CC: Voldemort
Positives
-Creative offensive mind; the dark arts are always unexpected and catch people off guard when used.
-Disciplinarian
-Strong Academics: Graduated at the top of his class,
-Not afraid to sacrifice a piece of himself for the program
-Strong Recruiter
-Will fit in with the "Michigan Man" crowd because he is also clinging to the past.
-Thinks Urban Meyer is a muggle
-Would make the post-game handshake very interesting
-Would bring Bellatrix Lestrange as an assistant. She's considered quite offensive, and is reportedly eager to get back into the game.
-Dave Brandon may already be under an Imperius curse.
Negatives
-Fictional character
-May have a show-cause penalty upon his hiring.
-Parents may be weary of sending their children to him for 4 years
-Could bring bad press
-Never witnessed a football game
-The tattoos the players will be forced to get may be an NCAA violation
October 6th, 2014 at 9:42 AM ^
aaaaaaand delete
October 6th, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
you wouldn't be saying that if someone made a humorous thread about Voltron becoming the next coach...
October 6th, 2014 at 9:55 AM ^
I would down vote that one, too. I'm just sick of the board being cluttered with these stupid threads. This isn't RCMB.
October 6th, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
I mean, Voltron for AD, sure. Gotta have a handsome AD (particularly Maize 'n' Blue football Voltron just sayin'). But this coaching carousel business has to stop!
October 6th, 2014 at 10:32 AM ^
for your honesty. And I think I can tell you're being honest because you pretty much downvote anything and everything.
"This guy threw at his son at a father-son game." -Harry Doyle
October 6th, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
He's our resident Fun Sponge. He clearly would rather break down what the team is having for lunch...
October 6th, 2014 at 9:43 AM ^
Don't know if he's enough of a Hogwarts Man. We need someone more like Dumbledore.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 10:20 AM ^
Don't we already have him?
October 6th, 2014 at 10:46 AM ^
fictional world.
Gandolf the White brings a lot to the table here. Tons of experience.
I also think Electro could bring a lot of life to this program as well and he has that "hard edge" that we having been looking for as well.
October 6th, 2014 at 1:29 PM ^
First Lieutenant Aldo Raine from Inglorious Basterds as our next HC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ft7kkXO98c#t=91
October 6th, 2014 at 9:44 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 9:44 AM ^
Voldemort looks a lot like Pelini.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:46 AM ^
I never made that connection before. Wow. He really does.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:45 AM ^
have some bias, but his opinion on Meyer is a real positive...
October 6th, 2014 at 9:45 AM ^
I actually really like this. We all need to lighten up.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:45 AM ^
of resembling that stone-cold fox Bo Pelini, so I'm in.
October 6th, 2014 at 10:55 AM ^
Pelini really is kinda sexy. Any name with a philtrum longer than his nose is the kind of man I'd switch teams for.
October 6th, 2014 at 1:05 PM ^
nobody in the Big Ten wears pleated khakis and a hoodie like Pelini. I'm sayin'.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:45 AM ^
CC: Hank Scorpio
you just want to get fired up and kill a secret agent for this guy
October 6th, 2014 at 10:22 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 11:05 AM ^
I could kill James Bond 7 days a week and it would never get old. With my beloved Klobb of course. More humiliating that way.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:46 AM ^
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October 6th, 2014 at 9:47 AM ^
I can't wait for the Darth Vader CC later this morning
October 6th, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
I prefer Yoda personally.
Edit: Brian probably wouldn't approve though due to the whole 900 years old thing.
October 6th, 2014 at 10:29 AM ^
Come on. He is NOT what the team needs right now. Yoda has been stuck in his ancient methods of teaching the force for years. His refusal to even consider using the dark side (despite it now being used by most college teams and the NFL) would keep Michigan trailing behind our rivals and the SEC. We need a guy like Darth Vader who people are afraid of. He uses a red light saber? So what? I mean, Yoda's is green.
Also, Yoda never really would answer any questions in a press conference. He'd just give us Yoda talk where we have to figure it out. Darth Vader tells it like it is. Yoda would continue our dive into mediocracy.
October 6th, 2014 at 12:20 PM ^
See here's the problem with both Darth Vader and Voldemort. They're players would only fear them so they would never run through walls for them.
Now Mace Windu on the other hand is younger, sexier, bad ass, wise, fearsome but commands admiration and willing to kill when necessary even though it's not the Jedi way. His players would fear and love him and that's a winning combination.
October 6th, 2014 at 6:09 PM ^
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October 6th, 2014 at 10:03 AM ^
I WANT R2D2. A MICHIGANDROID.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:55 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 9:47 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 10:35 AM ^
This is the kind of blind bias from Dumbledore's Army that really pisses me off. I mean, Dumbledore let first years fight a troll and yet noone says anything. Bringing up Voldemort's questionable safety records without mentioning Dumbledore's is rediculous.
p.s. Your user name is funny. Hadn't heard that yet
p.p.s I've found that arguing over fictional character's qualifications vs real coach's qualifications is going to be a much more theareputic thing than anything else right now. Thank's MgoVoldemort for this comedic reprieve.
October 6th, 2014 at 12:24 PM ^
Yeah a troll with the IQ of an acorn. He was no match for Harry, Hermione and Ron even if they were only like 10 years old.
October 6th, 2014 at 1:44 PM ^
We know the outcome now, but it was unknown if they could handle it at the time and that is on Dumbledore.
(Also they were 11 man. 11 is when they get their letter)
October 6th, 2014 at 4:19 PM ^
Dumbledore knew man, he knew.
Yeah forgot the owls go out at age 11.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:47 AM ^
Actually, since this season is a lost cause anyway, could we just replace Brady Hoke with someone who thinks they are Voldemort? It'd be way more fun to see some guy in a robe and a wand on our sideline casting fake spells than watching Brady's struggle face and clapping all game long.
October 6th, 2014 at 9:50 AM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 9:51 AM ^
The Dark Lord is already among us...
October 6th, 2014 at 9:52 AM ^
Holy shit.
October 6th, 2014 at 10:00 AM ^
Holy crap, that's terrifying.
October 6th, 2014 at 10:04 AM ^
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October 6th, 2014 at 12:26 PM ^
That's awesome!
October 6th, 2014 at 4:30 PM ^
So this is what you get if you cross a human with a sea turtle!
October 6th, 2014 at 6:01 PM ^
October 6th, 2014 at 10:13 PM ^
Holy crap!
October 6th, 2014 at 9:57 AM ^
Negatives: has at least one thing in common with Brandon--skywriting