Elliot Mealer's Beard (dotcom)

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September 5th, 2012 at 1:23 AM
#1
sheckylovejoy
Joined: 02/21/2011
MGoPoints: 204
Elliot Mealer's Beard (dotcom)

 

A friend and I were commiserating about the 'Bama loss via email, then the conversation turned to this:

ME:

[Perenial rant about how we are becoming Notre Dame and how I am powerless to stop it]... However, DO NOT underestimate The Beard.

HIM: 

Yes, it would be a mistake to underestimate Mealer and His Beard. ElliotMealersBeard.com is available. It is yours for the taking.

$8 later...

ME:

$8 later, done. What to do with it now?

HIM:

You don't "do" anything with ElliotMealersBeard.com. It grows on its own.

Touche.

But seriously, what do I do with ElliotMealersBeard.com? I don't really have the time or creativity to give The Beard it's full due, and I'd hate to see it linger, like a dead folicle on a less manly man's face. So sad.

Right now, as you can see, I just have it set up as a Tumblr, with a photo that I think really gives you an idea of the inherent power of The Beard and it's potential. What could you do with That Beard? Please tell me how you would make it grow. Right down there in the comments.

Act quick, before Gilette gives him a million dollars to shave it on live TV at halftime of the championship game, in which we certainly will not be playing.

Shecky Lovejoy

Class of '89

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September 5th, 2012 at 1:26 AM | "One Beard to Rule Them All" (Score:4 Normal)
BlueDragon
BlueDragon's picture
Joined: 11/14/2010
MGoPoints: 16811

"One Beard to Rule Them All" is enough reason to maintain a fine website like ElliotMealersBeard.com.

Abort, Retry, Fail?

September 5th, 2012 at 1:36 AM | Until you have definite plans (Score:-1 Flamebait)
September 5th, 2012 at 1:45 AM | No (Score:1 Normal)
Humen
Humen's picture
Joined: 10/04/2010
MGoPoints: 1405

The text is funny. 

 

I think you need to conduct a series of interviews:

1) International beard competition spokesman (there is such a thing, but I cannot recall the name).

2) A homeless man. Ask him about the mystical powers of the beard and such. Give him five dollars.

3) Brock Mealer

4) Elliot Mealer himself

 

 

 

Thanks Thorin/Mgovideo for avatar

 

 
September 5th, 2012 at 9:25 AM | Definitely need to add a (Score:2)
RakeFight
RakeFight's picture
Joined: 02/21/2012
MGoPoints: 1388

Definitely need to add a full-frontal pic.  That semi-profile shot is nice, but it does not do the interwoven intricacy of The Beard due justice.

September 5th, 2012 at 10:44 AM | Considering "Elliot Mealer's Beard" is already a double entendre (Score:3 Normal)
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 39217

I definitely don't want to see the full frontal pic.

"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk

September 5th, 2012 at 1:56 AM | Nothing wrong with advertising (Score:2)
Bryan
Bryan's picture
Joined: 07/10/2009
MGoPoints: 8110

www.ElliotMealersBeard.com/

I have a Fandom Endurance III merit badge

September 5th, 2012 at 2:10 AM | In case anyone was wondering, (Score:4 Normal)
a2_electricboogaloo
a2_electricboogaloo's picture
Joined: 04/21/2011
MGoPoints: 4096

In case anyone was wondering, the URL is http://www.ElliotMealersBeard.com/

USING GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF CAPS LOCK SINCE APRIL 2011

September 5th, 2012 at 3:45 AM | I probably would have opted (Score:1 Normal)
MGoJoe
MGoJoe's picture
Joined: 10/02/2008
MGoPoints: 353

I probably would have opted for something a bit more fairytale-esqe, such as: TheBeardOfElliotMealer.com

September 5th, 2012 at 4:41 AM | Confusing thread (Score:1 Overrated)
Humen
Humen's picture
Joined: 10/04/2010
MGoPoints: 1405

Is it ElliotMealersBeard.com

 

?????

Thanks Thorin/Mgovideo for avatar

 

 
September 5th, 2012 at 6:52 AM | I'm definitely a fan (Score:3 Normal)
WeCheerThemAgain
Joined: 11/27/2010
MGoPoints: 466

of elliotmealersbeard.com/

Allegedly.

"I recently heard from fans and friends that Michigan will be great again one day.   In my opinion, Michigan never stopped being great."  --Zac Ciullo

September 5th, 2012 at 7:21 AM | Sorry to say, but according (Score:5 Normal)
HttV Wolverine
HttV Wolverine's picture
Joined: 08/02/2010
MGoPoints: 7363

Sorry to say, but according to MGoBlue.com and the roster Mealer's first name has two T's at the end. It should be Elliott. But regardless this website is awesome.

“What the mind can conceive, the mind can achieve and those who stay will be champions.” - Bo 

][V][

September 5th, 2012 at 9:45 AM | Que?! (Score:4 Normal)
lakeside
lakeside's picture
Joined: 12/03/2010
MGoPoints: 1890

Man ball. Formerly, somebody else.

September 5th, 2012 at 7:21 AM | you (Score:1)
Coach Schiano
Coach Schiano's picture
Joined: 10/05/2008
MGoPoints: 3057

you should talk to the folks at mustaches for michigan (if they still exist). there is a synergy between the two of you that gets my beard tingling.

I am not really Coach Schiano. -Coach Schiano on Mgoblog

September 5th, 2012 at 10:26 AM | Hey don't leave me out! My (Score:2)
OysterMonkey
OysterMonkey's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 2772

Hey don't leave me out! My website is www.michiganthemedbackhair.net.

 

This has nothing to do with Michigan football.

September 5th, 2012 at 8:41 AM | It should be an hourly diary (Score:2)
OysterMonkey
OysterMonkey's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 2772

It should be an hourly diary written from the perspective of the beard.

And you should spell his name right.

This has nothing to do with Michigan football.

September 5th, 2012 at 9:02 AM | Beard's Log: Hour two of the (Score:5 Normal)
1484
Joined: 06/21/2010
MGoPoints: 14413

Beard's Log: Hour two of the gefilte fish saga.  If my master is going to eat something that smells like my cousin Curly, he should be more careful to get it all in his mouth.  As I sit covered in decaying fish, I plot my revenge...

Hail.

September 5th, 2012 at 9:46 AM | reminds me of this   (Score:5 Normal)
MGoSteelers
MGoSteelers's picture
Joined: 06/19/2011
MGoPoints: 190

reminds me of this

 

September 5th, 2012 at 9:13 AM | What's the Beard's name?  I (Score:2)
willywill9
willywill9's picture
Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 11262

What's the Beard's name?  I like the idea of writing from the beard's perspective.

Talk alittle abit about how you came to be, and how you started to become suspicious of Elliott's intentions for you, so you worked out a deal with the SEALs to encourage Elliott to maintain it for at least the season.

Touchdown Michigan!

September 5th, 2012 at 9:22 AM | Is it just me (Score:2)
Hank Hill
Hank Hill's picture
Joined: 10/03/2008
MGoPoints: 192

Or does it appear as though he could be a stunt double for the Vernor's man?

"Yep"

September 5th, 2012 at 9:24 AM | I can't wait for football (Score:5 Normal)
RakeFight
RakeFight's picture
Joined: 02/21/2012
MGoPoints: 1388

I can't wait for football season to start.

September 5th, 2012 at 9:40 AM | Beard tourney, with the (Score:2 Normal)
oriental andrew
oriental andrew's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4587

Beard tourney, with the fallen bearded laying by the wayside, including the Brawny Man (so demoralized, that he shaved his beard); Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazzard; Brian Wilson; etc.

For my privacy, my new username is "non-Oriental non-Andrew"
 

September 5th, 2012 at 10:11 AM | According to twitter, at (Score:3 Funny)
Feat of Clay
Feat of Clay's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 2886

According to twitter, at least one campus squirrel is fantasizing about nesting in it.

 

Candace: No... That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain-hurty things.
Phineas: Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
September 5th, 2012 at 10:24 AM | Lloyd Brady, Hoke point (Score:1)
GrindToEat
GrindToEat's picture
Joined: 04/23/2012
MGoPoints: 160

Whatever you do with this site, there must be Lloyd Brady. And there must be a pointing Hoke.

September 5th, 2012 at 11:56 AM | I cannot type or spell (Score:3 Normal)
sheckylovejoy
Joined: 02/21/2011
MGoPoints: 204

I knew The Beard was powerful -- EVEN MORE POWERFUL THAN MY MISPELLING OF HIS NAME!

I've rectified the situation, and in a few hrs, the site will become http://ElliottMealersBeard.com.

Now if I can only get that Full Frontal...

And I promise pointing Hokes. Seriously.

 

Shecky Lovejoy

Class of '89

September 5th, 2012 at 12:10 PM | FYI (Score:2)
macdaddy
macdaddy's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1015

My usual beard classification:

A) Epic

B) Awesome

C) Sweet

D) Standard

E) Weak

F) Lame

G) Fail

 

Mealer and Brian Wilson are clearly Epic. I would be a Fail (indicating a complete inability to produce anything resembling beard-like substance).

September 5th, 2012 at 12:30 PM | And for further clarification (Score:2)
macdaddy
macdaddy's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1015

Brett Keisel = Epic

Sidney Crosby = Lame/Fail

September 5th, 2012 at 1:45 PM | Again, via twitter.... (Score:4 Normal)
Feat of Clay
Feat of Clay's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 2886

The whiskered man himself has indicated his awareness --and approval-- of the website.  Congrats.

 

Candace: No... That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain-hurty things.
Phineas: Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
September 5th, 2012 at 3:54 PM | Does the beard have a Twitter (Score:3 Funny)
Volverine
Volverine's picture
Joined: 05/07/2011
MGoPoints: 789

Does the beard have a Twitter account yet? 

University of Tom Brady, B.A. '10; University of Peyton Manning, J.D. '13.

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