UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCHMEARED BY ALLEGATIONS OF BAGEL-RELATED IMPROPRIETIES
Charles Robinson-The NCAA is investigating claims that the University of Michigan football team has been receiving improper bagel benefits at training table. Sources at Sid's Bagel Fragel have admitted to providing the football team with the exotic amuse bouches known as Fragels, fried bagels that are more conform to the NCAA's definition of donuts. Bagels, while covered by NCAA bylaw 16.5.2(h) "(h) Fruit, Nuts and Bagels. An institution may provide fruit, nuts and bagels [including bagel spreads (e.g., butter, peanut butter, jelly, cream cheese)] to a student-athlete at any time," must be of the common form that you would buy in a grocery store. Competitors Breugger's Bagels and Panera Bread of Ann Arbor provided critical documentation of their NCAA-approved bagel inventory.
The UM hockey team has also been alleged to have been provided with lox at training table, a clear violation of 16.5.2(h), which only allows for butter, peanut butter, jelly, and cream cheese explicitly. Athletic Director Dave Brandon dismissed this allegation out of hand, saying, "Bylaw 16.5.2(h) refers to the approved spreads with the introductory 'exempli gratia,' that is to say, it does not exclude lox from the approved spreads list. But I wouldn't expect the NCAA to understand Latin, considering they are baffled by the concept of a pryori."
Not even the women's water polo team has escaped scrutiny, having received locally-grown tomatoes and squash. While botanically considered fruits, the NCAA is forming a special task force to determine whether foods that are popularly considered vegetables qualify under the Bylaw 16.5.2(h) exemption.
President Mary Sue Coleman was not available for comment.