Free Cooper Barton; the brave five-year-old Oklahoma wolverine

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August 23rd, 2012 at 3:25 PM
#1
michelin
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 494
Free Cooper Barton; the brave five-year-old Oklahoma wolverine

By now everyone has heard of the five-year-old who dared to wear a UM T-shirt to his Oklahoma kindergarten class.  He  has become a symbol of the the fight against mideaval Oklahoma laws that not only force five year olds to hide their Michigan logos but can also can turn kindergartners into criminals for:

1.      making ugly faces at a dog.

2.      taking an elephant into the downtown area

3.      biting another's hamburger.

4.      wearing shoes to bed  

5.      having the hind legs of farm animals in his boots

6.      molesting an automobile OR

7.      opening a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.

 

I kid you not.  These are real Oklahoma laws!

 

So, how can a kindergartner fight cops, who enforce such unjust laws?  Is there anything we can do to help poor Cooper Barton? 

I suggest a new UM jersey that says:

"Free Cooper Barton": the brave five-year-old freedom fighter from Oklahoma.

 

Please feel free to share your other ideas.

 

/s

 

http://www.ahajokes.com/oklahoma_jokes.html

http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120823/SPORTS0201/208230432/1131/sp...

michelin

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August 23rd, 2012 at 3:28 PM | ok. (Score:5 Normal)
FabFiver5
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Joined: 09/24/2008
MGoPoints: 826

ok.

"That's tremendous, Jim."
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:29 PM | when does actual football (Score:3 Normal)
winterblue75
winterblue75's picture
Joined: 09/05/2009
MGoPoints: 5279

when does actual football start?

Sincerely,

Cpt. Ass-Hat

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:43 PM | Never (Score:5 Normal)
Skiptoomylou22
Skiptoomylou22's picture
Joined: 11/29/2008
MGoPoints: 1328

Ever

Bo' Money Bo' Problems

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:29 PM | who's ready for in-season (Score:5 Normal)
Wenham Wolverine
Joined: 08/10/2010
MGoPoints: 1233

who's ready for in-season posting requirements?!

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:38 PM | Agreed. And why wait? (Score:0 Offtopic)
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:44 PM | So... (Score:0 Offtopic)
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:46 PM | I'm Torn (Score:0 Overrated)
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:31 PM | Ugh! (Score:1 Normal)
GoBluePhil
Joined: 09/15/2011
MGoPoints: 333

Ugh!

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:33 PM | Cool story bro... (Score:1 Normal)
gotohail
Joined: 02/26/2012
MGoPoints: 331

Cool story bro...

The Michigan difference...

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:33 PM | I have a belly-button. (Score:5 Normal)
State Street
State Street's picture
Joined: 07/09/2011
MGoPoints: 1163

I have a belly-button.

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 PM | Innie (Score:1)
KaMGoBlue
Joined: 01/03/2011
MGoPoints: 442

or Outtie?

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:34 PM | I don't get it. (Score:5 Normal)
WolvinLA2
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Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 18039

I don't get it.

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 PM | The jokes that you've made (Score:5 Normal)
MAgoBLUE
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Joined: 05/21/2010
MGoPoints: 2174

The jokes that you've made over the years - I don't really get them.  But the fact that you're making them?  I respect that.

 

 

"fumbles the snap, takes off. . ."

(9/5/09)

Twitter

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:48 PM | This post should be the sole (Score:5 Normal)
htownwolverine
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Joined: 09/02/2009
MGoPoints: 3369

This post should be the sole reason Dear Leader brings back the true posbang.

Who is Jon Falk?
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:37 PM | fight the power mang (Score:2 Normal)
Clown Sauce
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Joined: 07/12/2011
MGoPoints: 869

fight the power mang

"What" ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:38 PM | Yeah... (Score:1)
Stupid Flanders
Stupid Flanders's picture
Joined: 12/29/2008
MGoPoints: 179

I tend to believe that molesting an automobile should be against the law. Maybe it's just me...

Ned Flanders: You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Homer: Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power!

 

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 PM | I'd put biting another (Score:2)
1484
Joined: 06/21/2010
MGoPoints: 14423

I'd put biting another person's burger at the top of that list.  I'd throw someone in jail for that.

Hail.

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:39 PM | (No subject) (Score:5 Normal)
Moleskyn
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August 23rd, 2012 at 3:41 PM | (No subject) (Score:2 Normal)
Wolverine Devotee
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August 23rd, 2012 at 3:44 PM | How to lighten up: step by step instructions (Score:3 Normal)
michelin
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 494

This only applies to a few posts below.

 

http://www.wikihow.com/Lighten-Up

michelin

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:53 PM | (No subject) (Score:5 Normal)
Moleskyn
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Joined: 06/28/2010
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August 23rd, 2012 at 4:01 PM | Your general point (Score:1)
Cope
Joined: 10/07/2010
MGoPoints: 1068

I was going to post some advice on who to email to actually help him, and then I lightened up.

A Journey of Father and Son
http://mysonsfirstbible.blogspot.com/2013/05/15-things-you-may-have-miss...

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:46 PM | Is this "/s" really (Score:3 Normal)
AA2Denver
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Joined: 02/01/2011
MGoPoints: 396

Is this "/s" really necessary?

-----------------

Screw Lance.

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:37 PM | Instead of using /s, (Score:1)
michelin
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 494

I am thinking of using one of the following next time:

 

/Don't Take Life So Seriously. It Isn't Permanent

/Those who laugh last think slowest

/Every One Has The Right To Be Stupid But You're Abusing the Privilege

/If I got smart with you how would you know

/The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list

michelin

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 PM | I was ok with it right up until he used the "/s". (Score:2)
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 5168

Sad lack of confidence is sad.

 

May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:01 PM | Sheesh! (Score:1)
michelin
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 494

Your comments about a lack of confidence betray your own concerns, not mine.

I do agree that the /s symbol is no remedy for the unimaginative, humorless, vindictive, weak, or tedious

 

michelin

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:07 PM | You should listen to this guy, he seems to be on to something. (Score:3 Normal)
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 5168

http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/free-cooper-barton-brave-five-year-old-oklahoma-wolverine#comment-1684532

 

May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift

August 23rd, 2012 at 3:49 PM | Oklahoma killed my Pappy. (Score:2)
Brown Bear
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Joined: 01/10/2011
MGoPoints: 2731

Oklahoma killed my Pappy. DAMN YOU OKLAHOMA!!!!! DAMN YOUUUUU!!!!!

I poop excellence
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:51 PM | Okie Skokie Smokie. First (Score:2)
htownwolverine
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Joined: 09/02/2009
MGoPoints: 3369

Okie Skokie Smokie. First state to ban NyQuil off the shelf. Yeehaw!!!

Who is Jon Falk?
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:02 PM | I'm gonna go ahead and say (Score:2)
LSCrepair
Joined: 08/28/2009
MGoPoints: 656

I'm gonna go ahead and say the anti molesting cars law should stay on the books

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. -Mahatma Gandhi

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:11 PM | you have a point (Score:1)
michelin
Joined: 09/22/2009
MGoPoints: 494

Made me think of Will Campbell.  What would the kids look like if he mated with one of these dinky electric cars?

https://www.google.com/search?q=smallest+cars&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=...

michelin

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:47 PM | It's just so hard to tell if (Score:2)
WolvinLA2
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Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 18039

It's just so hard to tell if it's consensual nowadays.

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:13 PM | I don't know for sure (Score:3 Informative)
aratman
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 267

But I think that Pinto is really into me. 

August 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 PM | we should send (Score:1)
BlueinLansing
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Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 4266

a box of Michigan shirts to that elementary school, just for the hell of it.

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:01 PM | how does one molest an (Score:1)
russale2012
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Joined: 11/30/2011
MGoPoints: 2798

how does one molest an automobile?

Brady Hoke: Kicking Ass And Signing Names On The Recruiting Trail

August 23rd, 2012 at 6:57 PM | Well, (Score:2)
Engin77
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2099

I have no personal experience, but I would assume the tailpipe plays a role.

Taking it one week at a time

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:28 PM | The animal legs in boots makes sense (Score:1)
Mi Sooner
Joined: 02/09/2010
MGoPoints: 1320

It's for those who tend towards OState. In Stillwater where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

It's Oklahoma -- what do you expect? This is a state that was the last state to pass the 21st amendment -- in the 50's. They did not have decent alcohol laws until 1984 -- yes I helped with passing those.

Born in Oklahoma
Raised in Ohio
Escaped to Meechigan

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:35 PM | If Nothing Else... (Score:2)
LSAClassOf2000
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Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 8947

If nothing else, the comprehensive list of Oklahoma laws behind the link was amusing. I would imagine that the famous Blue Whale of Catoosa will be relieved to hear that whaling is illegal in the state of Oklahoma. The other interesting one - apparently, if you solicit a hooker, your name and photo must be on television, so I assume the local news has endless filler material here. 

"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."

Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3

August 23rd, 2012 at 5:52 PM | This is stupid. (Score:1)
Mr. Brownstone
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Joined: 01/27/2011
MGoPoints: 75

The incident and the post.



August 23rd, 2012 at 7:00 PM | Cooper Barton, (Score:3 Funny)
Engin77
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2099

the Lloyd Brady of 2025-2029.

Taking it one week at a time

August 23rd, 2012 at 7:21 PM | Logged in just for the neg bang (Score:-1 Flamebait)
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