The Grey Gasbag Speaketh
Prodded by some knucklehead wanting to know if RR will be the first coach fired this year, the most unhealthy-looking man in all of college sports, The Grey Gasbag Beano Cook has uttered another stream of wind out of the hole above his wattle:
Beano Cook: No. He is the number one coach on the hot seat. That doesn't mean he will be the first fired. I don't care if that was a new system he bought in, the cupboard was not bare.
I can't believe I missed the retirement of MSC. I wonder who the new school president is that Beano is wiggling his chins about. As for Al Golden being a viable candidate, I'm a little skeptical about that. Since Golden has already declined to pursue open jobs at UCLA and Cincy, he's obviously waiting for something better. Since he's a Penn State grad, I would bet he's got his eyes on Happy Valley.
I guess that means that we should only bring the band again to all of our games this year. Things are looking better already!
who said something along the lines of...
...Ron Powlus is a little less than Zeus throwing thunderbolts downfield...It is not a question of if he will win the Heisman, but how many... (?)
I am amazed, time and again, by the level of willing ignorance that these sportswriters (and a lot of fans too) seem to show, especially as far as RR is concerned. I'm one of those nuts (pun intended) who actually checks out OSU blogs from time to time, and a lot of their users seem to think that RR is a bad man who should be fired immediately. Not withstanding the fact that OSU has averaged 42 secondary violations per year since 2000 as compared to Michigan's 9 self-reported violations since 2005.
If there is a cure for the offseason blues, MGoBlog is it. Don, nice analysis. Way to break down that article to bare bones and enlighten us as to what is likely going on in Temple coach Golden's noggin. How much longer do you think JoePa can hold on to that job?
but I'd be shocked if he's never thought about coaching at his alma mater. When a PSU grad turns down a major BCS job in a beautiful location like UCLA, and then turns down another BCS job that's still flying high thanks to its last coach, all to remain at a MAC school, something doesn't add up. Given Paterno's age you'd figure he can't go on too much longer, but then I thought he should have retired during his bad stretch a few years ago. He recovered from that nicely, so I'm as clueless as anybody else, if not moreso. Maybe JoePa wants to go out with a heart attack during a game, dying with his boots on, so to speak.
I bet there are about a hundred guys across the country who would clothesline their grandmother to succeed Paterno.
I still think JoePa's son will get the job. I think he does a lot more than most people realize.
Joe's been positioning Jay for that job for at least a decade. He'll get it and if things don't work out the shitstorm in AA swirling around getting rid of RR will be nothing compared to the one in Happy Valley. There's been a ton of viable coaches with experience express interest in that job and giving the keys to a consistently good BCS program to someone with zero headcoaching experience is just asking for it.
Michigan has a new AD and school president
I'm not a student or alum, but even I know that the university has not hired a new president. And this guy is a sportswriter? Sheesh. Not having your facts straight must be a prerequisite in order to write about U of M these days.
Beano is no sportswriter. He is just a nutjob that Cowherd and the rest of ESPN laugh at when Howdy Doody (i mean holtz) is not available to praise Notre Dame and crush all who stand in their way.
Seriously, I feel the life draining out of me just seeing that unearthly gray pallor of his. He looks like he's never been out in the sun in his life, nor eaten anything that isn't white or gray.
Beano Cook calls Willard Scott and says:
"I cant believe some people think we're relevant. So, hows the weather in your neck of the woods?"
Good to know I guess...?
Beano Cook should be hit upside the head with a bag of diseased cocks.
That wouldn't hurt all that much, just be kind of disgusting.
I dont know, the beak of one of them could go right into his eye if it hit at the proper angle. We are talking about roosters right?
Isn't Beano used so you don't fart a lot?
It's always advertised during game shows, which old people love....and they fart a lot. Old people and game shows go together like stoners and tacos.
...more often than I do.
Beano Cook only looks like some harmless old man.
Every time I see him, I think about the Emperor in the star wars movies.
Wonder if he can shoot lightning from his fingertips?
Surprised he didn't mention Brady Hoke as a viable candidate....
+1 for wattle.
Or does Beano look more like Jabba the Hutt? You decide... (Bonus if you can pick which is which, below ...)
a striking resemblance to Emperor Palpatine.
That was a good guess. However, I'm going with the lack of a neck, the generally rounded head, squinty eyes and the chin that seems to float in a sea of gelatin.
Las Vegas and talk to a man like Moe Greene like that." You don't get to quote Fredo everyday. I'd put a bullet in my own eye if we hired Brady Hoke.
...on this subject over at Maize n Brew.
Yet no matter what Beano Cook manages to say or do, just like a massive train wreck, it's almost impossible for college football fans to look away. He's predictably boring, dumb, breath-taking, irritating and fascinatingly encyclopedic all at the same time.
I'd think more like "wikipedic" ... Sure, there are plenty of facts, but you'd better cross-check them, and don't even think of using it as a reference on a term paper.
EDIT: I just read the MNB take. Toni Braxton as head coach at Michigan? If she promises to hire Halle Berry as her assistant, then I find myself suddenly ambivalent on the subject of RR's future with the program....
Why is Beano still on TV? That's a serious question. Is it related to some sort of Baby Boomer nostalgia? Was he ever wise and insightful?
I found it interesting that he'd go out of his way, in such a short response, to comment on "the cupboard." Interesting, yes.
Here's the source, for anyone who gives a @#$%:
http://m.espn.go.com/general/chat/chat?eventId=32500&hcId=3755252&y=19i…
his 3rd decade of being one of CFB's greatest targets of ridicule. He's been saying non-sensical things for quite a while, and fans have been obliging him with a roll of the eyes and a chuckle. No one's paid much attention to the guy since the Reagan adminstration when the game started passing him by at warp speed. I give him credit for managing to stay visible here and there -- his publicist is earning his/her keep.
Same goes for Lou Holtz. Completely non-sensical, but good for a laugh.
I think there are two ways of looking at this:
1. When Rodriguez was hired, he actually had some pretty good players and nearly a full complement of scholarship athletes. People with remaining eligibility included Boren, Mallett, Manningham, and Arrington. Various other guys transferred (Horn, Babb, Chambers, etc.), quit, or left early the following year (Butler). If one considers that Rodriguez inherited those kids and failed to keep them on the roster, then I can see the viewpoint that he's underachieved.
On the other hand...
2. It's been well documented on this blog that the actual game rosters have been depleted by transfers, early NFL draft entrants, etc. At one point in 2009, Michigan only had 69 or 70 scholarship players on the roster.
So I pretty much give him a pass for losing in those two years. I don't think he can entirely be blamed for losing guys like Boren, Mallett, etc., but I think a small fraction of blame falls on his shoulders. Regardless, he was dealt a bad hand from the beginning, but the time for any excuses is running out.
And by the way, Rodriguez is definitely on the hot seat. I know nobody's really arguing against that, but it's clear that he could lose his job after this season. David Brandon has been very supportive of Rodriguez outwardly, but it's somewhat telling that whenever asked, he says "Rodriguez is our football coach for this season." It's basically an unspoken ultimatum: I better see improvement this year, or heads will roll. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
...on all points.