On Chad and Us

Submitted by CR on

I met Tammi Carr once, briefly, at a fund raiser, before Chad was born. She was warm and engaging, the sort of person who makes you feel better about yourself for the interaction.

I have known Lloyd Carr for more than 10 years. He breaks all stereotypes. Coach Carr is passionate about passion. He is more interested in his former players, their lives, than what they accomplished on the field. He is more interested in literature than sports; more interested in ideas and the obstacles that others have overcome than his own achievements. The coach has helped me in ways that he does not acknowledge or, perhaps, even understand, but I will be grateful until my last breath for what he has done for me. And, as time has proven, between the interests of Michigan and his own personal interests, he will choose and has chosen Michigan. I have never been a believer in the notion of a “Michigan Man.” The construct seems both too limited and too broad. But, if there is such a thing, I think Coach Carr embodies it as much as any person I know.

I never met Chad Carr though I feel as if I have, and I think many who have posted here feel the same way. I know he was handsome and tough and lived for longer than any of his doctors projected or thought possible. More than this, I think Chad has given all of us the gift of his struggle, the gift of allowing us the opportunity to be empathic and to care about him. And, perhaps, to be caring about others, even those we don’t know. I am crying while I write this, was crying while I read Seth’s lovely note and the passionate and thoughtful notes of others on this board. I don’t want to leave it for today; for only today, that is. I want his passing to help me to be more forgiving, to be more thoughtful and generous towards others. Maybe, Chad’s life, and our response to his tragedy, can make us all better and that’s a legacy of monument.

jmdblue

November 24th, 2015 at 4:18 PM ^

sheer weight of the tragedy makes for some tough, tough writing and the results usually are just piss poor.  This, however, is just exactly right. Thanks.

MGoGrendel

November 24th, 2015 at 4:37 PM ^

Hovered over it a few times, went to other threads, came back and clicked.

Glad I did - great read and and eye opener on how I should treat others.  Be kind; you never know what the other person is going through.

I was in line at the grocery store and my teenage son was ringing me up.  He smiled his normal big smile and said; "How are you today!" to the elderly woman in line behind me.  She said: "Not too good, my husband just passed yesterday."  You never know what the other person is going through.

My heart goes out to the Carr family.

Bodogblog

November 24th, 2015 at 4:19 PM ^

I've looked at the picture several times today, the one with the father holding his son.  First by accident, then I couldn't help it.  The tussled hair, I can't not think of my own boys. 

I don't want to forget, I want this to matter and I want the helplessness to this disease to change. 

beedub93

November 24th, 2015 at 4:26 PM ^

Bravo! Very well written.

I teared up 3 or 4 times yesterday , and today on the way to work. I have never met any members of the Carr family, but I feel just heartbroken for the entire group.

What are other posters doing to cope? I didn't let my 8 year old son out of my sight last night.

I just can't imagine the grief of having to bury a child.




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BlueKoj

November 24th, 2015 at 4:48 PM ^

The picture of Jason Carr appeared on my Michigan Football Twitter feed and I wept. It was unexpected, that moment, but not surprising. I have two boys and a girl, and was overwhelmed by the picture and the situation. I shared it with my wife so that I didn't feel alone. I hugged and kissed all of my kids when they got home from school. It wasn't different for them, because I always do, but it was different for me. That was and has been my response for weeks now. Thanks for sharing Craig, and well said.

jace owen

November 24th, 2015 at 5:52 PM ^

That was a great post; well written, thoughtful, and heartfelt. I too have hugged all three of my boys, all under six, a little longer and more than usual. It hits me hard as we celebrate the homegoing of their sister this December 3rd. A little girl we only got to hold in the hospital and never bring home. Each day we get is a blessing. We also overcome tragedy and heartache to do great things.
Chad is in glory now forever... CHADTOUGH!

FrankX

November 24th, 2015 at 6:36 PM ^

Full disclosure:  I have a child with terminal discease.  Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.  We were on the Videoboard at Michigan Stadium in the pregame of the Minnesota game last year.  That was the game where Chad and his family were on the field.  That day, we thought how luckly we are to have our son, disease and all, for every day we do.

My heart aches for parents who lose their child.  There is nothing like it and you are never 'whole' after that.  I know this because in my community, losing sons is something that happens weekly, somewhere. 

I am sad for the Carr family.  Parents and siblings.  I am sad for the people touched by his story.  Next week, stop being sad and act.  I am sorry to be blunt, but act.  Give money, raise awareness, write congress and tell them our funding of medical research of terminal diseases is a joke.  Tell the FDA to do what it can to improve the pipeline of approvals of promising treatments.  Ask for us to buy one less aircraft carrier and cure one childhood disease.  Get involved in "Make a Wish"  Find someone in your area that could use a hand or your expertise if you have one. 

Today, there was a hearing at the FDA about a new treatment for Duchenne.  The first ever.  It will not help my son, but it is hope.  This treatment came about because of people decided that this damn disease has killed enough of our children.  They raised money, motivated scientist, and generally pushed for something to be done.  The cancer that took Chad can be fought and beaten one day.  Make that day happen sooner by getting involved somehow. 

 

beedub93

November 25th, 2015 at 9:39 AM ^

I am saddened to hear your story and emboldened enough to write my representatives now and not just once. Do you have any recommendations for donations we can make to fight and defeat Duchenne?

Thank you and God Bless.




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