Favorite U of M / MSU joke
What are your favorite MSU / UofM jokes?
I bring it up because I finally heard a decent UofM joke from a Sparty this week.
If there are three college graduates in a room, how do you know which one went to Michigan?
Wait a minute...they'll tell you.
Maybe it is because I am an alumni and find myself bringing it up quite often, I think this falls into the 'funny because it is true' category.
As for MSU jokes, I am a fan of the joke about the kid who doesn't want to live with his dad, because his dad beats him, and doesn't want to live with his mom, becasue she beats him, so he chooses to live with Dantonio because he heard that he doesn't beat anybody. (Shortened because I am sure you have all heard it)
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:01 AM ^
I love the Dantonio joke.
There are some old standbys you can rely on:
How do you get the State grad off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What does every UM student and every MSU student have in common?
They ALL got in to Michigan State.
That will get you rolling. But what do I know, I went to Western. My whole family went to UM and I have M sweaters on in my baby pictures.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 AM ^
Not interested in a joke about a joke. Really, other than the basketball program, what does that place have going for it? The campus isn't particularly nice. East Lansing is a boon. Football program is a classic underachiever. Academics are average at best. Nothing going on. I'm so unimpressed every time I end up on that campus.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:48 AM ^
Really, other than the basketball program, what does that place have going for it?The Dairy Store. Any lover of ice cream has to go there at least once in their lives. I used to make my Sparty brother and sister pick up a quart for me whenever they came home, and now I ask my future sister-in-law to do it. Also, Crunchy's has absolutely great burgers. It's a rough place to watch a Michigan/MSU hockey game, but worth it for the burgers. Also also, pokey sticks from Gumby's Pizza. Also also also, a great education. Jus' sayin...
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:24 PM ^
Delicious.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 AM ^
John L Smith
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:21 AM ^
Short, brief, to the point-I love it!!!!!
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 AM ^
Bobby Williams
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:07 AM ^
A girl goes to a doctor for a rash on her chest. The Doctor has her take off her shirt and there is a big rash on her chest in the shape of an M. The doctor asks when it appeared, and the woman replied that she spent the weekend visiting her boyfriend and on Monday, there it was. After some more questions, it was determined that he was a Michigan graduate and liked to wear his letterman's sweater when they made love. The next patient in that morning also had a large rash on her chest in the shape of an M. The doctor immediately asked her if her boyfriend went to Michigan. "No," the woman replied, "but my girlfriend went to Western."
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 AM ^
What do Michigan and Michigan State students have in common?
They both got accepted to Michigan State.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:27 AM ^
every state might have that joke...
What do Florida and Florida State students have in common?
They both got accepted to Florida State.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:48 AM ^
Sure, but...academically these schools are so far apart. Calling MSU little brother, does not even describe the separation.
MSU is more like shit in your diaper infant niece.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 AM ^
This one isn't great, but I don't hear it retold often.
Three gentlemen are in a public restroon at the urinals. The first finishes and washes his hands with copious soap and water. He says, "At OSU they teach us to be thorough." The second finishes and washes his hands with very little soap but scubs them for a long time. He says, "At MSU they teach us to be thorough without being wasteful." The third finishes and simply walks out of the room. He says, "At Michigan they teach us not to piss on our hands."
PSA: Always wash your hands, kids.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:17 AM ^
Q: How many State students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Zero -- who needs electric light when you can burn your couch.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:21 AM ^
Q: What's the difference between Cheerios and Michigan State's football team?
A: Cheerios BELONG in a bowl.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 AM ^
that one is great!
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 AM ^
I read this on the board recently:
"Michigan State: so inbred they score with Cousins"
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:23 AM ^
I lol'ed.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 AM ^
Why is it unfair to call a MSU fan a douche?
At least douches get to be inside a woman once in awhile.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 AM ^
I heard a rumor that MSU is going to fire Dantonio and hire Jenna Jamison because they have heard that she doesn't choke on the big ones.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:15 AM ^
That one's too low-brow. State fans might actually get it!
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 AM ^
The Seven Dwarfs are in a cave when the roof collapses. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells into the darkness, "Somebody, say something!"
A distant voice responds, "MSU will win the BCS Championship!"
Snow White sighs, "Oh, thank goodness! At least, Dopey is still alive!"
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 AM ^
AN MSU football player was almost killed in a horseback riding incident. He fell out of the saddle, caught one foot in a stirrup -- and came close to being trampled to death. Just in the nick of time, the Meijer store greeter rushed over and unplugged the horse.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 AM ^
A man is sitting at a park bench when another man sits next to him and they engage in conversation. Shortly after, the second man says, “So, I bet you’re a MSU fan.” The first man says enthusiastically, “Why yes I am. How did you know? My intelligence? My wit? My good looks?” The second fellow says, “No. I saw your class ring when you were picking your nose.”
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 AM ^
Q: what do you get when you drive slowly through east lansing?
A: a degree from michigan state
Q: what does a msu grad call a Michigan grad?
A: boss
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:04 PM ^
I thought the answer to that first question was herpes
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:05 PM ^
Dude I love your picture. Tecmo Super Bowl, takes me back to my childhood. That play was a staple of the Vikings playbook if I recall correctly
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:34 PM ^
If you like Tecmo, you should check this out: http://sois.com/tcs/team.php?id=10§ion=stats
Someone here needs to represent Michigan in TCS (its online Tecmo Super Bowl, college-style)...
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:33 AM ^
You are stuck in a cave with an angry grizzly bear, a mountain lion and a MSUfan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the MSU fan….twice
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:35 AM ^
MSU coach comes into the locker room before practice and says to his star receiver, "You're failing math. If you don’t want to become academically ineligible you’ll have to answer these math questions correctly." The star receiver agrees and the coach asks him "What does 4 plus 4 equal?”
"Eleven” says the athlete. The rest of the team pleads, “give him another chance! give him another chance!”
The coach then asks, "What does 2 plus 2 equal?" and the receiver says "Four". The rest of the MSU team yells give him another chance! give him another chance
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:42 AM ^
Whats the difference between a Medium Pizza and a MSU Grad?
....
The pizza can feed a family of 4
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:56 AM ^
A Michigan fan and a MSU fan are on an island when they come across a genie. The genie tells them that he will grant each of them one wish before transporting them home.
The MSU fan says, "I wish that there was a East Lansing was covered by a dome, so we could keep all of those stupid Michigan fans out." The genie shrugged, granted his wish, and moved the MSU fan to East Lansing. He then then turns to the Michigan fan.
The Michigan fan pauses for a second and then says, "Can you fill that dome with water?"
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:12 AM ^
How do you keep an MSU football player from pleasuring himself?
Paint his manhood with a block M, he'll never beat it again
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 AM ^
Also lowbrow, but just WAY too good.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:48 PM ^
I just LOLed for realsies
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:12 AM ^
I've heard that last one, probably on this blog, involving Jim Tressel building a wall around Ohio and Lloyd Carr saying "fill it up with water". Either way, its good.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 AM ^
and says, "Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the one about the Michigan State Spartans?" Four huge men stand up and approach the man. One of them says, "We play football at MSU, you wanna tell that joke to us?" The guy replies, "What? And have to explain it four times?"
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:14 AM ^
This guy went into an East Lansing store and told the clerk:
"I want a green outfit. I want a green jacket and green slacks. I want a green shirt and tie. I want green shoes and socks".
Clerk: "Are you a Michigan State graduate?"
Guy: "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
Clerk: "Because this is a hardware store."
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:06 AM ^
Best one so far. Only one to make me laugh out loud. Nice work.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:17 AM ^
ballin'
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 AM ^
best one so far.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:28 AM ^
Pretty hilarious last night on their dumb ass all-access show, they have the top 10 best plays of all-time in MSU football history. Well, coming in at #8 was the Javon Ringer/Shawn Crable run from 2007 where Ringer reversed field and was chased down by Crable at the 5 yard line. I thought it was classic Sparty that this play (coming in a loss) would be a top 10 play OF ALL TIME, when MSU didn't score on the play, lost the game, and was actually probably a better play by Crable to miss the initial tackle, get up, run 70 yards acrossed field, and make the tackle. This is just classic sparty.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 AM ^
Why don't MSU Students take graduate programs?
Those courses are 500 level. Nobody there can count that high.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 AM ^
This 10 year old boy in an all UM household decides he is going to be an MSU fan. He goes and tells his dad "dad I am now a state fan" his dad slaps him and says "son I am a proud UM alumni and no son of mine will be state fan. Go tell your mother what you said!" So he walks to the next room and says "mom I have decided I am a Michigan state fan." She slaps him and says "son both your dad and I graduated from UM and that is where your brother goes and that is who you will like. Go to your room and think about that!" A littler later they are driving out to diner and the dad looks back and says "well, son have you thought about what you said to us?" The son looks up at his dad and says "Yeah, I have only been a state fan for 15 minutes and I laready hate you Michigan assholes."
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:52 AM ^
BUt that is pretty funny, I have to say.......+1 to you.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 AM ^
The Michigan State football program.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:18 AM ^
Why do State Grads hand their diplomas from the rear view mirror?
So they can park in the handicapped space.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:25 AM ^
Why did O.J. Simpson drive his White Bronco toward East Lansing?
He knew it was the last place they'd look for a Heisman winner.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 AM ^
If there are three college graduates in a room, how do you know which one went to Michigan? Wait a minute...they'll tell you.How do you know which one went to Ohio State? Wait another minute; he'll tell you how much he hates Michigan. How do you know which one went to Michigan State? Wait 'till everyone else in the room has declared their alma mater; if there's anyone left, that's your fallback.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:57 AM ^
from the mouth of a 10 year old, I have been reading some of the decent jokes to her...then she comes up with;
whats the difference between MSU and a turd?
nothing.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 PM ^
Smoke green, snort white.
But, lets stay classy ann arbor.
"Michigan State- on the rise since 1896"