worst month they’ll remember.
And though they won’t be lighting lamps
To say that they’re the Big Ten champs,
They still don’t have to suffer shame.
Just shock the world and win The Game!
 
*  Apologies in advance for violating a promise to those who are annoyed by these..  Moderators, you may delete or move this, if it's inappropriate for MGoBloggers.
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ontarioblue

November 3rd, 2013 at 3:04 PM ^

I was furious last night we lost to Sparty. Today i realize that we just aren't that good. Support the coaches, the players and let's all pull together ti make this team better. Expectations lowered.

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 16574

Canadian

November 4th, 2013 at 8:29 AM ^

After the Akron game I was pissed, after the UConn game I realized this could very well be a LONG season, after penn state I realized I have had enough of running the hbs into a wall of tacklers and after Saturday I'm glad I had the unexpected misfortune of not being able to watch the game. Turned my radio off early in the third and was very frustrated. Haven't even thought of going back and watching

Joined: 06/02/2012

MGoPoints: 13364

BILG

November 3rd, 2013 at 3:18 PM ^

Call me nuts, laugh away.  I think we match up well with them.  Their defense is very suspect and I think the game will be a shoot out.  We are a different team at home.  MSU is the worst match up for us and I expect OSU to try to copy a lot of Narduzzi's blitz packages, but I really think that game is winnable.  

For Michigan it's about matchups and where we play.  At home against a soft defense.  I like our chances.  Also the fact that we have nothing else to play for except ruin their season....I think we shock them.

Joined: 08/31/2008

MGoPoints: 1344

ChopBlock

November 3rd, 2013 at 3:20 PM ^

On some distant world
The M Club banner's unfurled
Players are leaping to touch it
But as for that world, fuck it!

For back in this miserable month of November
Michigan just got dismembered
An offense without coherence
I'd be pleased with Al's disappearence.

Fire me, fire you
Fire the whole damn maize and blue
Not that my bitching will fix this whole mess
But I'll see you all on TWIS!
 



 

 

Joined: 12/11/2011

MGoPoints: 2912

KSmooth

November 3rd, 2013 at 7:55 PM ^

Not the deepest football analysis, but it sums up what a lot of us are thinking and arguing about pretty well. And the rhyming and syntax are not too shabby. When I read it I imagined Eminem's voice, and it worked.

Joined: 11/14/2009

MGoPoints: 3783

chatster

November 4th, 2013 at 10:10 AM ^

RedGreene, you’re entitled to pour on your abuse
If you hate what I’ve written, I’ve got no excuse
For offending your sense of what makes a good poem.
Great poems abound; perhaps you may know ‘em. 
I don’t claim that I’m skilled at conversing in rhyme.
And some MGoBloggers say I’m wasting my time.
I really don’t care how my writings are scored
By the nasty attacks that I get on this board.
See, it’s really not hard; it’s becoming too easy
To write on this board with remarks that are cheesy.
Yet sometimes that “cheese” might have its right place
So, here’s my response to your slap in my face:
 
When raptors roamed Earth in the Age called Jurassic
That poem of yours would’ve been called a classic.

Joined: 09/14/2010

MGoPoints: 26926