Hilarity potential: magnificent.
eff out of my locker room man.
Do you still feel the same way about Duke?
<inaudible offscreen comment>
Nantz: Aww hell, baggy shorts and a Michigan shirt; they all look the same to me.
Nance: Hey Darius, do you think I can still give coach K. head if you guys pull of the upset?
Darius: Idk man, as long as you don't do it on my fucking court.
"So I was thinking--you know--if you--if you're not doing anything later..."
Nance: I've got some hookers in my room. What do you say we go celebrate? My treat.
Just be the best Darius Morris you can be. I strive to be the best Jim Nantz I can be because it's the only thing I'm the best at.
(Thinking) Oh fuck, it's a black guy.
It's not Tiger Woods!
You know, you really do talk well , for um a...point guard.
nance: so you call this thing here a "wall" ?
and who the fuck is that over there taking notes?
"So after you drove past the whole MSU team and shot a perfect layup, WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT!?!?!"
Darius... I was wondering, is uh... is Vogrich seeing anybody?
Nance- Wait until game and I get in one last dig in on the Fab 5. Until then I am going to strike my best Captain Morgan pose.
Darius- Whatevs, just don't fucking call me the Butterfly.
Nance: Do you have facebook or something?
"Darius, do you like gladiator movies?"
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Darius, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Nance: you like the jacket?
D-Mo: Not really...
Nance: Thanks its new
"Are you realy a butterfly?"
he is one soggy pickle.
How you doin?
Not too bad. How you doin'?
Darius Morris, maybe he should be called Darius Bore-is... eh? No?
NOLAN SMITH'S PARENTS ARE TEACHERS!
Nantz: Over that way? Okay, sir.
"I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
I... I'm friends with Merlin Olsen too. He comes over on occasion."
Darius: Are we awake?
Nance: We're not sure. Are we... black?
Darius: Yes, we are.
Nance: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled.
15's my lmit on schnitzengruben
I thought this one fit as well:
Darius: Well, Jim, since you are my guest and I am your host, what's your pleasure? What do you like to do?
Nantz: Oh, I don't know. Play chess... screw...
Darius: Well, let's play chess.
So you're here to play against Duke? Fascinating. I never realized that there were two teams out there.
Nance: So, Darius, what's your favorite part of the tournament so far?
D-Mo: "DUH. WINNING"
Nantz: "Any chance you'll report back to me after the next 'Black Guy Meeting' to tell you how the whole Jalen/Grant thing is playing out?"
Aside to reporter: "Boy, that Dontavious sure is a strapping young fella isn't he?"
This has so much caption, photoshop, and gif potential, but I just don't have the energy.
"The Masters is an event unlike any other, Darius."
Nantz: Is your father an astronaut? Because he's taken all the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Morris: Nah, man. My dad was a caterpillar.
"Hey, baby. Come here often?"
But, that's why you have 33,771 MGoPoints, and I don't.
Nance: Alright hold still now. I'm telling you, these guys are real pros. Bill, on the right there, got his art degree from Washtenaw Community College. The other guy, Stan, his only job is to capture the subtle nuances of your face. Try a more pouty look, or a Zoolander.
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Nantz: "Who all seen the leprechaun say 'Yeaaaaaaa'"
Peyton and I can get you a great deal on a Playstation. We are tight with Sony, really man.
Jim Nantz: Hey Darius, do you know how to spell my last name?
Morris: Of course I do Jim. It's N-A-N-T-Z. Only people who don't know how to use Google spell it N-A-N-C-E.
Nantz: Boy that MC Hammer really is something isn't he? What do you listen to?
Nantz: Easy-E? Oh, my daughters used to like him. We also really like that Michael Jackson guy.
"We especially liked Jackson after he turned white. No, wait....I like black guys who are white on the INSIDE. My bad."
Nantz would not know who Easy-E was.
"I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars."
"I know you guys are all alike, where is the money?"
Guy with clipboard: so it's says here on this transcript Mr. Nantz that you were going to perform some rather unspeakable acts on Mr. Morris and his teammates when you saw them next. They include a couple of terms we haven't heard before, including a "Blue Devil Dookie" and a "Whitey Washout.". Cate to explain yourself?
Nantz: that's not me. You have the wrong guy!
Clipboard guy: so your AIM name is not 'Shagging_McNantzy'?
Nantz: (shakes head, looks startled)
Morris: how about you take a seat.
How about lavender?
Nantz: How about not?
Do you always make Stu take down your interview quotes?
Morris: No, but if he wants me to pass it to him during the game, he better have those down.
Nantz: Good thing that alter boy is taking notes in his trapper keeper, otherwise the whole world would be seeing what the ladies affectionately refer to as the "Heat Seeking Moisture Missle."
Darius: Not much to see there homie. This is all very awkward. Im gonna go make some dookies look stupid. And that altar boy..... He's not taking notes.... He's doing an amateur sketch. Like I said....... Awkward.
Nantz: "This is how Coach K stands when I blow him"
Darius: "Can we please just talk basketball?" (in his mind: "he's wide open for a sack tap...")
Nantz: "So, do you wake up every morning and say to yourself 'I hate the Fab Five. They ruined everything'? Because that's what I do - I mean, that's what I would do if I were you, you know."
"And that's the second time I got crabs..."
Nantz: "When you watched the Fab Five documentary, did it make you feel kind of guilty? You know, because you wear the same uniform as those boys?"
Morris: "I don't know, sir, did you feel a bit guilty when you watched The Birth of a Nation?"
Lock the thread.
Nance: If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.
Morris: What are you trying to say Jim?
Nance: I’m a peaceful man with bad intentions.
Morris: Are you on drugs?
Nance: I'm on a drug. It's called Jim Nance.
Morris: When's the last time you've used Jim?
Nance: The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.
Morris: Umm, OK... I think you're going to resent this interview.
Nance: Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my sabre.
Morris: This interview is going nowhere. What is your goal here Jim?
Nance: I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.
Morris: This interview is over, loser.
Nantz: "Coach K still thinks you're on your way to being a butterfly, but not quite there yet. Your thoughts?"
Darius: "No Nantz, that's just an attempted sacrifice gone wrong."
Are you sure you do not bear it needlessly?
Nantz: So Darius, if I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?