97.1 The Ticket is having a contest - best joke about MSU (or UM) wins a $50 gas card
248-539-9797
Support MGoBlog: buy stuff at Amazon
Get it Off Your Chest: Call in Your Best MSU Jokes
October 7th, 2010 at 9:28 AM
#1
Get it Off Your Chest: Call in Your Best MSU Jokes
October 7th, 2010 at 9:32 AM
#2
To use a line from Monty
To use a line from Monty Python:
We can't think of anything to call them that more offensive than Sparties.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:39 AM
#3
google got me this.
What does M-S-U stand for?
Michigan Slaughtered Us
October 7th, 2010 at 9:42 AM
#4
stole this from another board
stole this from another board but:
Q: Where did OJ SImpson hide out when the authorities were looking for him?
A: East Lansing because thats the last place anyone would look for a Heisman trophy winner.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:41 AM
#5
Not a joke, the joke.
I thought MSU was the joke, not the subject of jokes?
October 7th, 2010 at 9:41 AM
#6
How do you get an MSU grad
How do you get an MSU grad off of your porch?
You pay for the pizza.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:43 AM
#7
You pay for the pizza.
You pay for the pizza. Sadly this one works for every school. You need something specific to really zing them. Like how do you get a MSU student off the street? You have the riot squad deploy tear gas or something. It's early, i'm sure others can do better.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:43 AM
#8
Some of these are just a couple days old
Some of these are a couple of days old, but just in review:
Who misses coach Dantonio the most since his heart attack?
The doughnut shop across from the Ingham County Jail.
It has been confirmed: One spartan football player has seen the inside of a classroom. Oh. It was just to steal laptops.
Now you know spartan fans are jealous of "The Big House", did you hear they're going to rename their parking structure-er-spartan stadium "The Halfway House"?
Quesion: Who can stop the Michigan State Spartans?
Answer: I dont know, but dont ask Ingham County Prosecutor Stuart Dunnings.
Did you hear what the spartan basketball team has been working on in the offseason? They've been practicing their "double team". Their "trap". Switching to "man on man" after they score. Avoiding "Lane violations"(not sure who this Lane girl is), and primarily working on their "defense".
October 7th, 2010 at 9:43 AM
#9
Guy One says: "What is the
Guy One says: "What is the difference between a State grad and an inbred-redneck?"
Guy Two answers: "There is a Difference?"
One more for the road:
Why did the guy put his MSU diploma in his windshield?
To prove he was handicapped.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:55 AM
#10
Of course there's no
Of course there's no difference between a Sparty and an inbred redneck. After all, they both only score with their Cousins.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:46 AM
#11
Got two
From the makers of Glen Livet, comes Glen Winston, packs a punch and requires a couple tries before it bottoms out
What did Dantonio get when he ordered Dell into his office? A wide receiver and Detroit property
October 7th, 2010 at 9:47 AM
#12
How do you keep a MSU athlete
How do you keep a MSU athlete from masturbating?
Paint his manhood maize and blue...he'll never beat it again!
October 7th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
#13
To riff off that:
How do you keep the MSU Football team from beating up the co-eds?
Paint them....
October 7th, 2010 at 9:48 AM
#14
A guy walks into a bar ...
and says, "Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the one about the Michigan State Spartans?" Four huge men stand up and approach the man. One of them says, "We play football at MSU, you wanna tell that joke to us?" The guy replies, "What? And have to explain it four times?"
October 7th, 2010 at 9:49 AM
#15
This guy went into a store in East Lansing and said...
"I want a green outfit. I want a green jacket and green slacks. I want a green shirt and tie. I want green shoes and socks".
Clerk: "Are you a Michigan State graduate?"
Guy: "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
Clerk: "Because this is a hardware store."
October 7th, 2010 at 9:52 AM
#16
What's the difference between
What's the difference between the reality TV shows of the early 2000's, and MSU?
All hype at the beginning of the season, but halfway through no one cares again.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:57 AM
#17
Fist Pump
The only time you can see douche bags fold quicker than Sparty is when the Jersey Shore guys do their laundry.
October 7th, 2010 at 9:57 AM
#18
One of my favorites:
What do Michigan grads and MSU grads have in common?
If asked, both of them will state that they were accepted to U of M.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:01 AM
#19
You might be looking for
You might be looking for "they ALL got in to Michigan State".
October 7th, 2010 at 10:32 AM
#20
I disagree . . .
I had plenty of friends at UM who didn't both applying to Sparty.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:01 AM
#24
Did you hear the one....
Where the MSU alum won a $50 gas card on 97.1?
It was worth $55 thanks to the employee discount...Ba...dum...bum....
October 7th, 2010 at 10:04 AM
#25
We tell this joke about
We tell this joke about Slippery Rock, but it works for MSU too.
How many MSU students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but they get three credits for it.
October 7th, 2010 at 11:42 AM
#26
Don't you dare
insult Slippery Rock like that
October 7th, 2010 at 10:06 AM
#27
What's the difference between
What's the difference between MSU's football team and Snooki?
One's an annoying, ugly thing that's shown on national TV once per week.
The other's Italian.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:09 AM
#28
A UM coed was walking along
A UM coed was walking along Packard Avenue in downtown AA with a goat on a leash.
A man across the street looks over and shouts, "Hey, where'd you get the pig?"
The coed responds, "It's not a pig!"
And the man says, "Shuddup, I was talking to the goat!"
October 7th, 2010 at 10:14 AM
#29
you sure...
he wasn't walking on north campus?
OHHH BURN
/engineering alum
October 7th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
#30
As a fellow engineering alum
As a fellow engineering alum I feel compelled to point out Biochem and some of the other biomedical engineering type areas are hot girl central.
Now the EECS dating pool is a scary, scary place.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
#31
Walking through the halls of
Walking through the halls of the b-school as a grad student was like discovering a precious, bleached blonde flower compared to campus del norte, however.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:57 AM
#32
No Joke
I've heard it said that finding girls in EECS is like finding parking spaces -
The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:18 AM
#33
(No subject)
October 7th, 2010 at 10:30 AM
#34
Somebody's got sand in their
Somebody's got sand in their vagina...
October 7th, 2010 at 10:15 AM
#35
What do you call a MSU grad
What do you call a MSU grad who gets into the UM Medical School?
A cadaver.
What is the only good thing in East Lansing?
The sign that says Ann Arbor 62 miles.
What's the most popular course at MSU?
Cliff's Notes vs Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
October 8th, 2010 at 11:03 AM
#36
A slight revision, if I may...
Q: What's the only sign of intelligence in East Lansing?
A: The one that says Ann Arbor 62 miles.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:19 AM
#37
What's
the first piece of equipment a Spartan player checks before running onto the field?
His ankle tether.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:22 AM
#38
this one is old....
Why did the MSU athletic department decide to change thier football field from natural grass to field turf?
To keep their cheerleaders from grazing at half time.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:39 AM
#39
Not a joke, but a true
Not a joke, but a true story.
I took the bar exam at Breslin during the summer of 2004. I was wearing my Michigan baseball cap when I went up to the concession area for lunch.
When it was my turn, the guy behind the counter, all decked out in green Sparty gear, took my order for a burger, then said,
"You went to Michigan. Dude, your school sucks. [Pause.] Oh, did you want fries with that?"
As I walked away laughing, one of his coworkers smacked him on the back of the head. "Nice timing, genius. He's taking the bar exam, and your'e getting him french fries."
October 7th, 2010 at 10:50 AM
#40
$50 says
Mike Valenti gives the gas card to himself and gives himself a big pat on the back.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:55 AM
#41
Let's Recycle A Classic
What's the difference between a Large Pizza and an MSU grad?
The Large Pizza can actually feed a family of four.
October 7th, 2010 at 11:53 AM
#42
A little bit of a
A little bit of a change.
What is the difference between an MSU grad and a picnic table?
A picnic table can support a family of five.
October 7th, 2010 at 10:56 AM
#43
# MSU Students to Screw in a Lighbulb?
No one knows...its a graduate level course.
October 7th, 2010 at 11:16 AM
#44
an old one.
A Spartan family of football supporters head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an Michigan jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Wolverine fan and I would like this for Christmas".
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother".
Off goes the little lad with the Wolverine jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mom?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Wolverine fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"
Off he goes with the Wolverine Jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be an Wolverine fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas".
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says
"Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Wolverine fan for an hour and I already hate you Spartan bastards."
October 7th, 2010 at 11:28 AM
#45
I'd adopt kids.
I'd adopt that kid.
October 7th, 2010 at 11:32 AM
#46
Got one.
A: How does Sparty motivate you to get off the couch?
Q: They light a fire under your ass.
October 7th, 2010 at 11:41 AM
#47
+1
for that Avatar...
October 7th, 2010 at 11:45 AM
#48
Q: Why can't they hold a
Q: Why can't they hold a Christmas pageant at MSU?
A: Because they can't find three wise men or a virgin in East Lansing
October 7th, 2010 at 11:58 AM
#49
Wikipedia knows
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Brother
Little Brother
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Little Brother or little brother may refer to:
Contents[hide] |
[edit]Football
- http://bits.wikimedia.org/skins-1.5/vector/images/bullet-icon.png?1); ">
- Michigan State, not as good as big brother
October 7th, 2010 at 11:59 AM
#50
Q. How does an MSU coed turn
Q. How does an MSU coed turn on the lights after having sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. Four MSU players are in a car. Who is driving?
A. The police.
A little boy and his mother were walking in a Michigan cemetary when they came
upon a headstone that read "Here lies an MSU graduate and an accomplished man."
The little boy asked, "Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?"
Did you hear about the big storm which caused a major power outage in East Lansing yesterday? 40 Spartan fans were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
October 7th, 2010 at 12:29 PM
#51
Top Ten Courses at MSU
10.
Top Ten Courses at MSU
10. Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F"?
9. Prelaw Seminar: Age of Consent in 50 States
8. Sandwich Making: A Project Course
7. Hand-Shadow Workshop
6. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Friend
5. Cliff's Notes vs. Monarch Notes: 2 Views of the Classics
4. Hydraulic Principles of the Keg
3. The College Classroom: A Simulation
2. ABC's: An Extended Version
1. Your Ass from a Hole in the Ground: A Comparative Study
