I love the Dantonio joke.
There are some old standbys you can rely on:
How do you get the State grad off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What does every UM student and every MSU student have in common?
They ALL got in to Michigan State.
That will get you rolling. But what do I know, I went to Western. My whole family went to UM and I have M sweaters on in my baby pictures.