Cooking By The Book

Submitted by BlockM on
This has been a rough year for everyone involved with the Michigan Football program. Any time there are more threads about whether the coach should be fired than whether we should have gone for two to run up the score on a rival it can be assumed that the year has not gone as planned. (Copious exaggeration FTW!) 
However, the underlying theme of the year from those who have not gone so bat-shit insane that they've begun booing 17 year-olds and posting hate messages anonymously on the internet is that our coach is methodically implementing his system and will unveil his death butterfly sooner than we know. 

The key, as others have mentioned, is that Rodriguez needs to do everything according to his plan. "Cooking by the book" if you will. And so, I would like to share with you a song that I think perfectly describes our situation. First, the lyrics with commentary:

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake, (Sounds fishy right? It should be tough to bake a pretty cake, just like building a great football program at Michigan!)
If the way is hazy, (Which it clearly is right now...)
You've got to do the cooking by the book, (And not by the book of the guy in row 87 booing at the 17 year-olds)
You know you can't be lazy! (Talkin' 'bout PRACTICE!)
Never use a messy recipe, (Like mixing two different systems to placate the blue-hairs)
The cake will end up crazy! (Or, in football, your offense will end up "epically awful and brutally shitty")

From there, I think Lil' Jon clarifies any questions you might have. Thanks to Jay-Ron Stokes for suggesting this become a diary.