GERG Taking an Audition

Submitted by M2NASA on

GERG is reportedly taking an audition today at ESPN, I assume for some sort of daycare position to best utilize his storytelling and stuffed animal motivational techniques.

http://twitter.com/#!/AnthonyLimaTV

 

 

chunkums

May 6th, 2011 at 2:15 PM ^

They'll probably launch a Mystery Science Theater 3000 type show where GERG and Lou Holtz seriously talk about football, and Herbie and Desmond mock them off screen.

His Dudeness

May 6th, 2011 at 2:19 PM ^

I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you

It's Friday, I'm in love



Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Oh, Thursday doesn't even start

It's Friday I'm in love



Saturday, wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday, never hesitate...



I don't care if Mondays black

Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack

Thursday, never looking back

It's Friday, I'm in love



Monday, you can hold your head

Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed

Or Thursday - watch the walls instead

It's Friday, I'm in love



Saturday, wait

And Sunday always comes too late

But Friday, never hesitate...



Dressed up to the eyes

It's a wonderful surprise

To see your shoes and your spirits rise

Throwing out your frown

And just smiling at the sound

And as sleek as a sheik

Spinning round and round

Always take a big bite

It's such a gorgeous sight

To see you eat in the middle of the night

You can never get enough

Enough of this stuff

It's Friday, I'm in love



I don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too

Thursday I don't care about you

It's Friday, I'm in love



Monday you can fall apart

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Thursday doesn't even start

It's Friday I'm in love

 

Section 1

May 6th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^

like, how did it get started?  What was the origin?  The back-story?  Is there some funny story, some anecdote, that goes along with it?  Something that happened in practice, or on a team bus?  I know the players have been asked about it, and the response was something like what you'd get if you asked the Navy, "please give us the names and home addresses of SEAL Team Six..."

But I'd wager that someday it will come out, probably when Mike Martin and/or Kenny Demens wind up their eligibility in Ann Arbor.

Deep Under Cover

May 6th, 2011 at 2:36 PM ^

Can we pretend like the whole beaver thing never existed?

I don't tell anyone who hasn't heard of it, about it.

I cringe just seeing pictures/videos of it (you know, like when you think of something REALLY embarrassing you did once and always hope nobody else ever brings it back up?).

Gary_B

May 6th, 2011 at 3:03 PM ^

The beaver had a voice box inside that played "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Grobin as a motivational tool.

It was as effective as when RR used the song apparently.

Sopwith

May 6th, 2011 at 3:10 PM ^

I feel at this point after several months of acerbic post-mortems on the RR Era, all narratives vis-a-vis The Process, The Decimated Defense, even the Mallett transfer backstory, the GERG story remains an immense unknown.  I'm not even sure it's all known unknowns, because I suspect there may be unknown unknowns in there somewhere.

When GERG was hired, it made almost no sense given his mediocre statistical track record, though there were some plenty good teams (Texas, SB-winning Broncos, etc.) he coordinated.  He seemed like a more personable guy than Scott Schafer, so maybe whatever personality issues existed between the DC and RR's staff would go away, and anyway, with RR knowing his balls were on the line after 3-8, I figured he's done his due diligence with the hire.

If I could get any single person from the RR era to sit down for 30 minutes after injection with sodium pentathol, it would be GERG.  Things I would really, really like to know for posterity's sake:

1.    When you were hired, was it your understanding that you were going to be given a scheme to run by RR and his carry-over defensive staff, whether you liked it or not?

2.  Did you ever attempt to veto the scheme and install something you felt more comfortable with? 

3.  Were you handcuffed to the 3-3-5 and told to make it work for 2010?

4.  Who was making personnel decisions, i.e., Ezeh-over-Demens?

5.  WTF was that against Penn St./McGloin?

6.  WTF re: stuffed animal?

But mostly, I would like to know the answer to the first two Q's.  I am genuinely open to the idea that he was boxed into an impossible situation from the start if he wasn't allowed to choose his own staff (clearly true) and scheme (unknownish).  It doesn't seem outlandish to suggest that box was then locked in chains and dumped into the ocean from a modified Blackhawk when Angry Michigan DB-Hating God released the Kraken.

mikoyan

May 6th, 2011 at 4:20 PM ^

Ever since Coleman Young swore on 20/20 or whatever show he was on, ABC has had a thing for Michigan.  ESPN's hockey coverage seemed to like anyone that didn't have red and white uniforms and came from Detroit.  ABC's football coverage seems to hate Michigan.  When was the last time they showed Detroit on Monday Night Football?  So I don't think they care how much we hate the man.  In fact, I want to think they relish it  because it is one more craw in our side from them.

Bluefishdoc

May 6th, 2011 at 9:18 PM ^

GERG stepped off a delta flight from Detroit  to LAX this am. Perhaps he has more auditions in Hollywood? It took everything I had not to ask him about the stuffed beaver

Michigan Moonman

May 6th, 2011 at 10:20 PM ^

There are known knowns.  These are things we know that we know.  There are known unknowns.  That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know.  But there are also unknown unknowns.  There are things we don't know we don't know.
 
But the story of the beaver probably falls into the category of knowns that we'd be better off not knowing.  Logic tells me this story is one of those.