Conflict resolution please

You goto the wedding and then fly to the game.

As long as it's a 330 game and you miss the reception, no problem.. i've done it before...  

No chance, looks like you'll have to donate those extra tickets to me so my dad can come along with me.

Tell your niece that with a divorce rate near 50 percent, you are betting that there will be another wedding. And you will definitely be at that one. 

Some weddings are much quicker than others. You may be able to make it, is she a Michigan fan? If so, lay it out there so she will understand.

One of the FIRST Lessons in a marriage..

NEVER I repeat NEVER schedule ANYTHING on a Michigan football saturday

Tell her you cannot sit that long, and that your Doctor recommends that stand with 113,000 of your friends in a communal spot on that day.

Easy, I'll just stand in the wedding for you.

try walking down the aisle with two broekn legs!

My stance is that anyone who knows me well enough to invite me to a wedding knows how big of a Michigan football fan I am. If they schedule their wedding during a game, they obviously don't care if I show up or not.

What's she doing getting married in Chicago in November, anyway? That's just torture.

is noon in ANN ARBOR.  No chance he flies and makes the game after the wedding.  Well, maybe if he's got his own plane.

#1.  Just tell them you aren't going.  Are you really that close with the niece?  Would she be crushed if you aren't there?  You are also talking about a wedding in another city (assuming you live closer to A2).  Anybody who would give you crap for missing it probably sucks anyway and a nice gift should really be sufficient to make up for your absence.

#2.  If you really want to get sneaky about it, I have missed a wedding before (unintentionally) because I actually mixed up the RSVP date and the actual wedding date (swapped the number of the former with the month of the latter somehow in my head).  If you go through the motions of booking a plane ticket or showing up in Chicago on the wrong date (excuse for a quick vacation) you should get a pass (again, a nice gift and fake apologies will also probably go a long way toward smoothing things over). 

I had a cousin get married (years ago) on the Michigan-MSU game, most of my cousins were MSU fans, my Dad had a button that played the Michigan fight song on his suit. He didn't intend to press it, but in the middle of the vows, he crossed his arms and the button went off. Luckily the wedding party did not hear, but most everyone in the rows around us did.

Embed fail

http://youtu.be/JFvujknrBuE

Don't agree with ceremonies and that you got lost trying to get to the reception. You then ate quickly (have a family member pick up your name card at the place card table) and that you had an exam you had to get back and study for, or you had an lmportant presentation to prepare for Monday. Claim the cake was great and thank her for a great time.

Tell her that if she really wanted you to come, she wouldn't schedule it on a day you were unavailable. The B1G schedule has been out since last November, so you were booked ahead of the wedding. Sorry.

Before expansion and now the 9 game conference schedule, the Big Ten used to have it's schedule released like 10 years in advance. It was great for getting out of things in order to go to games--"I have had this planned for the past 4 years, and your wedding/funeral/whatever is not going to change my plans."

Tell her that she should set up a webcam in the back for people that can't attend the wedding but want to watch the ceremony.  Then as it gets closer, "sprain your ankle" and tell her "good thing you set up that webcam!  I can't wait to see the ceremony!"  Send your gift with a very thoughtful hand-written letter expressing how happy you are for her and how you hope she has lifelong happiness.

Then go to the game.

"miss" your flight. Ooops, what, the other flights that day are all booked and no one is taking a bump? Oh if only I could have made your wedding dear niece! Here is a nice tablecloth gift.

Problem solved.

It's the Nebraska game, so the stakes are high.  Here's a couple options:

1.  Get arrested on Friday night and don't post bail until it's too late for the wedding.

2.  Outpatient surgery...something with restricted travel for 48 hours.  Hope you live near Ann Arbor.

If all else fails, ask your brother/sister to provide DNA results before attending.  It might not even be your biological neice. 

You have to go to the wedding. That's just how it is. You buckled in, so now you have to take the ride.

It's fine, the 19th is my birthday. Just tell her you already had plans to drink with some guy you met on the internet.

Simple answer: You can guarntee this is the first time Nebraska plays michigan in football as a memeber of the Big Ten in Ann Arbor. You cannot guarnatee that this is your niece's only wedding..... 

Curel, sure, but it's Michigan vs. Nebraska....

My senior year at UM I skipped my cousin's wedding to go to the UM @ ND football game, Remy Hamilton hit the game winner! Best part - my Uncle is an ND grad....

Go Blue!

Hello friend, I have outlined a series of solutions for your problem. The number one thing you need to remember is that it will work itself out. As long as you allow yourself to be open to all of your options. That means a sincere commitment to give a little to get a little.

I will be able to provide more solutions if i knew more about you. I will just generalize who you are: 1. A Michigan man. 2. Married. 3. Works for a living and is the major bread winner of the family. 4. Loves all things michigan.

1.a) Don't commit to anything, dont even talk about it, stay quiet, say NOTHING! b) Pray to God that he will work this out for you. Trust me he knows how hard you work for a living and his reward to you is football. c) I assuming that you are married, that is a very good thing. Your wife could cover for you! All you have to do is give her the Visa and tell her to enjoy herself for the day in chicago. d(if required). Your work, figure out a way that would require to be at your work and not allow you to make the flight/drive to chicago in the time needed. If you utilize option (d) you may have the ability to use the visa yourself instead of the wife. She will still be required to give the newlyweds your best wishes.

This is the last piece of advise I must give you and the most important. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE GAME. Don't even let anybody outside of your house that u have them. If someone brings it up, just tell them you will donate them to the local big brothers/big sisters. (your not really gonna, but this will lend credibility to your true desire to want to go{that's what they think,hahaha})  I hope this helps.

In future if anyone else has an issue please feel free to ask. thanks make sure you tip your bartender and waitress.

They do weddings at the Big House now. Just need to convince her that getting married just before the game is her dream wedding.

Convince your niece to go to the game with you.  She'll figure out the wedding stuff on her own. 

Tell her you can't make it. Ignore all drama and fallout.

1.  Find out where the rehearsal dinner is.  Just happen to show up at the bar there for a few cocktails.  Make sure to have a short conversation with your niece (how excited you are for her, how you can't wait to see her dance in her wedding dress, how you can't believe a young woman as beautiful as she could have come from your brother - if it's your sister skip this one...)  Although she will be in wedding-fog on the day of her wedding, the night before will definitely make an impression.  She will forever remember you in Chicago the night before her wedding.

2.  Fly home to Ann Arbor on either the last flight out of Chicago, or the first flight the next day.

3.  Enjoy the game.  If it is a noon game, take the 5:00 flight out of DTW and arrive at Ohare by 5:30, ready to rock out the reception.  If it is a 3:30 game, skip the 4th quarter and make it to DTW by 7:00 to make the 7:30 flight and arrive in Chicago by 8:00.  Hopefully this is in time for at least the end of her reception... if it's a 3:30 game and an early reception, you are screwed, abort Devious Plan.  (Hopefully you read this plan prior to initiating it.  If not, I apologize, but you are screwed.  Turn off your MGoBlog and turn back to the game, it's too late anyway.)

4.  If the plan is able to proceed, and you can make it back to the rehearsal, solidify your presence of seeing her dance in the wedding dress... make the comment over again.  "I am so glad to see you rocking it out out there on the dance floor in that wedding dress!"  This will now have created a continuum in her mind of you being there.

5.  After living another 5 decades during which Michigan notches at least 40 B1G Championships, die knowing that you are one of the millions of Americans each summer who skips a wedding but shows up to the reception; die with guilt or die with daring glee... I leave this final step up to you.

Find someone who looks like you and give him some monetary compensation for attending in your stead.  Doesn't have to be a perfect match, just an approximate match, but be sure to purchase him a haircut to match your own.  Preferably he'll be poor so the compensation doesn't have to be high.  Here's the key - your stand-in will definitely develop a case of laryngitis and be unable to talk.  He'll wear a "M" pin on his lapel to further the deception. He'll simply hug the bride, smile, eat his tiny filet and vegetable medley, and leave with the first wave of elderly guests. Your neice's head will be spinning from the whole experience anyways and if the guy looks even remotely like you you're in the clear.  If you're married, you must instruct said doppelganger not to hit on any other wedding guests, particularly family members. 

Saddam Hussein had a bunch of lookalikes he sent out to stump when he wanted to watch Michigan games.  Even Dave Brandon hires lookalikes to attend events based on yesterday's thread. 

It's something all important people do....and you, sir, are every bit as important as Saddam Hussein. 

Very simple my friend.  Just send a big gift in advance with your regrets and add the money you would have spent on the trip.  Cash talks

There should be a law against getting married in the Fall.  Yeah, the weather is not as hot and people like the colors of the changing leaves but that's all done by November.  Why get married at that time?

Sorry, I know this isn't advice.  I just had to vent.  

I missed back to back games in 2007 (a 38-0 win over Notre Dame and a 14-9 win over Penn State) because of weddings.  Both involved friends since childhood so there was no way I could miss them.  Those were my first and hopefully last Fall weddings to attend.

For Eastern Michigan. (but made the reception by driving there). Sent the wife in advance. If I can do that, you can find a way for Nebraska.

If it's A2 (or close proximity) then your car is broke, send a fat check and your golden. If it's Chicago then you're screwed.

Just tell her that you can't go because you have plans that day. I've missed so many family events, weddings ect. Can't say I've been "missing" them though.

Send your decline due to a previous engagement along with a really, really nice wedding present.  Bonus: you save her the cost of two meals at the reception.

It's not about the niece really. Speaking as someone married in the last year, the whole thing is so bewildering you hardly notice or care about who showed and didn't.

Do you have a good relationship with your brother/sister (-in law) and want to maintain that relationship? If so, I think you need to be at the wedding. Michigan/Nebraska at the Big House will be around for a long time; you can't be as sure about family. If they know you well enough, they will understand how big of a sacrifice missing the game is for you, and that will mean more than any gift.

Sounds like you'll have a blast at the wedding, you can always send me the tickets if youd like.

First and foremost, of course, who schedules a wedding on a Saturday in the fall when they know  there are Michigan fans afoot?

Second, if it is a quick ceremony, you might make it yet - it's 3:30 PM game isn't it?

You could always come down with a rare but not unheard of illness which is the pet topic of someone in the Infection Control & Epidemiology group at the University Of Michigan Hospital. You have an appointment for that Saturday morning. Totally unverifiable if you "develop" symptoms gradually. 

No conventional excuse will work; you know it, we know it because you had to ask a bunch or complete strangers, and the American Peope know it because no one ever gets away with this stuff without a lot of headaches. Unless...

You're going to need a trick play, my friend. A fumblerooski. A fake punt. The Statue of Liberty. End-around.

You have to fly to another town far away on boss' orders, no excuses, too bad, you'll be fired if you don't go. If you run your own business, you have a huge deal and you must try to snag the customer. Whatever. You just need to be out of town.

You will fly to said city. If you're smart, you will even have your spouse drive you to the airport with bags packed, etc., as part of the ruse. You will be booked at a hotel in said city throughout the ordeal - if someone calls your room, someone needs to say, "Mr./Ms. Rastafari is checked in but is not in his/her room."

On game day, you will secretly fly home, rent a car, and see the game wearing a disguise of some sort.

You will then fly back to Whatever City, and stay there for a couple of days. Then you will fly home, exhausted, your spouse will pick you up at the airport, and you will ask about the wedding, want to see pictures, etc. You will not even mention the Nebraska game.

Enjoy the game!

Edit: I forgot to mention that after a few years, the guilt may start to go away, but the residue will gnaw at your entire being, until one evening, you stumble, drunk, into your bedroom and confess the whole sordid episode.

Are you married? If yes, none of the suggestions will work. Your wife will rat your ass out. Better to buy a 4G portable hot spot and watch the online game streams and tear your eyeballs out watching the LiveBlog. Don't miss a minute, or you aren't a true fan.

If no, fully recommend investing a couple grand in a hooker who is approximately hot enough to be a believable mate for the future Mr. Your Niece and have her drape herself all over him in a couple of public situations while you take pictures or invest the same in professional Photoshop for the same purpose. What's your niece's happiness next to the first Nebraska game? She'll understand.