No. We didn't win the big title.
No. We aren't national champions.
But finally, we're looking at an off season in which we can sit around and ask the serious question:
WHAT KIND OF DAMAGE ARE WE GONNA DO NEXT YEAR?
Have a great off season, bloggers. Can't wait to watch those winged helmets burst out of the tunnel on August 31st.
"Though I received no official response to these sophisticated and elegant tweets to the Illini Athletic Department, I would like to think that Beckman spent the evening prank calling everyone in Illinois named George McLellan and then ordering an absurd amount of hats off an internet haberdashery to hoard in his home's hat annex."